Chapter 117 'Alone': Summary and Analysis
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
Chapter 117, titled “Alone,” is one of the briefest chapters in the book, and its brevity is itself part of its meaning. The narrator opens by confessing that they cannot determine how long Sani has been gone—whether one day, two days, or three. The uncertainty is not casual; it signals that the narrator's grip on time has loosened. They have forgotten to count the moons, a practice that appears to have been a way of marking the passage of time, and they now sleep in the car, a detail that suggests their living situation has become unstable.
The narrator's thoughts are fixed entirely on the “graveyard of stars,” an image that combines the vastness of the cosmos with death and burial. This fixation suggests a mind turned toward endings. The chapter then shifts to a declaration: “I think tomorrow is the day.” The narrator plans to walk away, to the Walmart, and disappear. The chapter closes on this intention, leaving the reader with the narrator's resolve to leave their current circumstances behind through an act of self-erasure.
Key Events
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The narrator reveals they cannot tell whether Sani has been gone for one, two, or three days.
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The narrator has stopped counting the moons, indicating a loss of their timekeeping ritual.
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The narrator now sleeps in the car, suggesting physical displacement.
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The narrator's thoughts are consumed by the “graveyard of stars.”
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The narrator decides that “tomorrow is the day” and plans to walk to the Walmart.
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The narrator intends to disappear.
Character Development
The narrator's state in this chapter shows profound deterioration. The loss of timekeeping—forgetting to count the moons—suggests that a ritual that once anchored them has broken down. Time, which once had structure, has become a blur. Sleeping in the car indicates that even their physical circumstances have become unstable. The fixation on the “graveyard of stars” suggests a mind turned toward death and endings, and the decision to walk to the Walmart and disappear represents a shift from passive endurance to deliberate action—though the action is one of self-erasure rather than recovery or escape to somewhere better.
The chapter also reveals the narrator's relationship to Sani through absence. Sani's departure has left the narrator unmoored, and the narrator's inability to track time since Sani left suggests that Sani's presence was a kind of anchor. The plan to disappear may be read as a response to that loss, though the chapter does not explicitly state the narrator's motivation.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
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Isolation: The chapter title “Alone” names the narrator's condition directly. Sani's absence has left the narrator solitary, and the narrator's plan to disappear would deepen that isolation.
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Loss of time: The narrator's inability to count days and their abandonment of counting moons show that time itself has become meaningless. The breakdown of timekeeping mirrors the breakdown of the narrator's inner world.
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Cosmic imagery: The “graveyard of stars” is the chapter's central image. It merges the vastness of space with death and burial, suggesting that the narrator perceives their own situation in cosmic terms—as an ending of something vast.
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Disappearance: The plan to walk to the Walmart and disappear is the chapter's central action. The word “disappear” is stark and final, suggesting an erasure rather than a journey.
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Despair: The narrator's state throughout reflects deep despair, from the loss of timekeeping to the fixation on death imagery to the plan to vanish.
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Abandonment: Sani's absence and the narrator's plan to abandon their circumstances both point to abandonment as a central concern.
Why This Chapter Matters
This chapter marks a critical turning point in the narrative. The narrator moves from enduring their situation to planning an escape—though the escape is framed as disappearance rather than recovery. The brevity of the chapter mirrors the narrator's diminished state; the sparse language reflects a mind stripped down to its essentials. The decision to act “tomorrow” creates narrative tension and sets up whatever follows in the next chapter. The contrast between the cosmic “graveyard of stars” and the mundane “Walmart” is striking: the narrator's vast despair is grounded in an ordinary, everyday place, suggesting that even the most profound grief is lived out in mundane settings.
Study Questions and Answers
- What does the narrator's loss of timekeeping suggest about their mental state?
The narrator's inability to count days and their abandonment of counting moons suggest a breakdown of the structures that once organized their experience. Time has become meaningless, which points to profound disorientation and despair. The fact that the narrator cannot tell whether Sani has been gone for one, two, or three days underscores how completely their sense of order has collapsed.
- What might the “graveyard of stars” symbolize?
The image merges cosmic vastness with death and burial. It suggests the narrator's mind is turned toward endings and loss. The word “graveyard” implies that even the stars—often associated with permanence and guidance—are subject to death, which may reflect how the narrator perceives their own situation: as a kind of death or burial of hope.
- What is significant about the narrator's plan to walk to the Walmart and disappear?
The plan represents a shift from passive suffering to deliberate action, but the action is one of self-erasure. The mundane setting of a Walmart contrasts sharply with the cosmic imagery that precedes it, grounding the narrator's despair in an ordinary, everyday place. The plan also raises questions about what “disappearing” means in this context—whether it is a literal plan or a metaphor for giving up.
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