Chapter 22: Summary, Themes, and Character Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

In the aftermath of her father's death, Maddie receives a sympathy card and flowers from her work colleagues, led by Penny. The gesture is kind, but it contrasts sharply with the silence from Ben, who doesn't text her that night. Alone in bed, Maddie replays their relationship and begins to see the warning signs she had ignored—the lack of effort, the casual treatment, the way he kept her at arm's length. She reflects on how she had always wanted to receive flowers, and now they've arrived only because of a tragedy and because Ben's infidelity has been exposed.

The next morning, more flowers and gifts pile up on the dining table, but Maddie avoids them. She reaches out to her friends Shu and Nia, who both come over to support her. It's the first time the two meet, and their dynamic is awkward but warm. Shu immediately criticizes Ben, having looked him up on Facebook and found him still active—a red flag in her book. Nia gently steers the conversation toward how Maddie is feeling. Maddie admits she didn't love Ben the way she thought she did, but she loved feeling wanted. Shu finds Sophie's Instagram and points out that Sophie is white, with features that Ben apparently prefers. Nia and Shu explain that Ben's behavior—giving Sophie jewelry, boat rides, and family introductions while giving Maddie only pasta at his house—reflects a racial bias, even if Ben isn't consciously aware of it. They argue that Ben is not just non-racist but actively anti-racist, and that he failed to see Maddie as an equal partner.

Maddie is initially resistant to the idea, but Nia's words sink in: Maddie is worth just as much as Sophie. Maddie then confesses that she hated sex with Ben but went along with it because she thought it meant he loved her. Nia and Shu are horrified, and they explain that enduring sex isn't love—love is trust, commitment, empathy, and respect. They tell her that some lessons have to be learned through experience.

Just then, the doorbell rings. Ben has arrived to apologize. Shu answers the door and makes her disdain clear, calling him a dickhead and insisting he use Maddie's full name. Ben and Maddie talk in the kitchen. Ben offers a half-hearted apology, but Maddie confronts him directly: she calls out the double standard in how he treated her versus Sophie, and she reveals that sex with him was painful and unpleasant. She also points out that he assumed she was lying about being a virgin because she'd mentioned taking the pill for period pain. Ben is defensive and tries to play the victim, but Maddie stands her ground and tells him to leave. After he's gone, Shu and Nia comfort her, and Nia agrees to stay overnight.

Later that afternoon, Maddie has a dentist appointment. While thinking about the train schedule, she experiences what appears to be a panic attack: her heart races, she feels dizzy, nauseous, and ends up on all fours, convinced she might die. She texts Shu, who suggests it might be related to her father's death, but Maddie dismisses it. The next day, Nia takes her on a bike ride along the river. The physical exertion and concentration help clear her mind, and they enjoy a simple afternoon together. That night, Maddie searches online for panic attack symptoms, reading forum posts that offer conflicting advice. Before bed, she kneels and prays, asking God not to let her die, and reminding Him of her church attendance.

Key Events

Maddie receives a sympathy card and flowers from her work team, but Ben doesn't contact her.
More flowers and gifts arrive the next morning, which Maddie avoids.
Shu and Nia come over to support Maddie; they meet for the first time.
Shu finds Sophie's Instagram and points out that Ben treated Sophie differently.
Nia and Shu explain that Ben's behavior reflects racial bias and microaggressions.
Maddie admits she hated sex with Ben but went along with it.
Ben arrives to apologize; Maddie confronts him about his treatment of her and tells him to leave.
Maddie experiences a panic attack before her dentist appointment.
Nia takes Maddie on a bike ride to help her decompress.
Maddie researches panic attack symptoms online and prays before bed.

Character Development

Maddie undergoes significant growth in this chapter. She moves from a place of self-doubt and rationalization to a clearer understanding of her own worth. Initially, she tries to excuse Ben's behavior, wondering if she's overreacting. But with her friends' support, she begins to see the pattern of neglect and disrespect. Her confrontation with Ben is a turning point: she speaks her truth, names the pain, and refuses to accept a hollow apology. She also starts to recognize her own complicity in enduring sex she didn't want, and she begins to question what love really means. Her panic attack and subsequent prayer show her vulnerability and her struggle to process grief and trauma.

Shu and Nia serve as catalysts for Maddie's awakening. Shu is blunt and protective, using humor to deflect pain but also offering sharp insights. Nia is more gentle and analytical, providing a framework for understanding Ben's racism. Together, they model what true friendship looks like: showing up, cleaning, feeding, and speaking hard truths. They also demonstrate that love is an action, not just a feeling.

Ben is revealed as a man who is comfortable with his privilege and unwilling to do the work of being an anti-racist partner. His apology is self-serving, and he deflects blame. His comment about Maddie's hair and his assumption about her virginity expose his shallow, biased thinking. He represents the kind of person who dates across racial lines without acknowledging the power dynamics at play.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Grief and Loss: Maddie's grief over her father's death is compounded by the betrayal of Ben. The flowers that arrive are a symbol of sympathy, but they also highlight the emptiness of performative gestures.
Betrayal and Infidelity: Ben's cheating is not just a personal betrayal but a reflection of his deeper failure to value Maddie as an equal.
Racism and Microaggressions: Nia and Shu's conversation about Ben's behavior introduces the concept of microaggressions and the difference between being non-racist and actively anti-racist. The pasta versus jewelry comparison is a powerful symbol of unequal investment.
Self-Worth and Validation: Maddie's journey is about learning to see herself as worthy of love and respect, independent of Ben's approval.
Friendship and Support: Shu and Nia's presence shows the importance of a chosen family, especially in times of crisis.
Panic Attacks and Mental Health: Maddie's panic attack is a physical manifestation of her unresolved stress and grief. Her online research and prayer reveal her struggle to cope.

Why This Chapter Matters

Chapter 22 is a pivotal moment in Maddie's emotional arc. It marks the end of her relationship with Ben and the beginning of her self-reclamation. The chapter also deepens the novel's exploration of race and dating, showing how systemic bias can operate in intimate relationships. Maddie's friends provide a counter-narrative to her self-blame, and her panic attack introduces a new layer of vulnerability that will likely be explored further. This chapter is essential for understanding Maddie's growth and the themes that drive the rest of the novel.

Study Questions and Answers

How do Shu and Nia help Maddie reframe her understanding of Ben's behavior?

They point out that Ben's preferential treatment of Sophie—gifts, outings, family introductions—versus his minimal effort with Maddie is not just a personal failing but a reflection of racial bias. They explain that Ben may not be consciously racist, but his actions reveal a lack of anti-racist commitment. They also emphasize that Maddie's worth is not diminished by his choices.

What does Maddie's confession about sex reveal about her state of mind?

Maddie admits she hated sex with Ben but went along with it because she craved the feeling of being wanted. This reveals her low self-esteem and her mistaken belief that enduring discomfort was a way to earn love. It also highlights the importance of consent and the need for mutual desire in a healthy relationship.

Why does Maddie experience a panic attack before her dentist appointment?

The panic attack is likely triggered by the accumulation of stress from her father's death, the breakup with Ben, and the emotional confrontation. The dentist appointment, though trivial, becomes a tipping point. Maddie's physical symptoms—racing heart, dizziness, nausea—are classic signs of a panic attack, and her subsequent research and prayer show her trying to make sense of this new experience.

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