The Engagement Ring in Hell Followed With Us: A Symbol of Forced Betrothal and Liberation
The Engagement Ring: A Symbol of Forced Betrothal and Liberation
In Andrew Joseph White's Hell Followed With Us, the engagement ring is a small, physical object that carries an outsized weight of meaning. It is not a token of romantic devotion but a brand of ownership, a marker of the Angels' control over Benji's body, identity, and future. The ring's journey through the novel—from its forced placement on Benji's finger to its final, strange resting place—charts his struggle to break free from a past that threatens to consume him. By tracing the ring's appearances, we can see how a piece of metal becomes a symbol of both the oppressive system Benji flees and the complicated, painful love that binds him to it.
What the Ring Literally Is
The engagement ring is a piece of jewelry given to Benji by Theo, his betrothed, when they are both fifteen years old. The circumstances of the proposal are not romantic. As Benji recalls, his mother caught him and Theo having sex, and she gave them an ultimatum: get engaged or be cast out of the family. The choice was obvious, and Theo proposed the next day. The ring, therefore, is not a symbol of mutual desire but of a coerced commitment designed to contain Benji's sexuality and enforce his role as a future wife within the Angels' patriarchal structure. It is a physical manifestation of the church's demand that Benji submit to a husband, a demand rooted in scripture like Colossians 3:18—"Wives, submit to your husbands"—which Benji remembers in the midst of his confrontation with Theo.
The ring is also a marker of Benji's deadname and assigned gender. It is given to him as "Esther," the reverend mother's daughter, not as Benji, the boy he knows himself to be. The ring is thus a constant, tangible reminder that the Angels see him not as a person but as a vessel for their plans: a wife, a mother, and eventually, a weapon.
The Ring as a Tool of Control
From the moment it is placed on his finger, the ring functions as a tool of the Angels' control. It is a public declaration of Benji's subservience, a signal to the community that he is spoken for and that his body belongs to another. The engagement ceremony itself, which includes readings from Sister Kimberly Jones's marriage manual A Biblical Love, is designed to "hammer home" Benji's place as a wife. Benji's mother reads a passage about faith and loyalty, framing marriage as a duty to God and husband, a lesson meant to "beat the boy out of" him.
The ring also serves as a leash in Benji's relationship with Theo. Even after Theo hurts him—slamming him against a wall and squeezing his wrists so tightly Benji thinks they will break—Benji remains bound to him. The ring is a reminder of the love he still feels, a love that is tangled up with fear and obligation. When Benji flees New Nazareth with his father, he takes the ring off, but he does so only after wearing it for hours after Theo's violence. He leaves it in a little box by Theo's dorm, a deliberate act of rejection, but the physical absence of the ring does not immediately free him from its psychological grip.
The Ring as a Marker of Trauma
Throughout the novel, Benji's body remembers the ring even when it is not there. He repeatedly digs his nail into the place where the ring used to be, a nervous, unconscious gesture that surfaces at moments of stress. When Nick gives him bobby pins to keep his hair out of his face, Benji's mind flashes to the ring. When he is with the Watch, trying to fit in, he digs his nail into his ring finger to ground himself. This physical tic reveals that the ring's absence is as powerful as its presence. The scar of its removal is a constant reminder of the trauma of his forced betrothal and the identity he was forced to perform.
The ring is also tied to Benji's sense of shame and self-disgust. He is disgusted with himself for still loving Theo, for missing him, for wanting to kiss him even after the violence. The ring is a symbol of that conflicted love, a love that the Angels twisted into a tool of control. When Theo reveals that he kept the ring, Benji immediately pulls away, saying, "I don't want to talk about it." The ring is not a source of comfort but of pain, a reminder of a past he is trying to escape.
The Ring as a Symbol of Reclamation
The ring's final appearance in the novel transforms its meaning. After the battle at New Nazareth, Benji finds Theo's body. He creates a small creature from Theo's remains, pulling together the Flood from his corpse and sewing it into a new form. Then, he pulls his engagement ring from the dirt and fits it into the creature's little palm. This act is not one of romantic devotion but of reclamation. Benji takes the symbol of his forced betrothal and repurposes it, giving it to a being of his own creation. The ring, once a mark of ownership, becomes a gift freely given. It is a way for Benji to honor the love he felt for Theo while also acknowledging that the relationship was broken and wrong. The creature stays by Benji, a new kind of companion, and the ring becomes a symbol of the future Benji is building for himself, one not defined by the Angels' expectations.
This final act also represents a form of liberation. By placing the ring in the creature's palm, Benji is letting go of the past. He is no longer bound to Theo or to the role the ring represented. He is free to define himself on his own terms, as a boy, as a survivor, as a member of the Watch. The ring, once a symbol of his entrapment, becomes a symbol of his release.
Character and Theme Connections
The engagement ring is deeply connected to the novel's central themes of identity and self-definition, religious trauma and weaponized faith, and dehumanization and survival. The ring is a tool of the Angels' religious patriarchy, a way to enforce gender roles and control bodies. It is also a symbol of the dehumanization Benji experiences, reducing him to a wife and a vessel for Seraph. His struggle to remove the ring and redefine its meaning is a struggle for self-definition and survival.
The ring also connects to the theme of found family and queer community. The Watch, unlike the Angels, does not seek to control Benji. They accept him as he is, and it is within this community that he begins to heal. The ring's final transformation, from a symbol of forced betrothal to a gift for a creature of his own making, reflects Benji's movement from a world of coercion to a world of chosen kinship.
Finally, the ring is a key element of Benji's relationship with Theo. It is a symbol of their love, but also of the violence and control that corrupted it. Theo's decision to keep the ring suggests his own inability to let go of the past, while Benji's decision to repurpose it shows his growth. The ring is a physical object that holds the entire history of their relationship, from its coerced beginning to its violent end.
Study Questions
1. How does the engagement ring function as a symbol of the Angels' control over Benji's body and identity?
The ring is a physical marker of Benji's assigned role as a wife. It is given to him as part of a coerced engagement, designed to contain his sexuality and enforce his submission to a husband. The ring is also tied to his deadname, "Esther," and is a constant reminder that the Angels see him not as a boy but as a vessel for their plans. By wearing the ring, Benji is publicly declaring his subservience to Theo and to the church's patriarchal structure.
2. Why does Benji continue to dig his nail into his ring finger even after he has removed the ring?
This gesture is a physical manifestation of his trauma. The ring's absence is as powerful as its presence, and the scar of its removal is a constant reminder of the forced betrothal and the identity he was forced to perform. The gesture surfaces at moments of stress, when Benji is reminded of his past or feels uncertain about his future. It is a way for his body to remember what his mind is trying to escape.
3. What does Theo's decision to keep the ring reveal about his character?
Theo's decision to keep the ring suggests his inability to let go of the past and his hope for reconciliation. He tells Benji, "I kept the ring," as a way of proving his love and his desire to be with him again. However, the ring is also a symbol of the control and violence that defined their relationship. Theo's attachment to it reveals his own entanglement in the Angels' worldview, even as he tries to break free from it.
4. How does Benji's final act of placing the ring in the creature's palm transform its meaning?
By placing the ring in the creature's palm, Benji reclaims the symbol of his forced betrothal and repurposes it. The ring, once a mark of ownership, becomes a gift freely given to a being of his own creation. This act represents Benji's liberation from the past and his ability to define his own future. It is a way for him to honor the love he felt for Theo while also acknowledging that the relationship was broken and wrong. The ring becomes a symbol of the new life Benji is building for himself, one not defined by the Angels' expectations.