Chapter 66 Summary: Remember When I Didn't Have the Answer?
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
Chapter 66, “Remember When I Didn’t Have the Answer?,” opens with the narrator caught in a moment of pretense. When Angel looks at something, the narrator claims not to know what she is looking at—but she is pretending. She quickly covers her uncertainty by shooting a defensive look at Angel, a look meant to protect Lay Li.
Angel’s reaction is immediate and visible. Her eyes drop to her shoes—shell-toed sneakers with a faded label—and her smile fades, sinking as if the room is spinning and she might be sick. The narrator then feels sick herself, because she recognizes that she had a chance to act differently in this moment, but instead of being loyal to herself, she chose to be loyal to Lay Li.
The narrator reflects on her mother’s observation that she has a “mean mug” when things aren’t going her way. She has perfected this expression over time, using it as a protective mask. It is what she wears when she walks home alone, when she is on the basketball court, when Essa talks slick, and now when Lay Li says someone is bothering her.
As Angel walks past, the boys turn their heads to look at her. The narrator observes that Angel is pretty like Lay Li, but unlike Lay Li, Angel acts as if she does not know she is pretty.
Key Events
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The narrator pretends to know what Angel is looking at, claiming ignorance while actually covering for Lay Li
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Angel’s eyes drop to her shell-toed sneakers and her smile fades, signaling hurt
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The narrator feels sick, recognizing she had a chance to act differently but chose loyalty to Lay Li over loyalty to herself
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The narrator recalls her mother’s comment about her “mean mug” and explains how she has perfected it as a protective tool
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The narrator lists the situations where she wears this mask: walking home alone, playing basketball, when Essa talks slick, and now when Lay Li says someone is bothering her
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Angel walks past and the boys turn their heads
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The narrator contrasts Angel with Lay Li, noting Angel’s beauty and her apparent unawareness of it
Character Development
Skyy (the narrator): This chapter reveals a crucial internal conflict. Skyy is self-aware enough to recognize that she had a chance to act differently—to be loyal to herself—but she chose instead to defend Lay Li. Her guilt is immediate and physical: she feels sick. The chapter also deepens our understanding of her “mean mug” as a deliberate, perfected tool she uses to protect her friends, not just a reflexive expression of anger. This suggests a pattern of self-sacrifice in her relationships.
Angel: Though she appears briefly, Angel’s reaction is significant. Her eyes dropping to her shoes and her smile fading suggest she is hurt by the exchange. The detail that she is pretty but acts like she does not know it sets her apart from Lay Li and hints at a different kind of character—perhaps more humble or less performative.
Lay Li: She is referenced as the person the narrator is defending, and as someone who says someone is bothering her. The contrast with Angel suggests Lay Li may be more aware of her own beauty or more willing to use it.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
Pretense: The chapter’s title—“Remember When I Didn’t Have the Answer?”—points directly to the narrator’s pretense. She does not know the answer, but she pretends quickly, and that pretense has consequences.
Loyalty vs. self-betrayal: The narrator’s central conflict is between loyalty to Lay Li and loyalty to herself. She recognizes the choice she made and feels sick about it, suggesting she knows she betrayed herself.
The protective mask: The “mean mug” is a recurring motif. It is a tool the narrator wears in various situations—walking home alone, playing basketball, when Essa talks slick, and now when Lay Li says someone is bothering her. It is a shield she uses to protect her friends, but it may also be a way of hiding her own feelings.
Guilt: The narrator’s physical reaction—feeling sick—is a direct response to her choice. It signals that she is aware of the cost of her loyalty.
Contrast between friends: The comparison between Angel and Lay Li is explicit. Both are pretty, but Angel acts like she does not know it, while Lay Li’s behavior (claiming someone is bothering her) suggests a different relationship with her own appearance.
Why This Chapter Matters
This chapter is a turning point in Skyy’s self-awareness. She recognizes, in real time, that she is making a choice she will regret—choosing loyalty to Lay Li over loyalty to herself. The chapter also establishes the “mean mug” as a significant motif, showing how Skyy has developed a protective exterior that she deploys in various contexts. The contrast between Angel and Lay Li introduces a new character dynamic and hints at tensions to come. The chapter’s title, framed as a memory (“Remember When I Didn’t Have the Answer?”), suggests that this moment will be revisited later in the narrative, making it a key reference point for Skyy’s growth.
Study Questions and Answers
1. Why does the narrator feel sick after defending Lay Li?
The narrator feels sick because she recognizes that she had a chance to act differently—to be loyal to herself—but instead chose to be loyal to Lay Li. Her physical reaction signals guilt and self-awareness. She knows she made the wrong choice, and her body responds to that knowledge.
2. What does the “mean mug” represent for the narrator?
The “mean mug” is a protective mask the narrator has perfected. Her mother noticed it, and the narrator explains that she wears it in various situations: walking home alone, playing basketball, when Essa talks slick, and now when Lay Li says someone is bothering her. It is a tool she uses to protect her friends, but it also suggests a pattern of suppressing her own feelings in favor of defending others.
3. How does the contrast between Angel and Lay Li function in this chapter?
The contrast is explicit: both are pretty, but Angel acts like she does not know it, while Lay Li’s behavior suggests she is more aware of her own beauty. This contrast also highlights the narrator’s different relationships with the two characters—she defends Lay Li, while Angel is the one who is hurt by the exchange. The contrast sets up potential character dynamics and may foreshadow future conflicts.