Chapter 2: & This Is Why I Think — Study Guide and Summary
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
The chapter opens with the speaker declaring that the girl in question has no sense. She observes that only girls considered “fast” are interested in Curtis, yet Curtis keeps the girl’s name close, and the girl no longer returns home the same way she used to. The speaker believes the girl thinks she is attractive while implying the speaker is not. She compares the girl to a string of celebrities—Zendaya, Skai Jackson, Storm Reid, Megan Thee Stallion, Nicki Minaj, Beyoncé—and describes her as perfect in appearance: long curly hair, manicured pink nails, new clothes from Macy’s and Adidas shell-toe sneakers, a glossy magazine cover look. The speaker imagines the girl never has bad days, never takes a bad photo, and lives a life free of judgment because she is so perfect.
The speaker then shifts to her own frustration. She resents being kept waiting, as if she were waiting on Curtis. She expresses hatred for Curtis, who is light-skinned and not as funny as he believes himself to be. She recalls that Curtis calls her black, ugly, and stupid. The chapter ends with that painful memory, leaving the speaker’s anger and hurt exposed.
Key Events
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The speaker asserts that the girl has no sense and that only “fast girls” are interested in Curtis.
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The speaker notes that Curtis keeps the girl’s name close and that the girl has changed—she doesn’t come home the same way anymore.
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The speaker compares the girl to celebrities and lists her perfect physical attributes, including long curly hair, manicured nails, new clothes, and a magazine-cover appearance.
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The speaker describes the girl as someone who never has bad days or bad photos and lives without judgment.
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The speaker expresses resentment at being kept waiting, as if she were waiting on Curtis.
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The speaker declares hatred for Curtis, calling him light-skinned and not as funny as he thinks.
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The speaker recalls Curtis calling her black, ugly, and stupid.
Character Development
The Speaker: This chapter reveals the speaker’s deep insecurities and her internalized sense of inferiority. She measures herself against the girl’s perceived perfection and feels neglected and devalued. Her anger toward Curtis is rooted in his verbal abuse, which targets her skin color and appearance. The speaker’s voice is raw and defensive, showing a young person struggling with self-esteem and social acceptance.
The Girl: Though not named, the girl is presented as an idealized figure—beautiful, fashionable, and seemingly flawless. She serves as a foil to the speaker, embodying the beauty standards that the speaker feels she cannot meet. The girl’s changed behavior (not coming home the same way) hints at a shifting identity, possibly influenced by her relationship with Curtis.
Curtis: Curtis is portrayed as arrogant and cruel. He is light-skinned, a detail that ties into colorism, and he uses his perceived social status to insult the speaker. His humor is described as overrated, and his verbal attacks reveal a pattern of emotional abuse.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
Beauty Standards and Perfectionism: The speaker’s litany of the girl’s perfect attributes—long curly hair, manicured nails, new clothes, magazine-cover looks—highlights the unrealistic and narrow standards of beauty that the speaker feels pressured by. The repetition of “perfect” underscores the unattainable ideal.
Colorism: Curtis’s light skin is mentioned with disdain, and his insult calling the speaker “black” suggests that colorism is at play. The speaker’s hatred of Curtis is tied to his skin tone and the privilege it may grant him.
Self-Esteem and Social Judgment: The speaker’s internal monologue reveals her low self-worth. She believes the girl thinks she is cute while the speaker is not, and she feels judged by others. The girl’s supposed life “don’t nobody judge” contrasts with the speaker’s own experience of being judged.
Materialism: The references to Macy’s, Adidas shell toes, and nail salons tie the girl’s perfection to consumer goods, suggesting that worth is measured by material possessions.
Verbal Abuse: Curtis’s insults—“black, ugly, stupid”—are a form of verbal abuse that directly attacks the speaker’s identity. This motif recurs and shapes the speaker’s self-perception.
Comparison and Neglect: The speaker constantly compares herself to the girl, and she feels neglected as she waits, as if she were waiting on Curtis. This sense of being overlooked fuels her resentment.
Changing Identity: The girl “don’t come home the same way no more,” indicating a transformation that the speaker notices and perhaps fears. This motif hints at how relationships and social pressures can alter a person.
Why This Chapter Matters
This chapter establishes the speaker’s internal conflict and the social pressures that define her world. It introduces the central triangle—the speaker, the girl, and Curtis—and sets up the emotional stakes for the rest of the novel. The speaker’s raw anger and hurt give readers insight into her vulnerability and the systemic issues of colorism and beauty standards that she navigates. The chapter also foreshadows the speaker’s journey toward self-acceptance, as she begins to articulate the pain caused by others’ judgments.
Study Questions and Answers
1. How does the speaker’s description of the girl reveal her own insecurities?
The speaker’s description of the girl as “perfect” in every way—long curly hair, manicured nails, new clothes, magazine-cover looks—shows that she measures herself against an unattainable standard. By listing these attributes, the speaker implicitly contrasts them with her own perceived flaws. Her belief that the girl thinks she is cute while the speaker is not demonstrates her low self-esteem and her internalization of societal beauty norms.
2. What role does colorism play in the speaker’s feelings toward Curtis?
The speaker explicitly mentions Curtis’s light skin and says she hates him for it. This hatred is compounded by his verbal abuse, where he calls her “black” as an insult. The chapter suggests that Curtis’s light skin gives him social capital, which he uses to demean the speaker. The speaker’s anger is not just at Curtis’s personality but at the colorist system that values lighter skin over darker skin.
3. Why does the speaker feel like she is “waiting on Curtis”?
The speaker says she is kept waiting “like I’m supposed to wait on Curtis,” which implies that she feels secondary to the girl and Curtis’s relationship. She resents being put in a position of waiting, as if her own needs and time are less important. This feeling of neglect ties into her broader sense of being overlooked and undervalued by those around her.
Navigation
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