Themes The Surrogate Mother Freida McFadden

Trust and Paranoia in The Surrogate Mother: Abby’s Eroding Certainty

The Thematic Claim: Trust as a Trap

In The Surrogate Mother, Freida McFadden presents trust not as a virtue but as a vulnerability. The novel argues that trust, when placed in the wrong hands, can become a weapon used against the person who gives it. Abby Adler begins the story confident in her marriage, her career, and her judgment of people. By the end, every pillar of that confidence has been shaken. Paranoia, in this framework, is not irrational fear but a reasonable response to a world where everyone — a husband, an assistant, a best friend — may be hiding something. The theme operates as a slow-burn unraveling: Abby does not suddenly become paranoid; she is pushed toward it by a series of small, plausible betrayals that accumulate into an unbearable weight of doubt.

Three Stages of Erosion

Stage One: The Foundation of Trust

Early in the novel, Abby expresses absolute faith in her husband, Sam, and her assistant, Monica. When Abby's mother warns her not to trust men — especially Sam — Abby pushes back firmly: "I can trust Sam." Her mother retorts, "Especially not Sam," but Abby dismisses this as cynicism. She also tells Shelley that she trusts Monica as much as she trusts herself. This initial confidence is the novel's set-up: Abby is surrounded by people who love her, and she believes their intentions are pure. The foundation seems solid.

Yet even here, the cracks are visible. Abby's mother calls Sam untrustworthy. Shelley warns Monica may be listening at doors. Abby herself admits she is "investigating" Monica's background, though she frames it as thoroughness. The trust is real, but it is also fragile because it depends on Abby ignoring the warnings others give her.

Stage Two: The Slow Cracks Appear

As the surrogate arrangement progresses, Abby begins noticing small but disturbing changes. Monica sits in the front seat of Sam's car. She calls him "Sammy." She texts him regularly about math papers, despite having previously shown no interest in mathematics. Sam, who once never refused sex, begins turning Abby down. Abby lies awake at night staring at Sam's phone, tempted to check his messages. She does not — yet — but the urge itself signals that trust has begun to erode.

The paranoia escalates when Abby misses an ultrasound appointment. Monica told her the wrong time, or so it seems. Shelley suggests Monica may have manipulated the calendar deliberately: change the appointment time, let Abby record it wrong, then swap it back. Abby rejects the idea as too diabolical, but the seed is planted. She starts changing her phone password. She watches Monica more closely. The trust is no longer automatic; it requires effort to maintain.

The emotional low point of this stage is Chapter 19, where Abby cannot sleep and Sam refuses her sexual advances. She paces the bedroom, wondering if his rejection signals infidelity. She thinks, "Sam isn't interested in sex with his wife. Isn't that a sign of another woman in his life?" She does not check his phone, but she lies in bed staring at it. The scene perfectly captures the theme: Abby's trust is still intact in action, but it has already collapsed in spirit.

Stage Three: Collapse and Revelation

The final stage comes when Abby speaks to Monica's stepmother, Louise Johnson. The woman reveals that Monica has borderline personality disorder, that she takes multiple medications, and that her high school best friend Sandy died under suspicious circumstances — found floating in the Charles River after a fight over a boy. Abby runs to the bathroom and dry-heaves. She realizes she invited a person with a history of violence to carry her child. The trust she placed in Monica was not merely misplaced; it was exploited.

This revelation reframes everything that came before. Monica's offer to be a surrogate was not generosity but strategy. Her interest in math was not organic but designed to bond with Sam. The missed appointments and calendar errors were not accidents but manipulations. Abby's paranoia was not irrational — it was the only rational response to a situation she did not fully understand.

Character Connections to Trust and Paranoia

Every major character in the novel serves as a test of Abby's trust.

  • Abby Adler is the point of view through whom trust is tested. She wants to believe the best in people, and that desire makes her vulnerable. Her arc is a movement from trusting others to trusting only herself, and even that becomes uncertain by the prologue, where she questions whether she committed murder without remembering it.

  • Sam Adler is the figure Abby wants to trust most and the one who causes her the most doubt. His texts with Monica, his changed behavior, and his refusal of sex all feed her paranoia. Yet in the climax, he chooses to shield Abby from a bullet, suggesting his loyalty was never the issue. The novel leaves open the question of whether Abby's suspicion of him was entirely unfounded or whether his behavior genuinely invited it.

  • Monica Johnson is the architect of Abby's paranoia. She presents herself as helpful and selfless, but her actions are calculated to isolate Abby and replace her. Her obsession with Sam, her manipulation of Abby's schedule, and her eventual violence all confirm that Abby's distrust was justified — but only after it was too late.

  • Shelley and Abby's mother serve as voices of warning. Both tell Abby not to trust Monica. Both are dismissed. Their presence in the story reinforces the theme that paranoia can look like good judgment in retrospect.

Symbols of Suspicion

Several symbols in the novel carry the weight of trust and paranoia.

The pregnancy test represents the hope that trust can be rewarded. When Monica becomes pregnant, Abby believes her faith is validated. But the test also becomes a symbol of deception, because the pregnancy binds Abby to Monica in a way that makes betrayal more damaging.

The letter opener is a tool of violence turned into a tool of survival. Abby uses a sharp radiator edge to free herself when bound, echoing the letter opener's duality: objects meant for ordinary use can become weapons when trust fails.

The baby's heartbeat recording represents the emotional bond Abby forms with the unborn child. That bond is real, but it is also a leash Monica uses to keep Abby invested. The heartbeat is a promise of life and a threat of loss simultaneously.

The childhood blanket in the epilogue is the novel's final statement on trust. Abby plans to discard it, but her son David becomes inconsolable, begging for it. He buries his face in the scent of Monica's perfume. The blanket carries Monica's legacy, showing that even after her defeat, her influence cannot be erased. Abby must live with the knowledge that the woman who tried to destroy her family will always be present in her child's life.

Complexity and Contradiction

The theme is not straightforward. McFadden complicates trust and paranoia in several ways.

First, Abby's paranoia is both justified and dangerous. It is justified because Monica is, in fact, a violent manipulator. But it is also dangerous because it drives Abby to question her husband, who ultimately proves loyal. The novel suggests that paranoia can be accurate but still destructive.

Second, the prologue introduces the possibility that Abby herself committed murder. If she did, then her trust in her own memory is as unreliable as her trust in others. The novel never fully resolves this ambiguity, leaving the reader to wonder whether Abby's paranoia was a rational response to external threats or a symptom of her own instability.

Third, the characters who warn Abby — her mother and Shelley — are not entirely trustworthy themselves. Abby's mother is openly hostile to Sam. Shelley, while loyal, delights in gossip and speculation. The novel implies that trust is never pure; even well-meaning advice carries the agenda of the person giving it.

Study Questions and Answers

1. How does Abby's conversation with her mother in Chapter 13 establish the theme of trust?

Abby insists she can trust Sam, and her mother flatly rejects this, saying "you can't trust men. None of them." The argument reveals that Abby's trust is emotionally driven rather than evidence-based. She trusts Sam because she loves him, not because she has proof of his fidelity. Her mother's cynicism, though harsh, turns out to be closer to the truth than Abby's optimism — at least regarding Monica's intentions.

2. What role does Shelley play in the erosion of Abby's trust?

Shelley both validates and inflames Abby's doubts. She warns Abby that Monica may be listening at doors and suggests she is changing the appointment times in Abby's calendar. Shelley also reminds Abby that Sam's attractiveness makes him a target. However, Shelley offers no proof for her claims. She operates on instinct, and her influence pushes Abby toward paranoia without providing clarity.

3. How does Sam's refusal of sex in Chapter 19 function as a turning point?

Sam's rejection is unprecedented in Abby's experience. She interprets it as evidence of infidelity, though Sam explains it as exhaustion. The refusal causes Abby to lie awake staring at his phone, tempted to invade his privacy. This moment marks the transition from trust as a choice to paranoia as a compulsion. Abby no longer trusts Sam's words; she needs to verify them.

4. What does the childhood blanket reveal about the limits of trust in the epilogue?

The blanket shows that trust cannot be imposed by force of will. Abby wants to discard Monica's legacy, but her son David clings to the blanket, drawn to Monica's scent. Trust, in this final image, is not a decision but a reaction. David trusts what he senses, not what he is told. Abby cannot control her son's instincts any more than she could control Monica's manipulation.

5. Is Abby's paranoia ultimately justified by the novel's events?

Partially. Abby is right to distrust Monica: Monica is a violent stalker with a history of harming those who threaten her desires. But Abby's suspicion of Sam is never confirmed. He remains loyal, shields her from a bullet, and raises their son with her. The novel leaves open the possibility that Abby's paranoia, while understandable, may have been misdirected. The answer is complex: justified in outcome, but not in every target.