Sam Adler Character Analysis in The Surrogate Mother
Overview
Sam Adler is Abby Adler's husband and a math professor at a university in New York. In The Surrogate Mother, Sam occupies an ambiguous space: loving husband, potential conspirator, and ultimately a victim of Monica Johnson's obsession. His growing closeness to the surrogate, Monica, raises questions about his loyalty and possible participation in the conspiracy that nearly destroys Abby. By the end, Sam emerges as a protector who recommits to his marriage, but not before the story tests every assumption about his character.
Plot Role
Sam first appears in the Prologue as a silent presence during Abby's meeting with her lawyer Robert Frisch. He avoids her eyes as Frisch urges a plea bargain for first-degree murder. That stillness—watching rather than acting—defines much of his early role.
In the early chapters, Sam is the more cautious partner. He insists on full background checks, medical records, and interviews with Monica before agreeing to surrogacy. He prepares a list of questions, reviews medical documents, and wants to hire a private investigator. This methodical approach makes him seem like a rational safeguard compared to Abby's emotional urgency. The evidence shows Sam initially suggested adopting a toddler instead of using a surrogate, and Abby had to argue him into agreeing to surrogacy.
Midway through the novel, Sam's alignment shifts. By Chapter 27, he and Monica present Abby with an ultimatum: enter inpatient drug rehab or Monica will end the adoption. When Abby claims Monica slipped drugs into her coffee and stole her keys, Sam dismisses the theory as paranoia. He privately presses Abby for the truth, then leaves for work, declaring the child is his and he will not abandon it. Here Sam becomes an unwitting instrument of Monica's psychological pressure on Abby.
The critical revelation comes in Chapter 34, when Monica's stepmother tells Abby that Monica had an affair with a married math professor named Sam three years earlier. Abby reinterprets every past event—the failed adoption, fake background checks, drugging, and the letter-opener framing—as a coordinated plot with Sam at its center. For the reader, Sam becomes suspect.
But the climax subverts that suspicion. In Chapter 40, Monica holds Sam at gunpoint. She reveals she was his student three years ago and became obsessed after he rejected her. Sam refuses her advances. When he learns Monica poisoned Abby, he lunges to protect his wife and is shot in the arm. He shields Abby and declares his choice. A third gunshot ends the standoff—Monica shoots herself after Gertie's death.
In the Epilogue, set one year later, Sam and Abby raise their son David. Sam gives baths, prepares food, and shows genuine devotion. The police have cleared Abby of all suspicion in Denise Holt's murder. Monica remains alive but in a permanent vegetative state.
Motivations and Traits
Sam's primary motivation is his desire for a child. This abiding wish drives every major decision he makes. He is willing to pursue adoption, surrogacy, or any other path that leads to fatherhood. That desire makes him receptive to Monica's narrative of Abby's addiction and resistant to Abby's accusations. The evidence shows Sam believed he was protecting an innocent pregnancy rather than aiding a conspiracy.
His analytical nature is visible in his insistence on vetting Monica. He prepares a list of questions for her reference check, reviews her medical records, and wants to hire a private investigator. This methodical approach raises the question of how he could have missed Monica's past. The explanation lies in his emotional vulnerability: he wanted the surrogacy to work so badly that he accepted surface-level reassurances.
Sam also demonstrates genuine affection for Abby. Their anniversary date in Chapter 11 shows a couple with real warmth. Sam focuses entirely on Abby despite the waitress's obvious flirting. He holds Abby's hand while walking, a habit from their early dating days onward. The evidence describes how he cleaned out a drawer for her, made her a key, and proposed after only eighteen months because he saw no reason to wait.
Yet Sam has a blind side. He is not naturally suspicious. He trusts people until given clear reason not to. This trait makes him an easy target for Monica's careful performance. His failure is not malice but misplaced trust.
Chronological Arc
Sam's arc moves through four phases: devoted husband, reluctant participant in surrogacy, distant ally of Abby's accuser, and finally protector. The turning point comes in Chapter 34, when the affair with Monica is revealed to Abby. From that moment forward, Sam gradually becomes aware of the truth. His climactic choice to shield Abby from gunfire completes his arc.
Relationships
With Abby: Sam and Abby's marriage is presented as fundamentally loving, tested by infertility and later by Monica's interference. Sam believes in Abby but wavers under the weight of circumstantial evidence. The theme of trust and paranoia runs through their interactions, especially when Abby's mother warns her repeatedly against trusting Sam. The affair revelation fractures Abby's trust, yet Sam's actions in the climax restore it enough for them to rebuild.
With Monica: Sam had an affair with Monica when she was his student three years before the main story. He ended the relationship, but Monica never moved on. Her obsession turned the surrogacy arrangement into an elaborate scheme to reclaim him and eliminate Abby. Sam appears to have been unaware of Monica's continued fixation, believing their past was truly behind them. The evidence shows that in the climactic confrontation, Sam refuses Monica's advances, confirming that his feelings for her had ended.
With David: In the epilogue, Sam is a devoted father. He gives David baths, prepares baby food, and carries him around after bath time. His love for his son is genuine and unconditional.
Key Decisions and Consequences
Decision to agree to surrogacy: This decision allows Monica into the Adlers' lives directly. The consequence is nearly the destruction of Abby and Sam's marriage, and Abby's near-conviction for murder.
Decision to side with Monica against Abby: When Sam presents the drug rehab ultimatum and dismisses Abby's claims of being drugged, he deepens the conspiracy's grip. The consequence is Abby's isolation and near-total loss of agency.
Decision to protect Abby in the climax: Sam refuses Monica, lunges when he learns Abby was poisoned, and shields her from a bullet. The consequence is his injury but the preservation of their relationship. This choice redeems him in Abby's eyes.
Decision to stay and raise David: Sam and Abby choose to keep the baby despite his connection to Monica. The epilogue shows this decision has brought them genuine joy, though the final image of David clinging to Monica's blanket suggests unresolved emotional threads.
Themes and Symbol Connections
Sam is central to the theme of betrayal and deception. His hidden affair with Monica represents the most intimate betrayal a spouse can commit. The story forces Abby—and the reader—to question whether Sam's behavior during the conspiracy was deceit or naivety.
He also embodies the theme of gaslighting and false accusation. When Abby accuses Monica of drugging her, Sam dismisses her as paranoid and addicted. Because he is the person Abby trusts most, his dismissal carries greater weight. He becomes an unwitting participant in Monica's psychological manipulation.
Sam's arc connects to the theme of obsession and manipulation. Monica's obsession with him drives the entire plot. Sam is both the object of that obsession and the person least aware of its true scope.
The blanket in the epilogue functions as a symbol. Sam initially wants it thrown away, reacting with the same fear Abby feels toward Monica's memory. But when David becomes inconsolable without it, Sam supports Abby's decision to let their son keep it. This acceptance suggests that Sam has learned to trust Abby's judgment about what their family needs, even when it is uncomfortable.
Questions and Answers
1. Was Sam having an affair with Monica before the surrogacy arrangement?
Yes. Monica's stepmother reveals that three years earlier, Monica had an affair with a married math professor named Sam. The affair occurred during Monica's college years at the university where Sam teaches. The stepmother confirms this, identifying Sam by name. Monica became obsessed after the affair ended and never moved on.
2. Was Sam part of Monica's plot to frame Abby for murder?
The evidence strongly suggests no. Sam was not complicit in Monica's conspiracy. He behaves consistently throughout the novel as someone who believes Monica is a well-intentioned young woman. He is shocked to learn the full extent of her manipulation. His climactic refusal of Monica and his decision to shield Abby from a bullet confirm where his true loyalties lie.
3. Why did Sam believe Monica's story over Abby's accusations?
Three factors: Sam's desire for a child made him emotionally vulnerable to Monica's narrative. Second, Monica was a careful performer who presented herself as selfless and trustworthy. Third, Sam's analytical personality required clear evidence, and Abby could not produce any proof of her claims until late in the novel. The combination left Sam receptive to Monica's false narrative of Abby's addiction and paranoid behavior.
4. Did Sam truly love Abby, or was he using her?
The evidence suggests Sam genuinely loved Abby. His proposal story shows eagerness to commit. His anniversary behavior in Chapter 11 shows attentive affection. His determination to have a child with Abby, whether through adoption or surrogacy, demonstrates a desire to build a family with her specifically. The affair with Monica appears as a lapse, not a pattern. Sam's climactic choice to protect Abby from gunfire is the strongest evidence of genuine love.
5. How does Sam change between the beginning and the end of the novel?
Sam begins as a loving but somewhat passive husband who avoids conflict. He shares Abby's desire for a child but defers to her preferences. By the end, he has learned to act decisively. He protects Abby physically in the climax. He fully supports her choice to keep David despite the child's connection to Monica. The epilogue shows him as an engaged father and partner. Sam's arc is one of growth from passive bystander to active protector. For more details on the story's resolution, see the ending explained page. For additional reader questions, visit the questions and answers page.