Gaslighting and False Accusation in The Surrogate Mother

Thematic Claim: Gaslighting Destroys Trust in Reality

In The Surrogate Mother, Freida McFadden weaves a chilling portrait of gaslighting—a systematic campaign to make Abby Adler doubt her own perceptions, memory, and sanity. The central thematic claim is that gaslighting, paired with false accusations, isolates a victim from their support system and erodes their ability to trust themselves, ultimately making them vulnerable to being framed for crimes they did not commit. Abby is not merely lied to; she is actively manipulated by both Sam Adler and Monica Johnson into believing she is unstable, paranoid, and guilty.

Gaslighting Through a False Drug Accusation

One of the earliest and most damaging gaslighting tactics occurs when Abby is fired after a urine drug test returns positive for methamphetamine. When she tells Sam, he hesitates and says, “You have to admit, it does explain a lot of your behavior lately,” including her insomnia and what he calls her “paranoia.” Sam frames Abby’s perfectly reasonable suspicions of Monica as proof of meth-induced delusion. This is textbook gaslighting: when a trusted partner weaponizes a false accusation to delegitimize a victim’s legitimate concerns. Abby asks Sam directly if he believes her, and he gives only a reluctant “I guess so,” signaling that he has already begun to doubt her. This moment fractures the foundation of their marriage and leaves Abby isolated, convinced that even her husband sees her as a drug addict.

The false accusation also ties directly to the pregnancy test symbol. Abby’s desperate hope for a child is used against her; Monica’s pregnancy becomes a tool to control Abby, and the positive test that should bring joy instead brings uncertainty when Sam uses Abby’s “drug problem” to question her fitness as a mother.

The Frame-Up and the Email Trap

Gaslighting escalates into false accusation when Abby is framed for the murder of Denise Holt. Denise is found stabbed with the letter opener Sam gave Abby as an anniversary present—a symbol of domestic intimacy now turned into a weapon. Detective Sweeney shows Abby an email, supposedly from Abby to Denise, that reads: “I have information about you that could ruin you. If you don’t want it to get out, I suggest you meet with me tonight at eight.” Abby denies writing it, but the evidence is damning. The reader knows that Monica had access to Abby’s email account as her assistant. This is not just a false accusation; it is a deliberate planting of digital evidence to make Abby appear vengeful and guilty.

The interrogation scene further demonstrates gaslighting in the legal system. Detective Sweeney tells Abby, “I know it was very hard on you losing your job yesterday… people can do desperate things,” and then offers a plea deal if she confesses. Abby is pressured to accept a false reality—that she killed Denise out of rage—rather than trust her own memory of innocence. The officer’s “disarming smile” is a manipulation tactic, making Abby question whether she might have blacked out and committed the murder. This aligns with the prologue, where Abby’s lawyer mentions a “strong circumstantial case” and Abby herself begins to wonder if she actually did it. The gaslighting has spread from Sam and Monica to the entire criminal justice system.

Three Plot Points Where Gaslighting Intensifies

Complexity: Who Really Gaslights? Monica, Sam, or the System?

A key complexity is that Sam initially appears to be a supporting husband, but his actions—especially his text with Monica saying “She wouldn’t come home tonight. So that plan is off”—suggest he is complicit in the gaslighting. Yet evidence from Monica’s stepmother reveals Monica has borderline personality disorder and a history of manipulation, including a possible role in a classmate’s death. This raises the question: is Sam a victim of Monica’s gaslighting too, or is he a willing partner in destroying Abby? The text leaves ambiguity, but the fact that Sam never fully believes Abby—and that he “did the background check” that Monica faked—points to his active role.

Another layer of complexity is Abby’s own unreliable memory. Because she has been drugged by Monica (spiked coffee), some of her paranoia is real, but the lines between justified suspicion and drugging-induced confusion blur. The gaslighting is so effective that even the reader doubts Abby’s perspective for stretches of the novel. This makes the theme especially rich: false accusation thrives because the accused begins to doubt themselves.

Symbolic Connections Reinforcing the Theme

The most potent symbol is the childhood blanket of Monica’s that appears in the epilogue. Abby wants to throw it away, but her son David becomes hysterical without it, burying his face in the scent of Monica’s perfume. The blanket represents the inescapable stain of gaslighting: even after Monica is defeated (in a vegetative state), her influence remains. Abby cannot simply discard the past; the false accusations and manipulation have left a permanent mark on her family.

The baby’s heartbeat recording also ties to gaslighting. Monica uses the pregnancy to insert herself into Abby’s home and marriage. The heartbeat—meant to symbolize life and hope—becomes a tool of control, as Monica’s pregnancy ensures she cannot be easily dismissed. The letter opener symbolizes the weaponization of domestic trust, and the pregnancy test represents the false hope that masks Monica’s true intentions.

Study Questions and Answers

1. How does Sam’s reaction to the meth test function as gaslighting?
Sam uses Abby’s positive drug test to dismiss her legitimate worries about Monica as “paranoia.” By refusing to believe her and labeling her behavior as drug-induced, he reinforces the false narrative that she is unstable, which isolates her from emotional support.

2. What role does the threatening email play in the false accusation narrative?
The email appears from Abby’s account to Denise, threatening to ruin her. Monica sent it using her access to Abby’s email. This piece of fabricated evidence transforms Abby from a suspect into a likely killer, making the police view her as a vengeful ex-employee rather than a victim.

3. Why is the interrogation scene in Chapter 30 an example of institutional gaslighting?
Detective Sweeney tries to convince Abby that she must have killed Denise “in a rage” after being fired, offering a plea deal. She pressures Abby to accept a false reality, even though Abby knows she is innocent. This mimics the same doubt Sam and Monica instilled: Abby begins to question her memory.

4. In what way does the epilogue complicate the theme of gaslighting?
Although Monica is in a vegetative state, her childhood blanket still controls the family. David’s attachment to the scent of Monica’s perfume shows that the psychological manipulation outlives the manipulator. Abby cannot fully erase the gaslighting; it continues through her son.

5. How does the character of Gertie reinforce Abby’s isolation?
Gertie, Abby’s assistant, originally supports her but later becomes suspicious after the murder. Gertie’s death in the climax further removes a potential ally, leaving Abby with only Sam—who has already doubted her. The loss of Gertie symbolizes the gaslighting’s success in cutting off Abby’s support network.