Pepper Rafferty: Character Analysis in Self-Portrait with Nothing

Overview: The Scientist at the Center of the Mystery

Pepper Rafferty is the protagonist of Self-Portrait with Nothing and the lens through which the novel's central mystery unfolds. A forensic anthropologist and professor, Pepper begins the story as a woman who has built a stable, orderly life—a career, a marriage, a home—while carefully burying the unresolved question of her biological origins. When attorney Bill Williams arrives to tell her she is the primary beneficiary of missing painter Ula Frost's will, Pepper's carefully maintained separation between her professional and personal lives collapses. Over the course of the novel, she transforms from a reluctant inheritor who wants nothing to do with her biological mother's legacy into the person who uncovers Ula's hidden studio, confronts the multiverse of Ula's self-portraits, and ultimately takes responsibility for preserving—and dismantling—that legacy.

Her defining tension is between her scientific training and her imaginative inner life. She is a woman of evidence and procedure who nonetheless constantly imagines alternate versions of herself in parallel universes. This tension makes her uniquely suited to the novel's central question: what does it mean to be one version of a person when other versions exist?

Plot Role: From Reluctant Heir to Active Investigator

Pepper's role in the plot is that of the investigator-heir. She is the person who receives the inheritance, the person the missing Ula Frost has chosen to carry forward her work, and the person who must decide what to do with it. Her professional expertise as a forensic anthropologist is repeatedly deployed in service of the mystery: she examines the burned remains believed to be Ula's, she notices the discrepancy in the fractured arm that suggests the body is not Ula's, and she uses her scientific eye to assess the three Ulas who appear in her hotel room, noting their subtle differences in age spots and tattoos.

But her role is not passive. She actively pursues the truth, traveling to London and then to Poland, confronting Ula's assistant Gordon Priddy, and pressing witnesses like Rafał for information. She is also the person who, in the novel's climax, discovers the hidden crypt beneath Ula's former studio and the room full of paintings, including the thirteen self-portraits. Her decision to give each Ula her own portrait—and to destroy Blue's—is the plot's turning point, the act that resolves the multiverse crisis and sends the Ulas home.

Motivations and Traits Shown Through Actions

Pepper's motivations are layered and often in conflict. On the surface, she wants to protect the life she has built with Ike, her mothers, and her career. This is shown in her initial refusal to speak to Scott Morrow, the journalist who appears at her lab door; she sends him away firmly, telling him she has no intention of talking to him. It is also shown in her hesitation to sign the inheritance agreement, which she suspects is an elaborate manipulation.

Beneath this surface, however, is a deeper motivation: the need to understand who she is. She has known since grad school that Ula Frost is her biological mother—she confirmed it by testing gum that Tilda Hogan had left—but she has kept this knowledge secret from everyone, including Ike. Her secrecy is a defining trait. She tells Ike, when he asks why she didn't reveal that she had seen Ula in person, that she thought he would love her less. This confession reveals a core insecurity: Pepper believes her origins make her less worthy of love.

Her actions also demonstrate competence under pressure. When the Polish police inform her that Ula has been found dead, Pepper's body clicks into a calm: this is her area of expertise. She asks about the condition of the remains, the extent of the damage, whether a forensic specialist has examined them. She recalibrates grief into science as a survival mechanism.

At the same time, she is deeply avoidant. She imagines alternate universes constantly—versions of herself who are braver, more open, more fulfilled—and these fantasies function as escapes from the discomfort of her actual life. She admits to herself that she has spent so much time occupying imaginary universes that she has neglected the people who actually love her.

Chronological Arc

Pepper's arc moves from avoidance to engagement. In the opening chapters, she is defined by refusal: she refuses Scott, she refuses to discuss Ula, she refuses to open the photo album Tilda sends. When Ike brings her the album, she pushes it away, saying she doesn't want it.

The turning point comes when she decides not to sign the inheritance agreement immediately. She tells Ike she wants to go to London, and this decision—to stop retreating into fantasy and start asking the questions she has avoided—sets the rest of the plot in motion.

In London and Poland, she becomes an active investigator, though she remains ambivalent. She tells Scott, when he suggests she wanted to meet Ula, that she didn't want to meet her, that she only came because she was already in London. This ambivalence persists even as she follows the trail.

The middle of the arc is marked by loss and disorientation. She is told Ula is dead, then discovers Ula is alive—or rather, that multiple Ulas exist. She is attacked, her bag is stolen, and she is injured. Through all of this, she continues to function, using her professional skills to assess the situation.

The climax of her arc comes in the crypt beneath the church. She discovers the hidden room of paintings, including the unfinished portraits of Tilda and herself and the thirteen self-portraits. She gives each Ula her own portrait, explaining that destruction may send them home, and prepares to destroy Blue's portrait. This act—choosing to dismantle the multiverse rather than preserve it—represents her final commitment to the reality she inhabits.

The resolution shows Pepper integrating her two selves. She repatriates remains in Oklahoma, a professional act with deep personal meaning. She visits Tilda, who explains why she stopped speaking to Ula and gives Pepper a house key. She plans a collaborative research project to protect Ula's legacy, and she reassures Specs, one of the Ulas, who wants to try living alone. The novel ends with geese taking flight, an image of departure and return.

Relationships

Ike Rafferty: Pepper's husband, a history professor specializing in the history of sexuality. Their relationship is loving but strained by Pepper's secrecy. Ike reveals he once met Ula Frost before their marriage, a fact he had kept from Pepper. After Pepper confesses her secret, Ike establishes a rule: no more secrets. Their relationship is tested by Pepper's emotional distance—she admits she has held him away from her for too long—but he remains a steady presence, comforting her after Ula's death.

Lydia and Annie: Pepper's adoptive mothers, who run the Rafferty Family Veterinary Hospital. They are warm and supportive, and they have always been honest with Pepper about not knowing who left her as an infant. Pepper's love for them is evident, and her fear that knowing her biological mother would diminish that love is a central emotional conflict.

Tilda Hogan: Ula's sister and Pepper's biological aunt. Tilda is initially distant, never answering her door when the detective investigates. But she is also the person who left the $100,000 cashier's check for Pepper when Pepper was fifteen, and she later sends Pepper the photo album and the clippings. In the final chapter, Tilda explains why she stopped speaking to Ula and gives Pepper a house key, a gesture of acceptance.

Ula Frost: Pepper's biological mother, whom she never meets until the final chapters. Their relationship is defined by absence and projection. Pepper has imagined Ula in many forms, and meeting the multiple Ulas forces her to confront the reality that Ula is not one person but many versions of a person. Ula's final words—the Polish word for dragon—and her request for a grand funeral suggest a woman who was lonely and who painted many versions of herself out of that loneliness.

Scott Morrow: A journalist from Ekphrasis who initially antagonizes Pepper but becomes an uneasy ally. He accompanies her to the post office and to Poland, and he is present for key discoveries. Their relationship is professional and often tense, but Scott's persistence helps push Pepper toward engagement.

Key Decisions and Consequences

Refusing to speak to Scott: Pepper's initial refusal protects her secret but also delays the investigation. It shows her instinct for self-protection and her fear of exposure.

Revealing Ula is her mother: When Bill Williams arrives, Pepper tells him the truth. This decision breaks her secrecy with Ike and sets the terms of her involvement in the inheritance.

Not signing the agreement immediately: Pepper's decision to delay signing the inheritance agreement is a pivotal act of resistance. She suspects the inheritance is an elaborate manipulation, and her refusal to simply comply opens the door to investigation.

Going to London: This decision commits her to the search. It is the moment she stops retreating into fantasy and begins to act in the world.

Giving each Ula her portrait: In the crypt, Pepper chooses to destroy the portraits, believing this will send the Ulas home. This act resolves the multiverse crisis and establishes her as the arbiter of Ula's legacy.

Planning the collaborative research project: In the final chapter, Pepper decides to protect Ula's legacy through scholarship rather than secrecy. This is a synthesis of her professional identity and her personal connection to Ula.

Theme and Symbol Connections

Pepper is the novel's central vehicle for exploring the multiverse and alternate selves. Her constant fantasies about other versions of herself—the TV consultant, the government agent, the woman in Mexico—are not mere daydreams; they are a way of life. She uses them to escape discomfort and to imagine who she might have been. The novel ultimately asks whether these fantasies are a form of avoidance or a legitimate way of understanding the self.

Her arc also engages identity and selfhood. Pepper's identity is fractured between her professional self, her domestic self, and her imagined selves. Her discovery of the thirteen self-portraits—and her decision to destroy them—is a meditation on what it means to be one version of a person.

The theme of mother-daughter relationships and abandonment is central to Pepper's story. She was abandoned as an infant, raised by two loving mothers, and then confronted with a biological mother who painted versions of herself out of loneliness. Her relationship with Ula is defined by absence, and her relationship with Lydia and Annie is defined by presence. The novel asks what makes a mother: biology or care.

Secrecy and hidden truths structure Pepper's life. She keeps her knowledge of Ula from Ike, she hides her feelings, and she avoids the questions that matter. The novel's plot is driven by the revelation of secrets—Ula's, Tilda's, Gordon's, and Pepper's own.

Finally, art as a transformative and dangerous force is embodied in the portraits. Pepper's professional training teaches her to see the world through evidence, but the portraits force her to confront the possibility that art can create reality, not just represent it. Her decision to destroy the portraits is an acknowledgment of art's power.

Five Book-Specific Questions and Answers

1. Why does Pepper initially refuse to speak to Scott Morrow about Ula Frost?

Pepper refuses because she has kept her connection to Ula secret for years. She confirmed in grad school that Ula was her biological mother by testing gum that Tilda Hogan had left, but she never told anyone. When Scott appears at her lab, she sends him away firmly, telling him she has no intention of talking to him. Her refusal is an act of self-protection: she fears that revealing her origins will change how people see her, and she tells Ike later that she thought he would love her less if he knew.

2. How does Pepper confirm that Ula Frost is her biological mother?

Pepper confirms the connection during grad school by testing gum that Tilda Hogan had left. She reveals this to Ike and Bill Williams when the attorney arrives with news of the will. The test is a scientific act—consistent with her professional identity—but it is also a secret she carries alone for years.

3. Why does Pepper decide not to sign the inheritance agreement immediately?

Pepper suspects the inheritance is an elaborate manipulation. She knows the family needs the money—they have a loan, Ike's sabbatical is at stake, and the property in London could be sold—but she cannot bring herself to simply comply with Ula's conditions. She tells Ike she wants to go to London instead, a decision that marks her shift from passive recipient to active investigator.

4. What does Pepper discover in the hidden room beneath the church?

Pepper discovers a climate-controlled room full of paintings, including unfinished portraits of Tilda and herself and thirteen self-portraits. She also finds four dead Ulas and older remains in the crypt. The discovery forces her to confront the reality of the multiverse: Ula did not just paint alternate versions of her subjects; she created them.

5. What does Pepper do with the portraits, and why?

Pepper gives each Ula her own portrait, explaining that destruction may send them home. She then prepares to destroy Blue's portrait. Her decision is an act of mercy and resolution: by destroying the portraits, she collapses the multiverse and allows the Ulas to return to their own realities. It is also a choice to inhabit her own reality rather than escape into imagined ones.

For further exploration, see the ending explained page or the questions and answers section.