Joar: The Fierce Heart of My Friends

Overview

Joar is the fierce, protective childhood friend of Kimkim (the artist) in Fredrik Backman’s My Friends. He grows up in a violent home, shoulders the burden of his mother’s safety, and becomes the driving force behind Kimkim’s artistic breakthrough. After a traumatic accident derails his plans to kill his abusive father, Joar’s life takes a different path: he eventually serves time in prison for assaulting a man he saw beating a woman, and reemerges twenty-five years later to reunite with Ted and Louisa. Joar embodies sacrificial love, stubborn loyalty, and the quiet heroism of someone who channels rage into protection rather than destruction.

Role in the Plot

Joar’s actions set the novel’s central chain of events in motion. He finds the art competition announcement and relentlessly pushes Kimkim to enter, believing it is the only way his friend can escape their dying town (Chapter Four). When Kimkim’s self-doubt threatens to stop him, Joar sells his own birthday bicycle—the first thing he ever owned—to buy art supplies (Chapter Forty-Six). He also hides a knife under flower boxes, intending to kill his drunken father, but his mother finds it first (Chapter Fifty-One). On the day of the museum trip, Joar’s father is struck by a steel beam at the harbor and later dies. Joar rushes home to find his mother lying on the floor, not injured but weeping in relief. She confesses she took the knife and would have used it (Chapter Fifty-One). Joar never commits the murder, but the weight of that moment reshapes his life. Twenty-five years later, after serving time for a righteous assault, he meets Ted and Louisa at his childhood home, finally able to tell the full story (Chapter Forty-Eight).

Motivations and Traits

Motivations

Protection: Joar’s primary drive is to shield those he loves—his mother, Kimkim, Ali, and Ted. He explains, “All the people I love are still my responsibility, all the time” (Chapter Fifty-Four).
Justice: He cannot tolerate cruelty. He knocks out a man he sees hit a woman, then turns himself in (Chapter Fifty-Four).
Escape for Kimkim: He believes art is the only way out for his friend, and he sacrifices everything to give him that chance.

Traits Shown Through Actions

Fierce loyalty: At age five, Joar throws open a trunk where other children have locked Kimkim, leaving the bullies bleeding (Chapter Twelve).
Self-sacrifice: He sells his beloved bicycle—gifted by his mother—to buy paint and canvas (Chapter Forty-Six).
Strategic thinking: He plans to kill his father on a night when his mother is working, and hides the knife in the flower box (Chapter Seventeen).
Humility after violence: In prison, he reads boring books Ted sends and gains perspective; he later jokes about his ankle monitor (Chapter Fifty-Four).
Emotional depth: On the roof with Louisa, he shares his strongest memory—lying on the floor with Ali, Ted, and Kimkim after framing the painting—and says he thought of it every night in prison (Chapter Fifty-Five).

Chronological Arc

Childhood (ages 5–14)

Meets Kimkim in preschool, protects him from bullies.
Develops a reputation as someone who “never starts fights but always finishes them” (Chapter Twenty-One).
Forms the core group with Ted (after crashing a stolen bike into him) and Ali.

The Summer They Turned Fifteen

Finds the art competition ad; pushes Kimkim to enter, despite the age limit being thirteen.
Hides a knife planning to kill his father; mother discovers it.
Father dies in a harbor accident before Joar can act.
Steals father’s car to drive friends to a museum; the painting The One of the Sea later becomes world-famous.

Adult Life and Prison

Stays in his hometown to care for his mother after the accident.
Years later, at his father’s funeral, sees a man hit a woman and intervenes, beating the man so badly the police believe there were multiple attackers. He turns himself in and serves a prison sentence (Chapter Fifty-Four).
Misses the artist’s illness and death while incarcerated.
Released with an ankle monitor, he returns to his mother’s house.

Reunion (Present Day)

Ted and Louisa arrive at his door (Chapter Forty-Eight).
On the roof, he tells Louisa the story of their friendship, the knife, the accident, and his mother’s eventual happy ending (Chapter Fifty-Four).
He admits he and the artist only met once after that summer—a fact that haunts him.

Relationships

Kimkim (the artist)
Joar is Kimkim’s protector and catalyst. He sees Kimkim’s talent before anyone else and sacrifices his own freedom (selling his bike, planning violence) to nurture it. The bond is so strong that Joar knew Kimkim would “live forever” while the rest might not (Chapter Six). In prison, Kimkim’s memory kept Joar going.

Ali
Ali and Joar share an unspoken romantic tension. She gives him the knife after his father beats him for wearing a dress to support her concert (Chapter Nineteen). They hold hands at the museum (Chapter Fifty-Five). Joar’s mother later tells him Ali’s “I believe in you” meant more than love (Chapter Twenty). Their connection is one of mutual understanding born from shared trauma.

Ted
Ted and Joar meet when Joar crashes a bike into him (Chapter Twelve). Ted becomes the steady, calm presence that complements Joar’s ferocity. While Joar is in prison, Ted sends books and later brings Louisa to meet him after the artist’s death. Their friendship endures time and distance.

Louisa
Joar does not meet Louisa until the end of the novel, but their conversation on the roof becomes the emotional climax. He shares his deepest regrets and joys. Louisa sees him as someone who “didn’t have a future anyway” but found meaning in protecting others. Joar tells her that his mother’s happy ending proved life can be long and good—a lesson Louisa desperately needs.

Key Decisions and Consequences

Decision	Consequence
Push Kimkim into the art competition	Kimkim becomes a world-famous artist, but the friends grow apart after the summer.
Hide a knife to kill his father	Mother finds it; father dies accidentally, freeing Joar from the need to murder but leaving a permanent scar.
Stay in town to care for his mother	He misses the chance to leave with his friends; ends up working in the harbor and later going to prison.
Knock out a man hitting a woman	Serves prison time; misses the artist’s final years, but saves a family. After release, he achieves a kind of peace.

Theme and Symbol Connections

Friendship
Joar is the anchor of the friend group. The ritual of calling “HERE!” after diving into the sea symbolizes the safety of being found by friends. Even in prison, Joar clings to that memory.

Sacrificial Love
Joar sells his bicycle, his only possession, for Kimkim’s art. He also sacrifices his own future by staying to care for his mother and by taking responsibility for his violent act. His love is action, not words.

Grief and Loss
Joar’s entire arc is shaped by loss: the loss of his father (even a hated one), the loss of his friends after the summer, the loss of years to prison, and the loss of Kimkim to illness. Yet he does not become bitter.

Art as Redemption
Joar cannot paint, but he understands that Kimkim’s art is the one thing that can save him. The painting hides tiny flowers—a tribute to Joar’s mother—showing how Joar’s love is literally woven into the masterpiece.

Trauma and Resilience
Joar endures repeated physical abuse from his father. Rather than becoming a perpetrator, he channels his rage into protection. He tells Louisa that his father’s death freed his mother, and that her later happiness was a “happy ending” he never thought possible (Chapter Fifty-Four).

Questions and Answers

Why does Joar sell his bicycle instead of stealing art supplies?
The novel states that Joar’s mother sold her ice skates to buy him the bicycle for his birthday. Joar then sells that bike to buy paints and canvas, and he insists on getting a store receipt. This is explicitly stated as the first time he sold his own bike, not a stolen one—proof that he valued honesty for this act (Chapter Forty-Six). (Interpretation: This decision shows his desire to do something good without shame, even if he has stolen bikes before.)
What happens to the knife Joar hides?
Joar hides the knife under the flower box outside his window, planning to kill his father. His mother finds it and takes it. Later, when Joar returns home after the museum trip, he discovers she had it all along and confesses she would have used it herself (Chapter Fifty-One). The knife never kills anyone, but its presence changes both of them.
Why does Joar go to prison?
After his father’s funeral, Joar sees a man hit a woman near a car where a little girl is screaming. Joar attacks the man, beating him so severely that the victim later tells police he was assaulted by “at least five people.” Joar turns himself in (Chapter Fifty-Four). (Fact: The author does not specify the exact length of his sentence, only that he was released with an ankle monitor due to overcrowding.)
Does Joar ever see the artist again after the summer?
Joar tells Louisa they met only one single time after the summer they turned fifteen (Chapter Fifty-Four). He was in prison when Kimkim became ill and died. This separation is one of Joar’s deepest regrets.
What is Joar’s “strongest memory” from childhood?
Lying on the floor of his room with Ali, Ted, and Kimkim after they framed the painting. He thought about that moment every night in prison (Chapter Fifty-Five). The memory represents pure friendship and purpose—the moment before everything went wrong.