Fish Character Analysis in My Friends

Overview

Fish is the deceased best friend of protagonist Louisa, introduced through memory and grief. Though she dies before the novel’s present timeline, Fish shapes every major decision Louisa makes — from breaking into an art auction to refusing to sell a priceless painting. Her presence is felt in flashbacks, Louisa’s internal monologue, and the symbolic acts of drawing red fish and painting wings on gravestones. Fish represents unconditional friendship, the pain of losing someone to addiction, and the enduring power of love that outlasts death.

Plot Role

Fish functions as the emotional core of Louisa’s journey. Her death by overdose drives Louisa’s grief and her desire to vandalize art that feels disconnected from real human pain. In Chapter One, Louisa breaks into an old church to graffiti a painting, recalling how Fish taught her to break in. Through flashbacks, we learn Fish was Louisa’s anchor in foster care — they shared a bed, hid from guards in libraries, and whispered about fairy tales. Fish’s death in a library among fairy tales becomes a haunting image that Louisa revisits throughout the novel. Her memory directly causes Louisa to run away from foster care on the eve of her eighteenth birthday, and later to reject the comfortable life offered by Ted and Christian’s mother. Fish’s absence is the void Louisa fills with art, rage, and eventually, the courage to trust again.

Motivations and Traits Shown Through Actions

Fish is defined by her contradictions: cynical yet hopeful, reckless yet protective. She warned Louisa that “there’s nothing more dangerous than being noticed by men,” yet she herself was “far too easy to love” — falling for married men who gave her promises instead of stability. Her actions reveal a deep desire for belonging and happy endings, as seen when she tells Louisa their library break-in is her “now forever.” She believed in fairy tales and read them aloud to Louisa, even while she was slowly losing herself to substance abuse. Fish’s protectiveness emerges when she forbids Louisa to run away with her after being expelled from the foster home, because Louisa is still seventeen and police would search for them. She wanted to be remembered as the best version of herself. This trait drives Louisa to preserve Fish’s memory by drawing fish next to the famous painting and by refusing to let the adults’ cold assessments diminish her friend’s worth.

Chronological Arc

• Childhood (before meeting Louisa): Fish was already hardened by the foster system. She learned to break into places and to distrust adults, yet she never lost her capacity for joy.
• Meeting Louisa (age ~6-7): The two bond instantly. Louisa says “they belonged to each other.” Fish teaches Louisa to speak English through movies and curses, and they sleep with screwdrivers in hand for protection.
• Teen years: Fish becomes increasingly involved with older men and drugs. She sneaks jewelry from married men, leading to her expulsion from the foster home. She and Louisa grow apart as Fish descends into addiction.
• Eighteenth birthday: On Fish’s last birthday, Louisa breaks into a library as a gift. Fish calls it “now forever.” They hide from guards, read fairy tales, and trigger an alarm while escaping.
• Death (shortly after): Fish dies of an overdose in the library among the fairy tales. The cleaner finds her at sunrise. A policeman informs the foster home that she “drifted off peacefully.”
• Posthumous influence: Fish’s memory propels Louisa’s entire present-day arc — her grief, her graffiti, her bond with Ted, and her eventual decision to become an artist and mentor.

Relationships

Louisa

Fish’s most important relationship. They are each other’s only family in the foster system. Louisa describes Fish as being “everywhere in my brain.” They share private jokes, protect each other from guards, and whisper about love stories. After Fish’s death, Louisa wakes every night screaming “I give up! Just come out!” — a reference to hide-and-seek in the library. Their bond is the novel’s emotional anchor.

The Men

Fish falls for “geniuses” and “kind ones” who give her promises they never keep. One married man gives her a necklace that he later reports stolen for insurance money, leading to her expulsion. These relationships reveal her vulnerability and her desperate need to be chosen.

The Foster System

Fish is failed by adults. After jewelry is found in her backpack, the foster home expels her rather than seeking help. The system treats her as a burden. Louisa later recalls adults calling Fish “better off dead,” which triggers Louisa’s flight from the home.

Key Decisions and Consequences

Themes and Symbolism

Fish embodies several central themes in My Friends:

• Friendship: Fish and Louisa’s bond is the novel’s primary example of friendship as a survival mechanism. They create their own family in the absence of reliable adults.
• Grief and Loss: Louisa’s mourning for Fish is the engine of the plot. Her inability to let go is explored through flashbacks and her nightly screams. The theme of grief and loss is inseparable from Fish’s memory.
• Art as Redemption: Louisa paints a red fish next to the famous painting to mark Fish’s existence. Later, Fish’s gravestone gets painted wings. Art becomes a way to keep Fish alive. See art as redemption.
• Sacrificial Love: Fish’s decision to push Louisa away to protect her is an act of sacrificial love. She wants to be remembered as the best version of herself.
• Trauma and Resilience: Both girls carry trauma from abuse and abandonment. Fish’s addiction and death illustrate how untreated trauma can destroy, but Louisa’s resilience — inspired by Fish — allows her to survive and create. Explore trauma and resilience.

Fish also serves as a symbol of the “main character” in fairy tales — but in Louisa’s story, the main character dies, subverting the genre. This connects to the novel’s meditation on whether stories can save us.

Frequently Asked Questions

How did Fish die?

Fish died of an overdose in the town library, curled up among the fairy tales. A cleaner found her at sunrise. The doctor declared it an overdose, and the policeman said she “drifted off peacefully.” The novel does not specify the exact drug, but she had been using pills and alcohol for some time.

Why does Louisa blame herself for Fish’s death?

Louisa internalizes the common guilt of those who lose someone to overdose: she believes that if she had been with Fish every moment, she could have prevented it. She also regrets obeying Fish’s order not to run away. Her nightly screams — “I give up! Just come out!” — mirror their hide-and-seek game, linking her grief to the last happy memory.

What was the significance of the library break-in?

For Fish’s eighteenth birthday, Louisa planned the break-in as a gift. It was a magical night where they played games, read fairy tales, and felt free. Fish called it her “now forever.” The library later becomes the site of her death, turning that perfect memory into a haunting one.

How does Fish influence Louisa’s art?

Louisa draws a red fish next to the famous painting in Chapter Two, and later paints fish on the church wall with the homeless artist. Fish’s name is literally inscribed in Louisa’s art. At the novel’s end, Louisa paints wings on Fish’s gravestone, symbolizing release. Art becomes the medium through which Louisa processes grief and keeps Fish present.

Did Fish have any other friends?

The novel only shows Fish through Louisa’s eyes. She had no other close friends in the foster home — the other children laughed at her. Her “older friends” were related to her drug use, not genuine companionship. Fish’s world revolved entirely around Louisa, making their bond all the more intense and its loss more devastating.

For more context on how Fish’s story connects to the novel’s resolution, read the ending explained. For other common reader queries, see questions and answers.