Chapter summaries Leave Me Behind K.M. Moronova

Chapter 21: Kapitel 20 – A Deadly Mission and Past Promises

⚠️ Spoiler Notice

This summary and analysis contain detailed references to events in Chapter 21 of Leave Me Behind. If you have not read the chapter, proceed with caution.

Summary

Three years before the main story, Nell (code‑name Gallows) and her sergeant, Jenkins, lead a Riøt unit on a nighttime mission at Black Bay dock in Alaska. Their target is a group of Dark Forces soldiers accused of selling secrets. Nell becomes momentarily distracted by her feelings for Jenkins and accidentally steps on a twig, alerting the enemy. Jenkins shields her from gunfire and suffers a shoulder wound. Despite the injury, Nell kills the two attacking soldiers while a grenadier destroys the enemy boat. During the aftermath, Jenkins teaches Nell how to dispose of bodies, cutting off the face of one traitor and tossing the corpse into dark water where something feeds on it. He warns her to trust no one except him. Later, back at the base, they have sex, and Nell reflects that they are two broken people shaped by darkness, perfectly matched.

Key Events

  • The chapter opens with Jenkins studying Nell’s face before a mission, a ritual he performs before each operation.
  • Nell struggles to suppress her feelings for Jenkins during the operation, leading to a critical mistake: she steps on a twig.
  • The enemy soldiers open fire; Jenkins pushes Nell to the ground and is wounded in the shoulder.
  • Nell shoots both enemies dead with precision headshots.
  • The Riøt grenadier destroys the escaping enemy boat with a rocket.
  • Jenkins inspects the bodies and demonstrates how to make certain evidence disappear. He cuts off one man’s face and pushes the body into the water.
  • Jenkins explicitly tells Nell to trust no one except him.
  • Later, they have sex in Jenkins’s tent, and Nell falls asleep in his arms, convinced they are two halves of the same darkness.

Character Development

Nell (Gallows)
Nell is shown as a highly capable soldier who can make headshots under pressure, yet she admits to growing distraction because of her emotional attachment to Jenkins. Her guilt over his injury and her desperate need for his approval reveal a vulnerable side not seen in her present‑day hardened persona. The flashback establishes that her devotion to Jenkins was absolute – she would follow him to the grave – which makes his apparent betrayal or loss in the later timeline all the more significant.

Jenkins (Sergeant)
Jenkins is depicted as both ruthless and tender. He calmly teaches body‑disposal methods while bleeding from his wound, showing his prioritization of the mission over his own pain. His warning “trust no one except me” positions him as a controlling protector, and his line about Nell being “beautiful but dangerous” hints that he sees her as a weapon rather than a partner. Nevertheless, his rare soft smile and intimate moments with Nell suggest a genuine bond, however twisted.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Trust and Paranoia
The central theme of the chapter is trust. Jenkins’s repeated instruction to trust no one – and then to trust only him – creates a closed system of loyalty that isolates Nell from the rest of Riøt. The motif of “snakes” (informants) inside the organization reinforces the paranoid environment in which soldiers cannot rely on anyone but their immediate partner.

Darkness and Duality
Nell describes herself and Jenkins as “shaped by darkness” and “made for each other.” The chapter uses firelight, shadows, and the black water to symbolize their moral ambiguity. The fact that something in the water feeds on a corpse underscores that darkness is an active hunger that consumes everything, including the soldiers themselves.

Violence as Intimacy
The mission’s violence is interwoven with physical intimacy. Jenkins teaches Nell how to mutilate a body, then later has sex with her. The chapter suggests that for these characters, blood and desire are inseparable – a pattern that likely echoes in the larger story.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter provides the emotional backbone for Nell’s present‑day motivations. It reveals the deep trust she placed in Jenkins and the kind of bond that defined her earlier life. The mission also introduces the dangerous world of the Dark Forces, showing that the organization is riddled with traitors and that Riøt operates by eliminating them without mercy. Nell’s current behavior – her survival instincts, her difficulty trusting others, her possibly suppressed guilt – all originate in this period. Without this flashback, readers would miss the foundation of Nell’s trauma and the reason for her fierce loyalty to a man who may no longer be alive or who may have betrayed her.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does Nell step on the twig, and what does this mistake reveal about her state of mind?
She is distracted by her thoughts about Jenkins, specifically his cheekbones and the dreams he has for their future. This shows that her emotional attachment is compromising her legendary focus, making her act out of character for a Riøt soldier. The mistake nearly costs both of them their lives.

2. How does Jenkins’s response to his own injury reinforce the power dynamic between him and Nell?
Even while bleeding, Jenkins refuses to let Nell help him and instead returns to teaching her how to dispose of the bodies. He maintains control of the situation and of her, reinforcing that he is the leader and the one who sets the rules. His line about trusting no one except himself further solidifies his dominance.

3. What does the image of “something in the dark water feeding on the corpse” suggest about the world Riøt operates in?
It suggests a predatory, amoral environment where nature itself seems complicit in erasing evidence. The image implies that nothing is sacred and that violence and consumption are natural cycles. It also prefigures the idea that the soldiers themselves may eventually be devoured by the darkness they serve.

Navigate