Chapter 18: In Defense of Drinking – Summary & Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Klein opens by listing things she opposes: drunk driving, being buzzed around children, and mayonnaise. She then defends her own moderate drinking as a mother. She recounts the agony of breastfeeding her newborn, which consumed nearly every minute between feeding sessions, leaving her exhausted and hormonally overwhelmed. A lactation consultant approved Guinness to boost milk supply, and Klein’s OB/GYN said drinking while nursing is fine as long as she avoids blackout intoxication. One evening, after her husband bought Guinness, Klein found that drinking helped her relax and genuinely enjoy her baby for the first time. She argues that occasional mindlessness—achieved through a glass of wine or tequila—is necessary to endure the hypervigilance of mothering small children. She describes her son Asher’s obsession with a game called parking, where they line up toy cars for hours. A sip of tequila allows her to tolerate the monotony and keep mothering. Klein compares alcohol to an ongoing epidural, as motherhood involves giving birth in some way every day. She acknowledges the societal vitriol such admissions provoke, referencing backlash from her earlier chapter “Get the Epidural.”

Key Events

Klein lists things she is extremely against (drunk driving, mayonnaise) to establish boundaries before defending drinking.
She describes the impossible math of breastfeeding: a feeding every 90 minutes from the start, each lasting 90 minutes, leaving no break.
She experiences total exhaustion, heavy postpartum bleeding, and uncontrollable crying.
Her husband runs to buy Guinness after her lactation consultant and OB/GYN give cautious approval.
The first beer helps her relax while nursing, creating a moment of genuine connection with her baby.
She shares the “parking” game with three-year-old Asher, which involves moving toy cars for hours.
Klein pours tequila to quiet her resistance and continue playing without irritation.
She reflects on criticism of her previous writing about epidurals and anticipates similar outrage for this chapter.

Character Development

Jessi Klein: Reveals a pragmatic, self‑aware mother who openly admits to using alcohol as a coping tool. She is defensive but unapologetic, owning her choices while acknowledging societal judgment.
Asher: Portrayed as a sweet, imaginative toddler whose intense focus on a single game (parking) embodies the repetitive demands of early childhood parenting.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs Actually Evidenced Here

Motherhood as constant labor: Klein compares the unrelenting cycles of breastfeeding and playing parking to a form of daily childbirth—never truly over.
Coping through substances: Alcohol functions as a legitimate, if controversial, aid to patience and presence, not as escape from responsibility.
Societal double standards: Klein notes that male authors historically drank heavily without censure, while mothers are shamed for moderate drinking.
Mindfulness versus mindlessness: She challenges the mindfulness movement by arguing that occasional mindless numbing is essential for surviving hypervigilant parenting.
The parking game as metaphor: The tedious, repetitive nature of the game mirrors the tedium that motherhood tasks can impose, and the need for something outside oneself to endure it.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter pushes back against “mom‑juice” think pieces that stigmatize maternal drinking. By detailing her own exhaustion and the mundane grind of early parenthood, Klein normalizes a coping mechanism many mothers use in private. She reframes moderate drinking not as failure but as a deliberate tool to stay engaged and patient. The essay also highlights ongoing tensions around women’s bodily autonomy and the unrealistic expectations placed on mothers to be perpetually mindful and self‑sacrificing.

Study Questions and Answers

Question: How does Klein’s description of breastfeeding challenge idealized narratives of new motherhood?
Answer: She presents breastfeeding as physically painful and mind‑numbingly monotonous, with a schedule that consumed her entire day and night. This counters the vision of blissful bonding and honesty acknowledges the toll on a new mother’s body and mind.
Question: What purpose does the “parking” game serve in the chapter’s argument?
Answer: Parking represents the kind of tedious, repetitive play that tests a parent’s patience. Klein uses it to illustrate how a glass of tequila helps her push through frustration and continue participating, thereby making her a more present—rather than absent—mother.
Question: Why does Klein anticipate criticism for this chapter, and how does she preemptively respond?
Answer: She expects anger because society often shames mothers for any indulgence, while the same behavior in fathers is tolerated or celebrated. She preempts criticism by listing things she unequivocally opposes (e.g., drunk driving) and by insisting that her truth comes from lived experience, not from any universal prescription.