Chapter summaries I'll Show Myself Out Jessi Klein

Chapter 10: "Somewhere over the Rainbow" – Summary and Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Klein opens by comparing having a child to having a dream: intensely meaningful to the dreamer but boring to everyone else. She notes that early motherhood is filled with repetitive, forgettable drudgery—thousands of diaper changes she no longer remembers—but also with sudden, overwhelming moments that feel like a surreal dream. Before becoming a mother, she could summon such emotion only in a drive-through car wash, crying while pretending to be in an indie film.

The chapter centers on a particularly hard morning when her husband, Mike, is away on a business trip. Her toddler son, Asher, is in the throes of the terrible twos. A series of small disasters—a rejected quesadilla, a tantrum, an early wake-up—leads to a crisis when Klein needs to use the bathroom but Asher refuses to let go of her leg. He clings to her as she walks to the toilet, and she feels a terrifying surge of frustration, even briefly imagining violence. She references Joseph Campbell’s hero’s journey, recognizing that the danger is coming from inside herself.

Desperate, she recalls The Wizard of Oz and plays Judy Garland’s “Somewhere over the Rainbow” on her phone. Asher immediately calms down and sits beside her, transfixed. In that moment, Klein is struck by a wave of emotion connecting her five-year-old self watching the movie in 1980 to the present: a depressed forty-two-year-old mother on a toilet, her son at her feet, watching a song recorded by a woman who later died of heartbreak. The scene becomes a shared moment of longing for a different life, yet also a recognition of beauty in that longing.

She reflects on the end of The Wizard of Oz, where Dorothy wakes up and tries to tell her family about her dream, but no one cares. Klein wonders if Dorothy will write it down or feel that nobody else would understand. In the same way, Klein knows she will always remember this bathroom moment, but she yearns for another adult to validate its importance. She concludes that parenting is like a dream: some parts are not very nice, but most of it—even the ugly parts—is beautiful.

Key Events

  • Klein describes the relentless drudgery of early motherhood, comparing it to forgettable dreams.
  • Mike is away on a business trip, leaving Klein alone with Asher.
  • A series of frustrating morning incidents—a rejected breakfast, tantrums, early waking—culminate in Asher clinging to Klein’s leg while she tries to use the bathroom.
  • Klein reaches a peak of frustration, feels a frightening urge toward violence, and recognizes the danger in herself.
  • She plays “Somewhere over the Rainbow” on YouTube, and Asher becomes calm and absorbed.
  • Klein experiences a profound emotional moment linking her childhood self, Judy Garland’s tragic life, and her current situation.
  • She compares the moment to the end of The Wizard of Oz, where Dorothy’s dream is dismissed by her family.
  • Klein concludes that parenting is like a dream—hard to share but deeply meaningful.

Character Development

  • Jessi Klein: This chapter reveals Klein’s vulnerability and honesty about the darkest moments of motherhood. She admits to a fleeting, terrifying desire to hurt her child, which she reframes as a heroic act of restraint. Her ability to find transcendence in a mundane, difficult moment shows her growth as a reflective parent.
  • Asher: Though only two, Asher is portrayed as clingy, stubborn, and intensely present. His reaction to the song—immediate calm—also demonstrates how small children can be transported by beauty, surprising their parents.
  • Judy Garland (as cultural figure): Klein treats Garland as a symbolic figure—a tragic artist whose voice can still offer magic. The chapter deepens her role from entertainer to a kind of spirit guide.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

  • Motherhood as a dream: The central metaphor—intense meaning coupled with others’ indifference—structures the chapter. Dorothy’s unshared dream mirrors Kleins invisible struggles.
  • The heroic moment of restraint: Klein reframes resisting the urge to lash out as a genuine act of heroism, aligning herself with Joseph Campbell’s monomyth. This subverts traditional ideas of heroism.
  • The car-wash cry: A recurring motif for emotional release. The bathroom scene becomes a different kind of car wash—a place where tears and cleansing converge.
  • “Somewhere over the Rainbow”: The song symbolizes longing for an elsewhere and the beauty of that longing. It bridges generations and reminds Klein of shared human wistfulness.
  • The Wizard of Oz: The film’s ending—Dorothy’s family dismissing her dream—is used as a parable for how society dismisses the emotional weight of motherhood.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter is one of the most raw and memorable in I’ll Show Myself Out. It gives voice to a taboo feeling: the moment a mother briefly imagines harming her child, and the courage required to pull back. By connecting this experience to a classic film and a universally known song, Klein universalizes her private struggle. She also tackles the isolation of parenting—how the most profound moments go unseen and unvalidated. The chapter reinforces the book’s larger argument that motherhood is both mundane and epic, and that we need to talk more honestly about its dark edges.

Study Questions and Answers

  1. How does Klein use Joseph Campbell’s concept of the hero’s journey to reframe her experience in the bathroom?
    She refers to Campbell’s description of the threshold crossing, where the hero enters unknown and dangerous territory. For Klein, the danger is not external but internal: her own capacity for violence. By recognizing this moment as a mythic threshold, she elevates her choice to calm down into an act of heroism, redefining what it means to be brave in parenthood.

  2. Why is the song “Somewhere over the Rainbow” so effective in calming Asher and transforming Klein’s mood?
    The song’s melody and lyrics evoke a longing for a place free from trouble, which resonates with both Klein’s and Asher’s exhaustion and frustration. For Klein, the song also carries personal history—she watched The Wizard of Oz as a child—and a layer of tragedy (Judy Garland’s life). The combination of nostalgia, beauty, and shared focus creates a rare moment of connection that lifts them out of the immediate crisis.

  3. What does the ending of The Wizard of Oz symbolize for Klein in relation to motherhood?
    Dorothy’s family dismisses her dream as nonsense, even though the audience knows the dream was real and transformative. Klein sees this as a metaphor for how parents, especially mothers, go through profound emotional journeys that others find boring or irrelevant. She wonders if Dorothy will write down her story—a parallel to Klein’s own need to document and share her experiences, because otherwise they may be forgotten or invalidated.

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