The Broken Watch Symbol in I Fell in Love With Hope

What Is the Broken Watch?

The broken watch is a stopped analog clock with a red leather band that Sam steals from Nurse Eric. In Chapter 8: Countdown, Sam climbs a stepladder to take the non‑functioning timepiece from a hospital wall. Later, they acquire Eric’s own broken watch—the one he kept after it stopped working the night he cried at Sony’s bedside. Sam gives this watch to Hikari as a gift, saying they thought about getting her a fake skull but felt replaced.

The watch itself is never repaired. Its hands remain motionless throughout the story. It appears in two key scenes: as a gift in Chapter 8 and as an object discarded in Chapter 11: Empty.

Where the Watch Recurs

No other character is seen wearing or handling the watch. Eric keeps his own broken watch in a pocket, but only Sam and Hikari interact with the one given as a gift.

How the Meaning Changes

Initially, the broken watch represents a playful rebellion against time and fate. Sam literally steals a stopped clock because they want to “kill our enemies”—the enemies being time, disease, and death. The watch becomes a token of affection, something that celebrates the group’s refusal to obey the limitations of their illnesses. Hikari calls it her favorite gift, and the moment is filled with warmth and mutual stealing of smiles.

By Chapter 11: Empty, the meaning fractures. Sam’s attempt to deny hope by giving a stopped watch is exposed as a defense mechanism. When Hikari throws the watch away, she literally rejects the idea that time can be tricked or denied. The watch now symbolizes the failure of that defense: time cannot be stopped, loss is inevitable, and pretending otherwise only deepens the pain. The broken watch becomes a symbol of the lie Sam has been telling themselves—that if they break watches, they can pretend time is dead.

Later, in Chapter 12: Hope, Sam explicitly connects the watch to hope itself: “Hope is ignorance, a liar… It’s a lie we tell ourselves so that we can break watches and pretend time is dead.” The watch thus evolves from a symbol of rebellion to a symbol of denial, and finally to a catalyst for the story’s central question: can hope exist without lying about death?

Character Connections

• Sam: Gives the watch to Hikari as a gesture of love and as a way to “kill time.” Sam has lost a first love and fears losing again. The broken watch embodies their struggle to accept that they cannot control or stop time, and that hope requires vulnerability.

• Hikari: Receives the watch and initially cherishes it. Later, she throws it away when Sam accuses her of giving false hope. Her act of discarding the watch is a refusal to let hope be reduced to a lie. She forces Sam to confront their own fear of loving and losing.

• Eric: The nurse whose broken watch Sam steals. Eric kept the watch after it stopped the night he cried at Sony’s bedside. He cannot bear to throw away old things. His attachment to a stopped watch mirrors the theme of memory: holding onto something that no longer functions can still be meaningful.

Theme Connections

The broken watch is most directly linked to the themes of hope and despair and rebellion against fate. It also touches on grief and memory because the watch is a physical object that holds emotional weight from a moment of grief (Eric’s tears). The act of stealing the watch is a small rebellion, but its broken state foreshadows that the characters cannot ultimately outrun their diagnoses.

The watch also plays into the theme of love and chosen family: the gift is given freely between friends who have chosen each other. And because the watch is a stopped, imperfect object, it reflects the theme of identity and brokenness—the idea that broken things have souls and can still be loved.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does Sam give Hikari a broken watch instead of a working one?
   Sam gives the broken watch as a symbolic gesture of stopping time. They want to protect Hikari—and themselves—from the inevitable losses ahead. The watch is a way to pretend that time is dead, so that the future cannot hurt them. However, this act also exposes Sam’s fear of hope. They would rather give a token that denies time than one that promises a future they cannot guarantee.

2. What does Hikari’s act of throwing the watch away reveal about her character?
   Hikari has already attempted suicide and carries scars from self‑harm. When she discards the watch, she is rejecting the notion that hope must be a lie. She refuses to let Sam reduce hope to something false. For Hikari, hope is not about pretending time is dead; it is about loving people fully despite the certainty of loss. Her action forces Sam to see that their cynicism is also a kind of denial.

3. How does the broken watch connect to Sam’s past loss on the bridge?
   Sam lost their first love on a bridge—the person who asked to be remembered and walked into darkness. That loss left Sam convinced that hope is useless. The broken watch is an extension of that pain: by giving a stopped watch, Sam tries to control time in a way they could not on the bridge. When Hikari throws it away, Sam is forced to relive that helplessness and ultimately accept that love and loss are intertwined.

4. In what ways does the watch’s meaning change from the beginning to the end of the novel?
   Initially, the broken watch is a playful token of rebellion and affection. By the argument on the rooftop, it becomes a symbol of Sam’s refusal to hope. After Hikari discards it, the watch is never seen again, but its meaning has shifted: it now represents the challenge of learning to love without false promises. By the end, characters like Hikari and Sam learn that hope is not about breaking watches—it is about holding onto love even when time continues.