Chapter 37: Soledad and Judah's First Night Together

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Soledad and Judah are alone in his bedroom. She feels self-conscious and prattles about a comforter dupe and her dry lips, nearly fleeing to find lip balm. Judah stops her, gently asking if she is sure she wants to proceed. Soledad admits she is nervous; she has not been with anyone except Edward since college, and their sex life was nearly nonexistent for the last two years of the marriage. Judah reveals he has been divorced from Tremaine for nearly four years and has abstained from casual sex. Their conversation grows more intimate: Soledad confesses she has masturbated thinking about Judah since the Christmas party. They undress each other. Judah worships her body, focusing on her breasts, and then performs oral sex, bringing Soledad to two orgasms. After, he joins her on the bed, uses a condom he bought after the Harvest Festival, and they have intercourse in multiple positions. During penetration, Soledad briefly recalls Edward’s cruel comment about her body being “loose,” but the physical connection with Judah feels healing. The chapter ends with both of them vulnerable and emotionally open, recognizing something new and fierce growing between them.

Key Events

Soledad’s nervousness leads to awkward small talk about a duvet and lip balm, and she tries to leave the room.
Judah reassures her that they do not have to proceed, and Soledad affirms her desire.
They exchange histories: Soledad’s near‑celibacy with Edward and Judah’s four‑year abstinence after divorce.
Soledad confesses she has fantasized about Judah since their first meeting.
Judah undresses Soledad and gives her oral sex, resulting in two intense orgasms.
Judah uses a condom he bought weeks earlier, showing his long‑held hope.
During intercourse, Soledad overcomes an intrusive memory of Edward’s hurtful remark about her body.
After multiple positions and mutual climax, they share tender kisses and words of praise.
Soledad falls asleep in Judah’s arms, sensing that a new emotional bond has begun.

Character Development

Soledad moves from anxiety and verbal clumsiness to vulnerability, finally verbally acknowledging her high sex drive and her past shame about it. She confronts her insecurities about her post‑pregnancy body and the lasting sting of Edward’s criticism. By the end, she experiences both physical pleasure and emotional release, allowing herself to feel hope for a new relationship.

Judah demonstrates patience, consent, and attentiveness. He gently stops her flight, clarifies her consent, and then focuses on her pleasure. His confession of abstinence and his purchase of condoms weeks in advance reveal his intentionality and emotional investment. His reaction to her body—finding her “fantastic” despite her perceived flaws—contrasts sharply with Edward’s cruelty.

Edward (off‑page) remains a negative influence through Soledad’s internal memory of his dismissive words about her body, underscoring the emotional abuse she endured.

Tremaine (mentioned only) is Judah’s ex‑wife, referenced to establish his own history of long‑term monogamy and his reasons for avoiding casual sex.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Vulnerability and Nervousness: Soledad’s rambling about a comforter dupe and lip balm symbolizes her fear of judgment and the emotional risk of intimacy after years of rejection.
Consent and Communication: Judah’s repeated check‑ins (“We don’t have to do this,” “You okay?”) show a model of enthusiastic, ongoing consent.
Body Image and Healing: Soledad’s stretch marks, mommy pouch, and her shame about not waxing are met with Judah’s acceptance (“I want you however you come”). This motif counters Edward’s earlier body‑shaming and represents emotional and physical healing.
Reclaiming Sexuality: Soledad re‑connects with her own desires after years of neglect. Her confession about masturbating and her eventual multiple orgasms signal a reclamation of her sexual agency.
“Fallow Ground”: The final metaphor of a shoot breaking through fallow ground symbolizes the fragile, new growth of trust and love after a period of emotional barrenness.

Why This Chapter Matters

Chapter 37 is a pivotal turning point in Soledad’s romantic arc. It marks the first time she has been physically intimate with anyone other than Edward in nearly two decades, and the experience is portrayed as an act of healing, not mere lust. The chapter explicitly contrasts Judah’s respectful, passionate attention with Edward’s neglect and cruelty. It also deepens the central romance of the novel by moving the relationship from emotional closeness to physical consummation while maintaining the characters’ individuality and vulnerability. This scene sets the stage for a more serious commitment between Soledad and Judah.

Study Questions & Answers

1. How does Soledad’s nervousness in this chapter reflect her past relationship with Edward?
Her nervous prattling and near‑flight show the lingering effects of emotional rejection. Edward had repeatedly dismissed her desires, leaving her insecure about initiating intimacy. Judah’s patience helps her feel safe enough to proceed.

2. Why does the author include the memory of Edward’s comment “Things get loose down there”?
That memory abruptly intrudes during intercourse, illustrating how trauma from verbal abuse can surface even in a loving moment. By having Judah’s actual experience contradict Edward’s cruelty, the chapter symbolically rewrites Soledad’s body narrative toward healing.

3. What does the condom Judah bought weeks before reveal about his character?
It shows his hopefulness and intent from early in their acquaintance. Despite being a private, disciplined man, he allowed himself to plan for a future with Soledad, which underscores his emotional investment and contrasts with Edward’s neglect.