Chapter 33: Judah – Summary and Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

A week after their kiss at the party, Judah is packing for a trip to visit his parents when Soledad arrives at his house unannounced. She brings homemade pasteles and coquito as holiday gifts. Despite her initial hesitation, she agrees to stay for a few minutes. Over food and drink, they trade stories about their families: Judah describes his father’s career as an FBI agent and his mother’s work as a nurse, and he explains the challenges of raising his autistic sons, Adam and Aaron, with his ex-wife Tremaine. Soledad shares details about her sisters Lola and Nayeli. The conversation turns to the kiss they shared; both admit they have thought about it often. Judah reveals he made a “Me List” inspired by Soledad’s public journey of self-discovery. He then takes her hand, intending to show her the list.

Key Events

Soledad arrives at Judah’s house with pasteles and coquito, holiday treats she made with her family.
Judah invites her inside; she agrees to stay for “ten tops” but ends up staying longer.
They eat together and discuss their families: Judah’s parents, his sons’ autism diagnoses, and his past marriage.
Soledad mentions that this is her first Christmas with Edward in prison, and Judah avoids talking about Edward.
Both acknowledge they have been thinking about their kiss, and Judah learns he is not alone in wanting more.
Judah confesses he created a “Me List” of his own, inspired by Soledad.
The chapter ends with Judah taking Soledad’s hand to show her the list.

Character Development

Judah opens up about his vulnerabilities, including the stress of parenting neurodivergent children and the practical sacrifices he and Tremaine made. He admits that his entire life has revolved around his sons and job, and that Soledad’s example has encouraged him to prioritise his own happiness. His willingness to show her his private list signals trust and emotional risk.

Soledad lets her guard down by visiting Judah alone and staying to talk. She moves from cautious distance to honest sharing, especially about her past and her sister’s unrequited love. Her admission that she has thought about the kiss confirms her own attraction and struggle with discipline.

Both characters demonstrate growth: Soledad in claiming her desires, and Judah in allowing himself to want something beyond his usual responsibilities.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Food as connection: The pasteles and coquito are not just gifts; they represent Soledad’s culture, her family traditions, and her willingness to share a piece of herself. The shared meal becomes an intimate act.
The “Me List” as self-discovery: Judah adopting Soledad’s concept reinforces the theme of personal reinvention after loss or stagnation. His list symbolises a shift from total self-sacrifice to acknowledging his own needs.
Parenting and sacrifice: Judah’s description of the uneven developmental milestones of Adam and Aaron highlights the theme that love for disabled children often demands total dedication, but that devotion can come at a cost to the parent’s identity.
Communication and vulnerability: Both characters openly discuss the kiss and their lingering feelings, moving beyond the unspoken tension of previous chapters.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter deepens the emotional intimacy between Judah and Soledad. Their conversation moves past surface-level flirting into genuine sharing about family, personal struggles, and the difficulty of balancing caregiving with self-care. Judah’s confession about his “Me List” ties directly to Soledad’s earlier journey and shows how she has influenced him. The physical act of taking her hand at the end signals a deliberate step toward a more romantic connection, setting up the next chapter’s potential for further closeness.

Study Questions and Answers

Why does Judah initially resist calling Soledad after their kiss, and what does this reveal about his character?
Judah resists calling because he does not want to pressure her or crowd her; he is resigned to maintaining a “friends-at-a-distance” arrangement. This reveals his respect for her boundaries and his willingness to exercise discipline over his own desires, even though he thinks about her constantly.
How does Judah’s description of parenting Adam and Aaron illustrate the theme of sacrifice?
Judah explains that development for his sons has not been linear—Adam excels academically but cannot tie his shoes, while Aaron has bodily intelligence but cannot ride a bike. He and Tremaine had to alternate staying home, taking freelance work, and missing career opportunities. His account shows that parents of disabled children often sacrifice personal ambition and career growth out of love and necessity.
What is the significance of Judah revealing his “Me List” to Soledad?
By adopting Soledad’s concept, Judah demonstrates that her influence has changed his perspective on self-worth. Showing her the list is an intimate gesture that confirms his trust in her and his desire to share parts of his life he has kept private. It also reinforces the story’s central theme: that both characters are learning to value their own happiness.