Chapter 37 Summary, Analysis, and Study Guide
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
Connie Johnson, serving time in prison, reflects on the lack of vitamin D and plans a future holiday in the Maldives or St. Lucia. She recalls her only two trips abroad: a school trip to Dieppe where a teacher behaved inappropriately, and a journey to Amsterdam locked in a car boot after a dispute with two brothers. Despite prison restrictions, she enjoys privileges: a weekly vegetable delivery, a sparkling-water machine, and contacts in the kitchen who can make something of parsnips and aubergines. She acknowledges that money and VIP status make prison more bearable.
Connie thinks about Ibrahim, the therapist, and notes that she has never spoken to anyone the way she speaks with him. She wonders what honesty feels like and reflects on how she usually presents different faces to different people. She passes a cell being hosed down and climbs to Heather Garbutt's landing. Heather's cell remains empty due to the internal investigation into her death. Connie enters and begins searching for hidden writing. She knocks on walls, checks the toilet U-bend, and then upends the bunk beds. She pulls stoppers from three hollow metal legs, finding nothing. She considers giving up, thinking about her lifelong habit of deceiving others and the possibility that she has been lying to herself about being “plain bad.” She decides to stop seeing Ibrahim, but then pulls the fourth stopper and finds rolled pages tied with a rubber band. The pages contain neat handwriting in blue ink, beginning with a line about hearing birds through bars. It appears to be a poem, not a confession. Connie decides to show the poem to Ibrahim in one more session.
Key Events
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Connie reflects on her prison conditions and privileges, including a vegetable delivery and sparkling water.
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She recalls her two trips abroad and plans a future holiday.
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She considers her unusual honesty with Ibrahim and her habit of wearing different faces.
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She enters Heather Garbutt's empty cell to search for hidden writing.
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She searches walls and toilet, then upends the bunk beds.
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She finds nothing in the first three bed legs and nearly gives up.
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She discovers rolled pages in the fourth leg, which turn out to be a poem.
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She decides to show the poem to Ibrahim.
Character Development
Connie's internal monologue reveals a growing self-awareness. She acknowledges that she has always presented different versions of herself to achieve specific outcomes—to scare, to seduce, or to get favors. Yet with Ibrahim, she feels a different kind of connection, one that involves honesty. She begins to question her long-held belief that she is simply “plain bad,” wondering if that is a story she has told herself to avoid confronting her actions. The mirror metaphor Ibrahim uses—that he is providing a mirror for her to see herself—resonates with her, and she admits that fooling everyone ultimately means fooling herself. Her decision to continue seeing Ibrahim, at least to share the poem, suggests she is not ready to close the door he has opened.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
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Self-deception and identity: Connie's reflection on the faces she wears and her fear that she has been lying to herself about her nature.
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The mirror metaphor: Ibrahim's approach of letting Connie speak to herself, helping her see her own reflection.
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Strengths and weaknesses: Ibrahim's observation that great strengths are also great weaknesses, which Connie cannot stop thinking about.
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Search for truth: Connie's physical search of Heather's cell parallels her internal search for truth about herself.
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Poetry as clue: The poem found in the bed leg suggests that Heather's message is encoded or symbolic, not a straightforward confession.
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Prison conditions and privilege: Connie's ability to obtain luxuries highlights the inequalities within the prison system.
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Moral ambiguity: Connie's acknowledgment that she is “plain bad” is complicated by her capacity for self-reflection and her willingness to help solve a murder.
Why This Chapter Matters
This chapter advances the investigation into Heather Garbutt's death and the murder of Bethany Waites. Connie's discovery of the poem provides a new piece of evidence that could be crucial, though its meaning is not yet clear. It also deepens Connie's character arc, showing her grappling with her identity and her relationship with Ibrahim. The chapter sets up a future session where Connie will share the poem, potentially leading to new revelations. It also reinforces the novel's themes of deception and the search for truth, both externally and internally.
Study Questions and Answers
1. Why does Connie decide to show the poem to Ibrahim despite her earlier intention to stop seeing him?
Connie initially decides to stop seeing Ibrahim because she fears confronting the possibility that she has been lying to herself about being “plain bad.” However, after finding the poem, she recognizes that it might be helpful in solving the case, and she feels in her bones that it could be significant. She decides to do one more session to show him the poem, suggesting that her curiosity and desire to understand the mystery outweigh her fear of self-examination.
2. How does the mirror metaphor Ibrahim uses affect Connie's thinking?
Ibrahim tells Connie that he is providing a mirror, letting her speak to herself and see herself. This metaphor makes Connie realize that if she is fooling everyone, she is really only fooling herself. It also connects to his observation that great strengths are also great weaknesses. Connie cannot stop thinking about this, and it leads her to question her long-held belief that she is simply bad. The mirror forces her to consider that her ability to deceive others has also blinded her to her own truth.
3. What does Connie's search of Heather's cell reveal about her character?
Connie's search is methodical and thorough, showing her resourcefulness and determination. She checks walls, the toilet, and the bed legs, not giving up until she finds something. This persistence contrasts with her earlier thoughts about giving up on self-reflection. It also shows that she is willing to use her skills for a purpose that might help solve a murder, even if she is not entirely sure of her motives. Her decision to share the poem with Ibrahim indicates a willingness to collaborate, at least temporarily, with someone she respects.
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