Chapter summaries The Bullet That Missed Richard Osman

Chapter 2 Summary, Key Events, and Character Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Chapter 2 opens inside the mind and cell of Connie Johnson, a woman who runs a multimillion-pound drugs empire despite being incarcerated. The chapter establishes that running such an operation from prison is difficult but far from impossible. Most of the prison staff are on her payroll, accepting her money in exchange for cooperation. A stubborn minority of guards refuse to play along, and Connie has already been forced to swallow two illegal SIM cards this week to keep them out of the wrong hands.

Connie reflects on how she ended up here: she was skilfully framed, with diamonds, murders, and a bag of cocaine all arranged to make her look guilty. Her trial is set for two months away, and she is determined to keep her operation running smoothly until then. She is not certain whether she will be found guilty, but she chooses to err on the side of optimism. Her mother's advice—plan for success—sticks with her, even though her mother died shortly after giving it, struck by an uninsured van.

Routine, Connie believes, is essential in prison. So is having things to look forward to. Chief among her anticipated pleasures is killing Bogdan, the man responsible for her imprisonment. Despite his striking eyes, which she compares to mountain pools, she intends to have him killed. She has also identified the older man who helped Bogdan set her up: Ron Ritchie. Both men will die, but not yet. Connie knows that juries take a dim view of witnesses being murdered, so she plans to wait until after her trial concludes before exacting her revenge.

While scrolling on her phone, Connie notices that one of the men who works in the prison admin block is on Tinder. He is balding and poses next to what appears to be a Volvo, but she swipes right anyway. The match is immediate. She reasons that you never know when people might become useful.

Connie has also done some research on Ron Ritchie. She learns he was famous back in the 1970s and 1980s. Looking at a photo of him on her phone, she sees a man with the face of an unsuccessful boxer, shouting into a megaphone—clearly someone who enjoyed the limelight. She thinks to herself that Ritchie will be famous again by the time she is finished with him.

The chapter closes with Connie's resolve: she will do anything to spend as little time in prison as possible, and once she is out, the mayhem can truly begin. Sometimes, she reflects, you simply have to be patient. Through her barred window she gazes out over the prison yard and the hills beyond, then switches on her Nespresso machine.

Key Events

  • Connie's prison-based criminal operation is established, with most staff bribed and cooperative.

  • Connie swallows two illegal SIM cards to keep them from uncooperative guards.

  • Her trial date is set for two months away; she was framed with diamonds, murders, and cocaine.

  • Connie identifies Bogdan and Ron Ritchie as the men who set her up and plans to kill them both after the trial.

  • She matches with a balding prison admin worker on Tinder, viewing him as a potential future asset.

  • Connie researches Ron Ritchie and learns he was a celebrity in the 1970s and 1980s.

  • She resolves to leave prison as quickly as possible and then unleash mayhem.

Character Development

Connie Johnson emerges as a formidable antagonist in this chapter. She is resourceful, running a major criminal enterprise from a cell, and pragmatic enough to bribe most staff while managing the few who resist. Her optimism is not naive but strategic—she plans for success even when the odds are uncertain. She is also patient, deliberately postponing her revenge until after the trial to avoid antagonising a jury. Her willingness to swipe right on a balding admin worker shows her opportunistic mindset: she collects people as potential tools, never wasting a connection. The chapter also reveals her flair for dramatic menace, as when she imagines making Ron Ritchie famous again.

Bogdan is mentioned but not present. He is defined by his role as Connie's betrayer and by his distinctive eyes, which Connie acknowledges even as she plans his death.

Ron Ritchie is introduced indirectly through Connie's research. He was once famous, with a face like an unsuccessful boxer and a habit of shouting into a megaphone. His past celebrity makes him a more interesting target, and Connie's promise to make him famous again foreshadows a public reckoning.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Control from confinement. The chapter's central tension is that Connie wields enormous power despite being physically imprisoned. She controls staff, runs a drugs gang, and plans murders from her cell. The barred window and the hills beyond symbolise the boundary between her current limits and the freedom she intends to reclaim.

Patience as a weapon. Connie explicitly reflects that sometimes you have to be patient. Her decision to wait until after the trial before killing Bogdan and Ritchie demonstrates that her revenge is calculated, not impulsive.

Optimism as survival strategy. Connie's mother's advice to plan for success frames her outlook. Even in prison, facing a possible guilty verdict, Connie chooses to believe in a favourable outcome. The darkly comic detail of her mother's death by uninsured van undercuts the sentiment with Osman's characteristic humour.

Routine and forward momentum. Connie values routine in prison and, more importantly, things to look forward to. Her revenge plans give her purpose and structure, turning her incarceration into a waiting game rather than a dead end.

Opportunism and manipulation. The Tinder match with the admin worker illustrates Connie's habit of collecting people who might prove useful. She swipes right not out of interest but out of calculation, a motif that will likely recur as the plot develops.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter introduces the novel's primary antagonist and establishes the stakes for the rest of the story. Connie Johnson is not a passive prisoner waiting for justice; she is an active, dangerous force who runs a criminal empire from her cell and plans double murder as a post-trial project. Her connection to Bogdan—a character readers may already know from earlier in the series—creates immediate tension, while her discovery of Ron Ritchie ties the older generation of characters into her revenge scheme.

The chapter also sets a timeline: the trial is two months away, and Connie's release (or conviction) will shape everything that follows. Her promise to make Ron Ritchie famous again hints at a public confrontation, and her Tinder match with a prison admin worker plants a seed for future manipulation. For readers, this chapter transforms Connie from a name into a fully realised threat, making her a compelling counterweight to the book's usual cast of amateur detectives.

Study Questions and Answers

1. How does Connie maintain control of her criminal enterprise from prison?

Connie keeps her operation running by bribing most of the prison staff, ensuring their cooperation. She manages the few guards who resist by hiding contraband—such as the two SIM cards she swallows—and she uses her phone to stay connected, as shown by her Tinder activity and her research on Ron Ritchie. Her control is a mix of money, cunning, and a willingness to take risks.

2. Why does Connie delay killing Bogdan and Ron Ritchie until after her trial?

Connie understands that juries are less likely to convict someone who murders witnesses during a trial. By waiting until the verdict is delivered, she avoids giving the prosecution an easy reason to find her guilty. Her patience is strategic: she wants her freedom first, and revenge second.

3. What does the Tinder match with the prison admin worker reveal about Connie's methods?

The match shows that Connie treats every person as a potential asset. She swipes right on a balding man posing with a Volvo not because she is interested in him, but because she believes people can always come in handy. This reflects her broader approach to relationships: she collects contacts, gathers information, and waits for the right moment to use them.

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