Dad (Fern's Father) in Strong Female Character: Character Analysis

Overview: A Father Who Cannot Read the Room (or His Daughter)

In Strong Female Character, Fern Brady's father—referred to throughout simply as Dad—is a quiet but persistent presence in her story. He is a Scottish mechanic who works in London and commutes home, a man of few emotional words and many literal ones. On the surface, he seems like a secondary figure next to the more volatile, guilt-ridden mother, but his role is crucial: he embodies the undiagnosed, male-coded autism that Fern only recognises after her own late diagnosis. His dismissive response to her autism diagnosis becomes a viral anecdote and a turning point in the memoir, but he is not a villain. He is a man who, like Fern, struggles with social cues, emotional expression, and the unspoken rules of family life—yet unlike Fern, he never gets the language to understand why.

This analysis traces Dad's appearances across the memoir, examines his motivations and traits as shown through his actions, and connects his character to the book's central themes of late diagnosis, masking, and family misunderstanding. Where the text leaves room for interpretation, that is flagged explicitly.

Plot Role: The Flatlining Emotional Counterweight

Dad appears at key junctures in Fern's life, often as a foil to her mother's more demonstrative reactions. In the opening chapter, Fern tells him about her autism diagnosis during a routine phone call. His response—asking what she had for dinner—becomes the catalyst for her viral tweet and, indirectly, for her public acceptance of her identity. He is also present during her teenage years: he participates in the infamous fake police arrest over marijuana, he kicks her out of the house during arguments, and he is the one who calls to tell her that her grandfather has had a stroke.

In each scene, Dad's behaviour is consistent: he is emotionally flat, literal, and prone to deflecting serious topics with mundane observations. He does not maliciously dismiss Fern; he simply lacks the capacity to engage with her emotional world. This makes him a tragic figure as much as a frustrating one. His role is not to be the antagonist but to represent the generational and gendered gap in autism recognition—a man who likely shares Fern's neurotype but has never been given the vocabulary to understand it.

Motivations and Traits: Shown Through Actions

Dad's motivations are never explicitly stated, but his actions reveal a man driven by a desire for order, a fear of the unknown, and a profound inability to process emotional information. Several traits stand out:

Literal-mindedness: When Fern says she has been diagnosed with autism, he asks, “Who told you that?” and then pivots to traffic. He later says he doesn't know what a “social cue” is. This is not a joke; it is a genuine admission of his own cognitive framework.
Avoidance of emotional intensity: He responds to Fern's teenage depression by shouting to her mother that she will be “put in bloody Carstairs,” a high-security psychiatric hospital. This is a panic response, not a considered opinion—he reaches for the most extreme, concrete outcome because he cannot process the nuance of mental illness.
Pragmatic care: Despite his emotional distance, he shows love through practical actions. He texts Fern to ask where she is when she has been kicked out, he drives her home from a shift, and he is the one who delivers the news about her grandfather's stroke. He does not say “I love you,” but he shows up.
Overreaction and suspicion: The fake arrest is a prime example. Convinced Fern is using drugs because she is withdrawn and sleeping a lot, he and her mother stage an elaborate police interrogation. When Fern denies it, he is genuinely baffled. His inability to consider alternative explanations—like autism-related burnout—leads to a disastrous misreading of her behaviour.
Bluntness and lack of filter: Fern notes that she and her father both “run into trouble at work for pointedly telling people when they were in the wrong.” This shared trait is a key piece of evidence for the inherited nature of their neurotype.

These traits are not presented as excuses; they are simply the facts of his character. Fern's narration often oscillates between frustration and a kind of resigned acceptance, recognising that her father is “not capable” of the emotional response she craves.

Chronological Arc: From Panic to Stasis

Dad's arc is less about change and more about Fern's changing perception of him.

Early childhood: He is largely absent from the early chapters, but his reaction to Fern's depression at fifteen—the Carstairs comment—shows his panic and helplessness. He does not know how to help, so he reaches for the worst-case scenario.
Teenage years: The fake arrest is a low point. Fern describes it as one of the “dumbest things” her parents have done. Dad's role in the interrogation is to deliver the final warning about a boy who died from marijuana, which Fern finds absurd. This incident cements her resolve to cut her parents out of her life. Later, when she tells him she has told the school about being kicked out, he calls her a “cunt” and hits her—a moment of raw, uncharacteristic anger that shocks Fern.
Early adulthood: Dad fades into the background as Fern moves to Edinburgh and then London. He is present during the grandfather's stroke, where he delivers the news with characteristic brevity. Fern's reaction—crying in the shower—contrasts with his flat delivery, but she does not criticise him for it; she simply notes it.
Post-diagnosis: The phone call about autism is the pivotal scene. Dad's response is so absurd that Fern tweets about it, and the tweet goes viral. This moment forces Fern to confront the possibility that her father is also autistic. She does not pursue a diagnosis for him, but she begins to reinterpret his behaviour through this new lens.
Later reflections: In the final chapter, Fern's reconciliation is primarily with her mother. Dad is notably absent from the Mexican restaurant scene. This absence is telling: the emotional work of the memoir is done with the mother, while the father remains an unresolved, static figure. Fern does not seek closure with him; she simply accepts that he is who he is.

Relationships: A Strained but Not Broken Bond

The father-daughter relationship is defined by miscommunication and a mutual lack of understanding. Fern describes how she can shout at her dad because his emotional response is “flatlining”—she does not have to tiptoe around his moods as she does with her mother. This makes him a safer target for her frustration, but it also means she never gets the validation she seeks.

Dad's relationship with Fern's mother is presented as a united front, but with distinct roles: the mother is the emotional, guilt-ridden one; the father is the practical, literal one. They both fail to recognise Fern's autism, but the mother eventually apologises and works toward understanding, while the father does not.

There is a subtle thread of care beneath the distance. When Fern is kicked out, Dad texts to ask where she is. When she is working at Tesco, he comes to pick her up. These are small, unspoken gestures that suggest he does love her, but he lacks the emotional vocabulary to express it. Fern's own diagnosis helps her see this: she recognises that her father's bluntness and social obliviousness are not cruelty but a shared neurotype.

Key Decisions and Consequences

Dad's decisions are often reactive and poorly thought out, with significant consequences for Fern.

The fake arrest: This decision backfires spectacularly. Instead of forcing a confession, it convinces Fern that her parents are irrational and untrustworthy. She vows to cut them out of her life and, in a direct consequence, begins doing the very things they accused her of—smoking weed and having sex in the family home.
The Carstairs comment: This panic response, though not a decision, shapes Fern's perception of her parents' inability to understand her mental health. It contributes to her sense of isolation and her later reluctance to seek help.
The dismissal of the autism diagnosis: By asking about dinner, Dad inadvertently triggers Fern's viral tweet and her eventual public acceptance of her identity. While he does not intend this, his reaction forces Fern to confront the reality that her father is likely autistic too, which becomes a key part of her own self-understanding.
The physical blow: When Fern threatens to involve social services, Dad hits her. This is a moment of violence that Fern does not dwell on, but it underscores the breakdown in communication. It is a consequence of his inability to process his own anger and fear.

These decisions are not malicious, but they are damaging. Fern's memoir does not excuse them; it contextualises them within a family that lacked the tools to understand her.

Theme Connections: The Unseen Autistic Father

Dad is a living embodiment of the book's central theme: late autism diagnosis and male-centric diagnostic criteria. While Fern is diagnosed in her thirties, her father has likely been autistic his whole life without any recognition. His literal-mindedness, his bluntness, his difficulty with social cues—all of these are classic autistic traits that were never flagged because they were seen as “just how he is.” The memoir suggests that autism in men is often dismissed as eccentricity or bluntness, while in women it is pathologised or missed entirely.

Dad also connects to the theme of masking and autistic burnout. Fern learns to mask her traits to survive in social and professional settings, but her father never learns to mask at all. He is consistently himself, which makes him socially isolated in his own way. Fern's description of his flat emotional responses suggests a man who has never had to perform neurotypicality, but who also suffers from the consequences of not understanding others.

The theme of family misunderstanding and reconciliation is more complex. Fern reconciles with her mother, but not with her father. The memoir does not offer a neat resolution; instead, it leaves Dad as a figure of unresolved tension. This is realistic and honest—reconciliation is not always possible, and some relationships remain strained despite understanding.

Finally, Dad's character touches on misdiagnosis and medical gaslighting. Fern is misdiagnosed with OCD and depression, and a psychiatrist dismisses autism because she makes eye contact. Her father's undiagnosed autism is a parallel: he is never misdiagnosed because he is never assessed at all. His traits are simply absorbed into his identity as a “difficult” or “blunt” man.

Five Book-Specific Questions and Answers

1. How does Dad react when Fern tells him about her autism diagnosis?

He responds by asking who told her, then immediately changes the subject to traffic in London. When Fern presses him, he asks what she had for dinner. He never acknowledges the diagnosis or asks how she feels. Fern later tweets about this, and the tweet goes viral.

2. What does Dad's reaction reveal about his own character?

It reveals his profound literal-mindedness and inability to process emotional information. He does not understand what a “social cue” is, and he treats the diagnosis as a mundane piece of news. Fern interprets this as evidence that he is likely autistic himself, though this is her interpretation, not a confirmed fact.

3. Why does Dad participate in the fake police arrest over marijuana?

He and Fern's mother are convinced Fern is using drugs because she is withdrawn, sleeping a lot, and acting “spaced out.” They stage the arrest to force a confession. When Fern denies it, they eventually admit it was a ruse. Dad later explains that Fern was acting oddly, and he thought the best way to address it was to scare her into telling the truth.

4. How does Fern's understanding of her father change after her diagnosis?

She begins to see his bluntness, his lack of social awareness, and his flat emotional responses as autistic traits rather than personal failings. She recognises that they share a communication style, and she stops expecting him to respond the way a neurotypical father would. This does not repair their relationship, but it gives her a framework for understanding him.

5. Does Dad ever apologise or reconcile with Fern?

No. The memoir's reconciliation scene is with Fern's mother, who apologises for missing the signs of autism. Dad is absent from that scene and does not appear to seek forgiveness. Fern does not pursue reconciliation with him, and the relationship remains strained and distant at the end of the book.