Chapter 2 Summary and Study Guide
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
Fern Brady opens the chapter by describing Bathgate, a Scottish town she calls a “nothing town” that is often referenced in jokes about decline. She notes the closure of the Leyland plant and the town’s association with economic deprivation. She describes the annual Gala Day, where locals dress up, but she never felt she fit in. From an early age, she experienced what she called “The Bad Feeling of Life,” a constant anxiety that she could not communicate. Her parents often laughed when she said “I don’t know what you mean,” not realizing she was being literal. At nursery, she struggled to speak to other children and often wet herself because she could not ask to go to the toilet. She had a tree as a best friend, which she would circle and talk to, stepping on its roots and patting it.
A girl named Erin, who was in a remedial class, bullied her, calling her “fat” (though Erin’s mother claimed she meant “tall”). Fern felt forced into friendship with Erin because Erin talked to her more than anyone else. She also had a friend named Abby who imposed herself on Fern. Fern wrote letters to Abby to script interactions, asking about boyfriends and trying to control the conversation.
Fern describes a wedding where she was forced into an itchy lace dress and tight braids, leading to a meltdown. She was beaten and sat on. She had sensory sensitivities, scratching herself when touched. She broke her wrist skateboarding in clogs after her mother slapped her. At the GP, the doctor noticed welts from scratching, and her mother worried about social services. Fern learned to hide her stimming. Her mother’s hair-washing routine involved hitting her with a hairdryer to keep her still, and Fern would scratch her head afterward, leading to more punishment.
At school, she was placed in a special class but had an accident (soiled herself) and was moved back. She had a teacher, Mr Rafferty, who was drunk but fun, and brought a badger puppet that Fern believed was real. When she discovered it was a puppet, she was devastated. After Mr Rafferty left, she fell into depression. At age eight, she attempted to hang herself with a dressing-gown cord but gave up. She disliked The Hobbit and hid her own books behind it. She ate lunch in the toilets because it felt calmer, but was scolded for it.
She describes her grandmothers: Toodaloo, her father’s mother, who was harsh and used Catholicism to judge others, slapping Fern for saying she did not want children. Her maternal grandmother was kinder but had odd views, disapproving of tampons. Fern started her period at eleven and hid it for three months.
Key Events
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Fern describes Bathgate and its decline.
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She experiences “The Bad Feeling of Life” and constant anxiety.
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At nursery, she struggles to communicate and wets herself.
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She has a tree as a best friend.
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Erin bullies her, but Fern considers her a friend.
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She writes letters to Abby to script interactions.
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At a wedding, she has a sensory meltdown due to an itchy dress and tight hair.
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She scratches herself and breaks her wrist skateboarding in clogs.
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Her mother hits her with a hairdryer during hair washing.
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She is placed in a special class but has an accident.
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Mr Rafferty brings a badger puppet; Fern believes it is real.
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After Mr Rafferty leaves, she becomes depressed and attempts suicide at age eight.
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She dislikes The Hobbit and reads her own books.
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She eats lunch in toilets.
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She describes her grandmothers and their attitudes.
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She starts her period and hides it.
Character Development
Fern is portrayed as anxious, literal, sensory-sensitive, and socially naive. She tries to fit in but fails, often because she takes language and social cues at face value. Her attachment to the tree and later to the badger puppet shows her tendency to form deep connections with objects rather than people, a trait she later recognizes as part of her autism. She is bullied by Erin but lacks the social skills to stand up for herself, instead mirroring the popular girl for safety. Her attempts to script interactions with Abby reveal her need for control in social situations.
Other characters are sketched vividly: Erin is spoiled and cruel, Mr Rafferty is a flawed but kind teacher who provides a rare bright spot, Toodaloo is harsh and judgmental, and the maternal grandmother is affectionate but bound by taboos. Fern’s parents are largely uncomprehending, punishing her for behaviors they see as misbehavior rather than signs of distress.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
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Autistic anxiety as baseline: Fern’s constant “Bad Feeling of Life” is a clear example of how anxiety underpins her daily experience.
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Sensory overload and meltdowns: The wedding incident, the hair-washing routine, and the school dinner hall all trigger overwhelming sensory responses.
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Masking and scripting: Fern’s letters to Abby and her attempts to mimic Scottish vernacular show her trying to perform social norms.
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Connection to objects over people: The tree and the badger puppet serve as symbols of her preference for predictable, non-judgmental companions.
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Literal interpretation: Her confusion over phrases like “lowering your voice” and “the pictures” highlights her literal-mindedness.
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Class distinctions and social hierarchy: Bathgate’s decline, Erin’s wealth, and Toodaloo’s pretensions reflect class tensions.
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Menstrual shame and bodily taboos: The grandmothers’ reactions to tampons and Fern’s hidden period illustrate cultural shame around female bodies.
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Conditional vs unconditional love: Toodaloo’s conditional affection contrasts with the maternal grandmother’s warmth, though both are limited by their beliefs.
Why This Chapter Matters
This chapter establishes the foundation of Fern’s childhood experiences that later lead to her autism diagnosis. It shows how her sensory sensitivities, social difficulties, and literal thinking were misunderstood and punished, shaping her coping mechanisms and self-perception. The chapter also situates her story within a specific cultural and economic context—Scottish working-class Catholicism—that influences family dynamics and attitudes toward disability and gender. It is crucial for understanding the long-term impact of growing up undiagnosed and the resilience she develops.
Study Questions and Answers
Question 1
How does Fern’s relationship with the tree illustrate her autistic traits?
Answer 1
Fern’s attachment to the tree demonstrates her preference for predictable, non-social interactions. She circles it, steps on its roots, and talks to it, finding comfort in routine and sensory input. This reflects common autistic experiences of forming deep bonds with objects and struggling to initiate or sustain peer relationships.
Question 2
What role does scripting play in Fern’s attempts to make friends?
Answer 2
Fern writes letters to Abby with specific questions, such as asking how many boyfriends she has, to control the conversation and avoid uncertainty. This shows her need to script social exchanges because she lacks intuitive social understanding. It is a strategy she later recognizes as a common autistic coping mechanism.
Question 3
How does the chapter portray the family’s response to Fern’s sensory needs?
Answer 3
The family responds punitively: her mother hits her with a hairdryer during hair washing, and she is beaten for scratching herself. Her meltdown at the wedding is met with physical punishment and ridicule. This lack of awareness of autism leads to Fern feeling isolated and believing she is “evil,” rather than receiving support.