Chapter 38 Summary and Analysis
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
Chapter 38 opens with Julia and Mark deep in the fog of new parenthood. Their days revolve entirely around baby Ben, and the two adults spend nearly every waking moment together in their apartment. Mark is on paternity leave from AllAboard, and Julia rarely leaves the house; when she does, it's only for brief, invented errands, because being alone now makes her anxious. She has sent a small envelope of photos to her mother, but otherwise their world is small: Mark's parents visited for a week after the birth, and there have been occasional visitors bearing tiny socks and casseroles, but mostly it's just the three of them.
One evening in late March, they take Ben to Loyola Beach. Mark wears the baby in a carrier, and they walk barefoot, holding their shoes. Julia is due back at her job at Harold Washington the following month, and she's torn between wanting adult conversation and dreading any time away from Ben. She loves him with an intensity that sometimes frightens her, and she worries that her anxiety is somehow affecting him. She has developed a mantra—It's okay—which she murmurs to Ben constantly, and sometimes to herself when he's asleep.
On the walk home, they spot a woman on the front steps of their building: Julia's mother, Anita. Julia stops mid-sidewalk, stunned. Anita announces she's just passing through, heading to Columbus to sort out belongings left to her by Ron, the man she lived with for three years, who has recently died. She hasn't been to Chicago in over ten years. Mark introduces himself and tries to be welcoming, inviting Anita to dinner and offering her a place to stay. Julia, however, is guarded and uncomfortable. She declines the invitation, saying she needs to feed Ben.
Anita produces a crumpled yellow gift bag containing a stuffed giraffe. When Julia hesitates to take it, Anita makes a cutting remark about Julia's manners, and then, as she's leaving, delivers a cruel comment about Julia's postpartum weight, telling her she may want to lay off the pasta. She kisses Ben's cheek, hugs Julia awkwardly, and walks off down the street.
Julia rushes inside, crying, and nurses Ben in his room. Mark tries to comfort her, but she doesn't want to talk about it. Over dinner, she announces she wants to quit her job and stay home with Ben. Mark gently suggests they take some time to decide, and reassures her that she's nothing like her mother. Julia insists she won't change her mind.
The chapter ends the next day. Mark is at work, Ben is napping, and Julia finally breaks down crying in the laundry room. She had called the bus station earlier, hoping to follow her mother to Columbus, but was told there were no early morning buses that day.
Key Events
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Julia and Mark take Ben to Loyola Beach for an evening walk in late March.
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They return to find Anita waiting on their front steps.
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Anita reveals that Ron, her partner of three years in Columbus, has died and she's going to collect his belongings.
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Mark invites Anita to dinner and offers her a place to stay; Julia declines, saying she needs to feed Ben.
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Anita gives Ben a stuffed giraffe and makes a cutting remark about Julia's weight.
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Anita leaves; Julia cries and nurses Ben.
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Julia tells Mark she wants to quit her job and stay home with Ben.
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Mark suggests they take time to decide.
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The next day, Julia cries in the laundry room after learning there were no early buses to Columbus.
Character Development
Julia is at her most vulnerable in this chapter. New motherhood has amplified her anxieties—she worries constantly about Ben, feels she lacks natural instincts, and fears her own intensity might be unhealthy. Her love for Ben is overwhelming, and she's developed a self-soothing mantra that she repeats to him and to herself. The visit from Anita triggers a cascade of old wounds: the estrangement, the body shame, the fear of abandonment. Her decision to quit her job seems driven less by a clear career choice than by a desperate desire to control her environment and protect her new family from the patterns of her own upbringing.
Mark emerges as a steady, grounding presence. He's patient with Julia's moods, tries to be gracious with Anita despite the awkwardness, and gently pushes back on Julia's impulsive decision to quit her job without dismissing her feelings. His comment that Julia is nothing like her mother shows his awareness of the family dynamics at play, even if he doesn't fully understand them.
Anita is a disruptive force. Her visit is brief but devastating. She's clearly grieving Ron, though she doesn't show it directly. Her compliments are backhanded, her observations cutting. The chapter suggests she may have hoped to stay with Julia, but the invitation comes too late and the visit ends in familiar hurt.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
New parenthood and maternal anxiety: The chapter is steeped in the physical and emotional reality of caring for a newborn—the sleeplessness, the isolation, the obsessive love. Julia's anxiety is palpable; she's in a constant state of alert, always primed for disaster.
Mother-daughter estrangement: Anita's visit dramatizes the distance between Julia and her mother. Anita hasn't been to Chicago in over ten years; Julia didn't know about Ron; their conversation is full of awkward pauses and unspoken resentments.
Generational cycles: Julia's fear of becoming her mother is explicit. She never wants Ben to see the coldness in her eyes that she sees in Anita's. Mark's reassurance that she's nothing like her is both comforting and unconvincing to Julia.
Postpartum body image: Anita's comment about Julia's weight cuts deep, and Julia's internal monologue reveals her shame about her postpartum body.
The It's okay mantra: This repeated phrase functions as a self-soothing ritual, a way for Julia to calm both herself and Ben. It also hints at her underlying fear that things are not, in fact, okay.
The stuffed giraffe: A symbol of Anita's awkward, inadequate attempts at connection—a gift that arrives with cruelty attached.
Why This Chapter Matters
This chapter is pivotal for several reasons. It brings Anita back into Julia's life for the first time in years, re-opening old wounds at a moment when Julia is already emotionally fragile. It also sets up a major decision—Julia's desire to quit her job—that will likely have ripple effects on her marriage and her sense of self. The chapter deepens our understanding of Julia's psychology: her fear of abandonment, her determination to break the cycle with Ben, and her complicated relationship with her mother. The final image—Julia crying in the laundry room, having missed the chance to follow her mother—suggests both regret and relief, and leaves the reader wondering what comes next.
Study Questions and Answers
1. Why does Julia react so strongly to her mother's visit?
Julia's reaction is rooted in years of estrangement and unresolved hurt. Anita's sudden appearance—unannounced, after more than a decade away—forces Julia to confront feelings she's been suppressing. The backhanded compliments, the weight comment, and the awkward hug all reinforce Julia's fear that her mother is incapable of genuine warmth. The visit also triggers Julia's deeper anxiety about becoming like her mother, which is why she immediately pivots to wanting to quit her job and stay home with Ben.
2. What does Julia's decision to quit her job reveal about her state of mind?
Julia's decision is impulsive and emotionally driven. She frames it as wanting to be present for Ben, but the timing—immediately after Anita's visit—suggests it's also about control and protection. She wants to create a different kind of family than the one she grew up in, and staying home feels like a way to ensure that. Mark's gentle pushback, suggesting they take a little time, shows he recognizes the impulsiveness, even as he supports her.
3. How does the chapter use the beach setting to frame the events that follow?
The beach walk is a moment of peace and normalcy—Julia and Mark holding hands, chatting about a stray cat, enjoying their little family. The sand on Julia's feet afterward becomes a marker of how quickly things changed: sand left over from a half hour ago at the beach, when everything was different. The beach represents the fragile happiness Julia is trying to protect, and Anita's arrival shatters it.
Navigation
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