Symbols Not in Love Ali Hazelwood

The Left-Behind Panties: A Symbol of Unfinished Connection in Not in Love

The Panties as a Physical Object

In chapter 11 of Not in Love, after Rue and Eli’s first consensual encounter at his hotel room, Rue uses her dark blue cotton underwear to clean herself of his semen before hurriedly dressing. She then leaves the panties in a heap on the hotel sheets, forgotten in her rush to escape the intensity of the moment. Eli’s eyes fall on them after she closes the door, and he picks them up—a tangible remnant of the woman who just fled.

The panties are ordinary, functional underwear. Their mundanity makes their transformation into a symbol all the more striking. They are not a lover’s token chosen for seduction, but a piece of Rue’s everyday self, accidentally surrendered.

Where the Symbol Recurs

The panties reappear at key points in the narrative, each time carrying a slightly different weight:

  • Chapter 11 (the leaving): Rue departs without them. Eli covers his eyes, then looks at the panties, thinking “once was going to be enough.” The object marks the initial physical encounter and the emotional withdrawal that follows.

  • Chapter 17 (the tease): Eli deliberately brings up the panties when he and Rue meet at a grocery store. He says, “You left something in that hotel room,” and when she remembers, he adds, “The thought never occurred to me…I just wanted a keepsake.” He uses the panties as a reason for her to come to his place, dangling them as bait.

  • Chapter 19 (the negotiation): Rue tells Eli, “You can keep my underwear,” when they are at his home. This marks a shift: she is no longer embarrassed or desperate to reclaim the object. Instead, she tacitly allows him to hold onto it.

  • Later references: In chapter 22, after they have sex again, Eli’s protectiveness of the panties is implied by his earlier statement that they “definitely worked when I used them.” The object remains a private joke between them.

Each recurrence deepens the panties’ symbolic role from mere forgotten item to a talisman of their stalled relationship.

Shifting Meaning Through the Story

Initially, the panties are utilitarian. Rue uses them to clean herself—a practical, even clinical gesture that aligns with her stated desire for a no-strings, “no repeats” arrangement. She leaves them because she is overwhelmed and wants a clean break.

For Eli, the panties fill a different function. He holds onto them not because he wants the underwear itself, but because he wants the possibility of more. They become a keepsake that represents his hope for a continuing connection. When he shows them to Rue in chapter 17, he is testing whether she is open to that possibility. He says, “If you don’t want them back, you can leave them with me—it’s a good home.” The line is deliberately ambiguous: the “home” could be for the panties, or for Rue herself.

By the time Rue tells him to keep them in chapter 19, the meaning has transformed again. She is no longer running; she is willing to let him hold onto a piece of her. The panties cease to be a symbol of her escape and become a marker of their evolving intimacy.

Character Connections: Rue and Eli

Rue Siebert is a woman who guards her independence fiercely. She has a self-imposed “no repeats” rule and struggles with trust. Leaving the panties is a moment of loss of control; she flees not only the hotel room but also the vulnerability of having been completely seen. Later, allowing Eli to keep them signifies a small but crucial surrender of her emotional boundaries. It is one of the ways she begins to let him in, despite her fear that she will never be “easy.”

Eli Killgore is initially drawn to Rue for her fierce indifference. The panties give him something concrete to hold onto when she keeps him at arm’s length. He treats them as a prize, but also as a promise. In chapter 17, his tone is teasing yet earnest: “I just wanted a keepsake.” He uses the object to open a door that Rue had slammed shut. His refusal to throw the panties away shows his optimism and his willingness to wait.

For both characters, the panties become a silent negotiation over how much of themselves they are willing to share. Rue learns that leaving something behind does not have to mean losing it, and Eli learns that holding on too tightly can be a way of caring.

Theme Links

The panties tie directly into several of the novel’s major themes.

  • Trust and betrayal: The panties are a private object that Rue later discovers Eli has been keeping—a secret about his attachment. The object parallels the larger secrecy about Eli’s role at Harkness. By revealing the panties, Eli takes a risk that could either build trust or push Rue further away.

  • Vulnerability and emotional risk: For Rue, forgetting her panties is a moment of unintended vulnerability. Returning to retrieve them—or letting him keep them—requires her to confront that vulnerability rather than run from it.

  • Forbidden attraction vs. loyalty: The panties remind both characters that their personal connection exists against the backdrop of corporate conflict. The object is a small act of rebellion against the professional walls they have built.

  • Found family and unconditional support: Though the panties do not directly involve Rue’s support network, the object’s symbolic acceptance—Eli’s willingness to keep something intimate—echoes how found family often values people for who they are, flaws and all.

Study Questions with Answers

1. Why does Eli keep Rue’s panties instead of throwing them away? Eli keeps them because they are a tangible reminder of Rue and the possibility of a future together. After she flees, he is left longing for more; the panties are the only piece of her he can hold onto. In chapter 17, he admits he wanted “a keepsake.” The object represents his hope that their encounter is not the end.

2. How does Rue’s attitude toward the panties change from chapter 11 to chapter 17? In chapter 11, Rue is unaware she left them because she is so eager to escape the emotional intensity. She probably would not have cared if she noticed. By chapter 17, when Eli brings them up, she is quickly embarrassed but also amused. She does not demand them back, and later she tells him he can keep them. The shift shows she is becoming more comfortable with the idea of being connected to Eli.

3. In what way do the panties symbolize the larger tension between Rue and Eli? The panties represent the unfinished business between them. Rue wants to keep encounters transactional and fleeting; the panties are a literal piece of her that she cannot easily reclaim, just as she cannot easily end their emotional pull. For Eli, the panties are a secret he holds onto, mirroring his secret professional role. The tension is between Rue’s desire for autonomy and Eli’s desire for a deeper connection.

4. How do the panties reappear in the narrative to drive the plot forward? The panties give Eli a reason to contact Rue again after the hotel encounter. In chapter 17, he uses them as an excuse to invite her to his place. Rue’s decision to accept that invitation leads to their second meeting, which deepens their involvement and eventually forces them to address the larger conflicts between them—corporate loyalty, trust, and their growing feelings. Without the panties as a concrete excuse, the plot might have stalled.