The Ice Rink and Hockey in Not in Love: A Symbol of Safety, Vulnerability, and Reconciliation

What the Ice Rink and Hockey Literally Are

In Not in Love, the ice rink is a physical location—a community rink in Austin operated by Coach Dave Lenchantin, where both Rue Siebert and Eli Killgore spent formative years training. For Rue, the rink was the site of her figure skating career; for Eli, it was where he played hockey under Dave’s mentorship. Hockey itself appears as both a sport Eli practices and watches, and as a backdrop for their emotional exchanges.

Where the Symbol Recurs

The ice rink appears across multiple chapters, often as a deliberate meeting ground:

Chapter 25: Rue seeks out Eli at the rink after a frustrating day. Eli is skating alone, and he invites her to join him. She initially refuses, fearing the intimacy of skating together, but the rink becomes a charged space where they confront their unresolved tension.
Chapter 16: Dave’s annual fundraiser is held at the rink. Eli reconnects with Coach Dave and reflects on how hockey saved him as a rebellious teen. Rue is present working a booth, and they have their first “official” meeting, pretending not to know each other.
Chapter 33: Rue watches Wednesday night hockey at Eli’s house. She admits she knows nothing about the rules, but the shared activity—cuddling while he watches—becomes a rare moment of comfort and vulnerability for her.
Chapter 39 (climax): Rue arranges a meeting at the empty rink. She apologizes, confesses her love, and they reconcile. Skating together for the first time symbolizes their willingness to move forward as partners.
Epilogue: One year later, Rue and Eli hike near her inherited cabin—not the rink—but the resolution of their relationship is rooted in the trust they built on the ice.

How the Meaning Changes

The ice rink and hockey evolve from solitary spaces of discipline to shared spaces of emotional risk. Initially, the rink represents Rue’s past—a childhood of aching muscles, parental boredom, and competitive pressure (chapter 25: “It smelled like childhood, and aching muscles”). For Eli, the rink is a refuge where he escapes crowds and works off frustration (chapter 25: “I don’t like crowds”). Hockey, for him, is tied to Coach Dave’s discipline, which provided structure after a troubled home life (chapter 16).

As the story progresses, the rink becomes a neutral ground where Rue and Eli can be honest with each other. In chapter 39, Rue describes skating together as “intimate. Even more than sex.” Her decision to meet him there and finally confess her love transforms the rink from a place of regret and avoidance into a site of reconciliation. The act of skating together—moving in unison “like they were meant to be”—mirrors their emotional synchronicity.

Hockey, too, shifts. In chapter 33, Eli refuses to teach Rue the rules, saying “You’d have learned everything by now if you were interested. You don’t need me imposing my shitty hobbies on you.” He respects her autonomy, placing her comfort above the sport. Later, in chapter 39, hockey gear is forgotten; the rink itself becomes about connection, not competition.

Character Connections

Rue Siebert: Rue was a competitive figure skater with a synchro scholarship to Adrian College. She stopped late in college, partly due to her height and partly because she “was done with the whole thing.” The rink reminds her of her past, but also of Alec’s kindness (bringing her snacks). She uses the rink as a space to face her feelings for Eli, showing growth from guarded to vulnerable.
Eli Killgore: Eli was a hockey player whose natural talent and rebelliousness were channeled by Coach Dave. Hockey gave him structure after family instability. He skates alone to decompress and feels protective of the rink as a personal sanctuary. His offer to skate with Rue—and later his patience during her apology—demonstrates his deep emotional investment.
Coach Dave Lenchantin: A surrogate father figure to Eli, Dave runs the rink and the fundraiser. He represents loyalty and unconditional support, having believed in Eli when no one else did.
Maya Killgore: Eli’s sister also knows Rue from figure skating. She bridges the two worlds, and her discovery of Rue at Eli’s house forces Rue to confront guilt over Florence.
Alec: A former figure skating partner of Rue, and Dave’s partner. Alec’s care for Rue (bringing food) underscores the found-family theme.

Theme Connections

Trust and Betrayal: The rink is where Rue grapples with her distrust of Eli after Florence’s betrayal. She must choose to trust him despite her history. The apology on the ice resolves this tension.
Vulnerability and Emotional Risk: Skating together requires physical and emotional trust. Rue fears being seen, yet she initiates the meeting. Eli risks rejection by showing up.
Intellectual Property and Justice: The subplot of Rue’s patent is resolved off the ice, but Eli’s sacrifice (giving up his Harkness advantage) is discussed during the rink scene, linking fairness to romantic trust.
Forbidden Attraction vs. Loyalty: Rue’s attraction to Eli feels like a betrayal to Florence. The rink provides a neutral space outside of Kline and sex, where they can redefine their connection without guilt.
Found Family and Unconditional Support: Dave and Alec form Eli’s found family. Rue’s inclusion into Eli’s circle—including Maya and Tiny—is cemented at the rink.

Study Questions and Answers

1. How does Rue’s refusal to skate with Eli in chapter 25 contrast with her decision to do so in chapter 39? What does this shift reveal about her character arc?

In chapter 25, Rue refuses Eli’s invitation because she fears that skating together would be too intimate, deepening her betrayal of Florence. She sets limits: “There had to be some limits. I had to set some limits.” By chapter 39, she initiates the skating herself, using it as a “grand gesture” to apologize and declare her love. This shift demonstrates her growth from prioritizing external loyalty (to Florence) to embracing her own desires and trusting Eli. She moves from avoidance to active reconciliation.

2. Why does Eli insist that he will not teach Rue the rules of hockey, and what does this refusal say about his respect for her boundaries?

In chapter 33, Eli says, “You grew up around rinks. You’d have learned everything there is to know about hockey by now if you were interested. You don’t need me imposing my shitty hobbies on you.” He refuses to force his interests on her, honoring her autonomy. This contrasts with other characters who might try to change her; instead, Eli accepts Rue as she is—a sentiment he later voices when he says she is “enough.” His respect allows their relationship to develop on equal terms.

3. How does Coach Dave’s role in Eli’s past mirror the unconditional support that Rue eventually finds from Eli?

Dave provided structure and belief in Eli when he was a defiant teenager, even after Eli showed up wasted to practice (chapter 16). Eli acknowledges that Dave gave him “my entire fucking life, really.” Similarly, Eli provides Rue with unwavering acceptance—cooking for her, comforting her after Florence’s betrayal, and sacrificing his career advantage to secure her patent. Both men offer support without expecting repayment, embodying the found-family theme. The rink, as Dave’s domain, becomes a physical link between these two forms of loyalty.

4. In the climactic rink scene (chapter 39), Rue says she used to believe her story would be a tragedy. How does the act of skating together symbolize the possibility of a nontragic ending?

Rue explains that meeting Eli made her question her binary view of happy versus sad stories. Skating together represents motion, balance, and partnership—they move “in unison” as if they are “meant to be.” The ice, once a place of solitary discipline, becomes a shared space where they write a new narrative. By choosing to skate with Eli instead of alone, Rue physically enacts the idea that her ending does not have to be a tragedy. The scene resolves the novel’s central relational conflict and solidifies the theme that messy, complicated lives can still be happy.

Conclusion

The ice rink and hockey are far more than setting and sport in Not in Love. They are vessels for memory, emotional safety, and ultimate reconciliation. For Rue, the rink holds childhood struggle and Alec’s kindness; for Eli, it holds Dave’s mentorship and hard-won self-control. When they finally skate together, the symbol transforms: the cold, slick ice becomes ground for the warmest kind of human connection—vulnerable, trusting, and enough.