Chapter 5 Summary and Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

The chapter opens with the narrator returning to her basement apartment weighed down by shopping bags from Holistik, the wellness store where she has just started working. Her roommate Alice immediately seizes the bags, eager to unpack the products, and mentions that she spent her day exorcising the spleen of a Nazi from a futon in Tribeca—a remark that makes the narrator realize her own workday might now rival her roommate's in strangeness.

The narrator then offers a portrait of her two roommates. Alice Blanton and Charlie Hess met while each was in another relationship. Alice speaks in a high-pitched, giggly voice and works as a feng shui practitioner who specializes in exorcising intergenerational trauma from furniture. Charlie works in tech security and resells sneakers, clothing, and streetwear as a profitable side business. The narrator notes that between the two of them, they appropriate an impressive number of cultures.

The chapter flashes back to the roommate interview, where the narrator was misled about the apartment. Alice assured her over the phone that the place had windows and was essentially a brownstone, comparing it to Sex and the City. When the narrator revealed her parents are from China, Alice responded with enthusiasm about learning authentic Asian food and culture from her—a moment that reveals Alice's casual cultural appropriation. The windows, it turns out, are on the first floor and only extend to the top of the basement wall; the narrator can't even reach the ledge on tiptoe. When she cleaned them, she found a remarkably clear view of the dark soil into which the building was sinking.

The narrator reflects on Alice's perfectionism, particularly regarding appearance. Alice refuses food so often and so virtuously that the narrator jokes she might be on a subscription service that transfers her uneaten meals to someone else's starving belly. Living with Alice makes the narrator realize how thin her Conservatory classmates were. She wonders whether she was better at the piano than the other girls or simply less hungry—whether nourished bodies might have produced fuller fingertips and a sound that projected farther. She observes that in classical music, women are still more readily permitted to be mediocre than to be fat.

The narrator describes her life before finding work at the restaurant. For a decade, she practiced piano eight to ten hours a day. Now, without a piano, she has no idea how to spend her time. Her life is stuck in the blank space between keys. Before the restaurant job, she read want ads, took long walks in Brooklyn Bridge Park, applied unsuccessfully for jobs, and tried to pretend her depression was the same as Alice and Charlie's favorite activity: lounging. The narrator describes them as prodigies of indolence, unparalleled in the number of ways they have conceived of sitting on a couch.

The narrator pays over $1,000 a month for her basement space, which she describes as a shallow grave. She wakes with pruned fingertips and dirt under her nails. Still, she notes the space is just big enough for a piano if she can ever afford one. She overhears Alice expressing envy about her job at Holistik, which helps a little with the realization that she has no one to tell about her new position. The chapter ends with the narrator trying the shower, which barely works, and taking out her phone to search for a match—preferably one with steady hot water and a clean fluffy towel.

Key Events

The narrator returns home with Holistik products, and Alice helps unpack them
Alice reveals she spent the day exorcising the spleen of a Nazi from a futon
The narrator describes her roommates and their professions
Flashback to the roommate interview reveals the apartment was misrepresented
The narrator reflects on Conservatory classmates' thinness and her own piano practice
She recounts her pre-restaurant period of unemployment and depression
She overhears Alice's envy about the Holistik job
The shower fails, and she seeks a match with hot water and clean towels

Character Development

The Narrator: This chapter deepens our understanding of the narrator's precarious position. Her identity has been defined by piano practice for a decade, and without a piano she is lost. Her depression is contrasted with her roommates' leisure. She is isolated—she has no one to tell about her new job—and economically vulnerable, paying over $1,000 a month for a basement apartment with a barely functional shower. Her reflection on Conservatory thinness reveals a sharp awareness of how beauty standards and class intersect in the classical music world.

Alice: Alice emerges as a complex figure—a perfectionist who refuses food, a practitioner of a dubious wellness profession, and someone who casually appropriates other cultures. Her envy of the narrator's job reveals her own insecurities and the competitive dynamics of the household.

Charlie: Charlie is largely silent in this chapter, defined by his tech security job and sneaker reselling. His quietness contrasts with Alice's constant noise, and together they represent a certain kind of privileged New York lifestyle.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Cultural appropriation: Alice and Charlie appropriate an impressive number of cultures through Alice's feng shui practice and Charlie's streetwear reselling. Alice's enthusiasm for learning authentic Asian food and culture from the narrator is a pointed example of how wellness culture commodifies other cultures.

Class disparity: The narrator's basement apartment—with its soiled air mattress, dirty concrete floor, and windows showing only dirt—contrasts sharply with her roommates' comfortable life upstairs. She pays over $1,000 a month for a space that could fit a piano, a symbol of her former life.

Loss of identity: Without a piano, the narrator's life is stuck in the blank space between keys. Her identity was built around practice, and its absence leaves her adrift.

Depression vs. leisure: The narrator tries to pretend her depression is the same as Alice and Charlie's lounging, but the comparison fails. Their lounging is a choice; her depression is not.

Beauty standards and perfectionism: Alice's refusal of food and the narrator's reflection on Conservatory thinness connect beauty standards to the narrator's own career—she wonders if she was better at piano or simply less hungry.

Wellness consumerism: The Holistik products—juices, broths, tonics, dusts, flakes, pills, and beauty devices—transform the narrator's space, and Alice's profession is itself a form of wellness consumerism.

Housing precarity: The narrator's living situation—a basement grave with a broken shower—highlights the economic vulnerability of artists in New York.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter establishes the narrator's home life and economic precarity, introducing the roommates who will serve as foils throughout the novel. It deepens the themes of class disparity, cultural appropriation, and identity loss that are central to the book. The narrator's reflection on Conservatory thinness connects beauty standards to her musical career, while her pre-restaurant period of depression and unemployment explains her desperation. The chapter also sets up the contrast between her old life as a pianist and her new life in the wellness industry, a transition that will define the rest of the novel.

Study Questions and Answers

1. How does the narrator's living situation reflect her economic precarity and loss of identity?

The narrator's basement apartment is a physical manifestation of her diminished circumstances. She pays over $1,000 a month for a space with a soiled air mattress, dirty concrete floor, and windows that show only dirt. The apartment is described as a shallow grave, and the shower barely works. The space is just big enough for a piano—a reminder of the life she has lost. Her roommates live comfortably upstairs, sleeping in CBD-emitting snooze pods, while she wakes with pruned fingertips and dirt under her nails. The contrast highlights how her identity as a classical musician has been stripped away, leaving her in a state of precarity and isolation.

2. What role does cultural appropriation play in this chapter, and how does it connect to the narrator's position?

Alice and Charlie appropriate an impressive number of cultures through their professions and hobbies. Alice practices feng shui and exorcises intergenerational trauma from furniture—a New Age appropriation of Chinese and other spiritual traditions. Charlie resells sneakers and streetwear, appropriating urban fashion culture. Alice's response to learning the narrator's parents are from China—expressing excitement about learning authentic Asian food and culture—is a particularly pointed example. The narrator, as a Chinese American woman, is positioned as an object of Alice's cultural curiosity rather than a person. This dynamic connects to the broader theme of wellness consumerism, where other cultures are commodified for consumption.

3. How does the narrator's reflection on Conservatory thinness connect to broader themes of beauty standards and perfectionism?

The narrator observes that many of her Conservatory classmates kept thin bodies, and she wonders whether she was better at the piano or simply less hungry. She speculates that nourished bodies might have produced fuller fingertips and a sound that projected farther. Her observation that classical music permits women to be mediocre more readily than it permits them to be fat reveals the intersection of beauty standards and professional evaluation in the field. Alice's perfectionism—her refusal of food, her virtuous abstention—mirrors this dynamic. The narrator's awareness of these standards, even as she has left the Conservatory, shows how deeply they have shaped her understanding of her own worth.