Chapter 68 'Horny and Confused': Summary, Key Moments, and What It Means for Georgia's Identity
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
Chapter 68, “Horny and Confused,” is told almost entirely through a frantic early-morning text message from Felipa Quintana to her friend Georgia Warr. The chapter opens with Felipa apologizing for waking Georgia, then launches into a breathless account of what happened after Georgia left the previous night.
Felipa explains that she and her rehearsal partner stayed up rehearsing their final scene until around 3 a.m. Exhausted, Felipa offered to let the other girl sleep in her bed, and the girl accepted. Felipa admits she didn’t sleep at all, lying awake while her companion dozed. Around 5 a.m., the girl woke up, got some water, and returned. She noticed Felipa was awake, and they began talking.
The conversation shifted from the play to deeper personal topics. They talked for over an hour, and during this time the girl revealed that she identifies as pansexual—she said she doesn’t have a gender preference and that the word felt right for her. Felipa notes that Georgia already knew about this.
After a quiet moment, the girl said something that stunned Felipa: she claimed that despite appearing to hate Felipa, she actually feels the opposite. Felipa, trying not to scream, admitted she felt the same. Then the girl leaned in and kissed her. She pulled back nervously, but seeing Felipa’s reaction, she kissed her again, and they made out for about twenty minutes.
The encounter escalated. The girl took off her shirt and lay back down, asking if what they were doing was okay. Felipa, nervous but enthusiastic, nodded. Just as they were about to go further—the girl’s hand was reaching into Felipa’s pajama shorts—the girl suddenly pulled back, said “oh my god,” and jumped off the bed. She began frantically pulling on her clothes and gathering her things, apologizing repeatedly. She said “I mess everything up” and then ran out of the room.
Felipa tried calling and messaging her, but got no response. She is now worried and confused, and the play is scheduled for later that day. She fears she may have upset the girl and ruined everything. She ends her message saying she needs a couple of hours of sleep before the performance. Georgia replies simply: “i’m awake” and “oh my god.”
Key Events
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Felipa and her rehearsal partner stay up until 3 a.m. rehearsing.
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Felipa offers her bed to the girl, who accepts.
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They talk for over an hour, and the girl comes out as pansexual.
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The girl confesses she doesn’t actually hate Felipa but feels the opposite.
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They kiss and make out for about twenty minutes.
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The girl takes off her shirt and they begin to go further, but she suddenly stops, apologizes, and runs out.
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Felipa tries to contact her but gets no response.
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Felipa is left worried and confused, with the play looming.
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Georgia wakes up and responds to Felipa’s message.
Character Development
Felipa Quintana – This chapter reveals Felipa’s vulnerability and inexperience. She admits she has never done anything sexual with anyone, and her narration is a mix of excitement, nervousness, and later confusion. Her immediate reaction to the girl’s panic is not anger but worry—she fears she upset her and wants to fix things. This shows Felipa’s caring nature and her tendency to blame herself. Her decision to share this intimate story with Georgia underscores her trust in their friendship.
The rehearsal partner (unnamed) – Though we only hear about her through Felipa’s account, her actions reveal a pattern of self-sabotage. She comes out as pansexual, opens up emotionally, and initiates physical intimacy, but then panics and flees. Her repeated apologies and the line “I mess everything up” suggest she struggles with fear of intimacy and possibly internalized shame. Her abrupt exit leaves both Felipa and the reader confused, highlighting her emotional turmoil.
Georgia Warr – Georgia’s role is minimal but important. She is the confidante Felipa turns to in crisis. Her brief reply—“i’m awake” and “oh my god”—shows she is there for Felipa, even at 7 a.m. This reinforces the supportive friendship that anchors the novel.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
Coming out and identity – The girl’s revelation that she is pansexual is a key moment. It is presented as a personal truth she shares in a vulnerable moment, and Felipa’s reaction is accepting and excited. This theme connects to the broader exploration of sexual identity in the novel.
First sexual experience – Felipa’s narration captures the nervousness and anticipation of a first sexual encounter. She describes being “nervous as hell but extremely up for it,” and the moment is cut short, leaving her with unresolved feelings. This motif highlights the awkwardness and unpredictability of early intimacy.
Fear of intimacy and self-sabotage – The girl’s sudden retreat is a clear example of self-sabotage. She initiates closeness, then panics and runs, repeating a pattern of pushing people away. Her apology and self-blame suggest she believes she ruins things, which is a common fear of intimacy.
Miscommunication and emotional confusion – The chapter is built on a misunderstanding: Felipa thinks she may have upset the girl, but the girl’s actions seem driven by her own internal struggles. The lack of communication after the event leaves both characters in a state of confusion.
Vulnerability – Both characters are vulnerable in this scene—Felipa by sharing her inexperience and the girl by coming out and confessing her feelings. The chapter shows how vulnerability can lead to connection but also to fear and retreat.
Why This Chapter Matters
This chapter is a turning point in Felipa’s romantic storyline. It moves her relationship with her rehearsal partner from tension and banter to a moment of genuine intimacy, only to have it abruptly shattered. The chapter deepens our understanding of Felipa’s character—her inexperience, her caring nature, and her tendency to blame herself. It also introduces the theme of self-sabotage, which may be explored further in later chapters. The timing of the play adds dramatic tension, as Felipa must perform while dealing with emotional turmoil. This chapter also reinforces the importance of Georgia as a support system, showing how friends help navigate confusing and painful moments.
Study Questions and Answers
1. Why does Felipa offer her bed to her rehearsal partner, and what does this reveal about her feelings?
Felipa offers her bed because it is very late and they are both exhausted. However, her narration reveals she is already attracted to the girl—she describes the tension between them and admits she didn’t sleep a single minute. The offer is a practical gesture, but it also creates an opportunity for closeness, showing that Felipa is drawn to her despite the apparent hostility.
2. What does the girl’s sudden exit suggest about her emotional state?
The girl’s exit suggests she is overwhelmed by the intimacy. She apologizes repeatedly and says “I mess everything up,” indicating she has a pattern of self-sabotage and possibly fears getting close to someone. Her panic occurs right before they are about to go further, suggesting she may not be ready for a sexual encounter or is struggling with her feelings.
3. How does Felipa’s reaction to the girl’s coming out as pansexual reflect her character?
Felipa is excited and supportive. She immediately tells Georgia about it, framing it as a positive revelation. She doesn’t question or judge the girl’s identity, which shows her open-mindedness and acceptance. This reaction also deepens the connection between them, as the girl chose to share this personal information with Felipa.
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