Chapter 38: Wank Fantasy — Fantasy, Attraction, and the Shape of Identity

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

After the prom afterparty, Georgia spends the entire day preoccupied with thoughts about sex, but not in a fun or exciting way. She feels confused and begins to question whether she is missing out on something that everyone else seems to have experienced. She recalls Sunil's earlier comment about feeling indifferent to sex, a perspective she had never considered before. For her, sex has only ever been a source of shame for not having had it.

That night, in her dorm room, Georgia decides she needs to talk to someone who knows more about the subject. She turns to her roommate, Rooney, and brings up her situation with Jason. Rooney immediately asks if they have kissed, and when Georgia says no, Rooney dismisses it, saying it will happen naturally when the time is right. This vague answer frustrates Georgia, who admits she doesn't even know if she is attracted to men in general.

Rooney, taking this as a challenge, decides they need to get to the bottom of Georgia's feelings. She launches a series of blunt, personal questions, starting with whether Georgia masturbates. After some initial embarrassment, Georgia admits she does. Rooney then asks what she thinks about during the act. Georgia explains that the gender of the characters doesn't matter to her; she simply thinks about the characters in the fanfiction she is reading, focusing on the chemistry between them rather than bodies or genitals. Rooney is excited by this, declaring them