Julian: Tom Segura's Inventive Son in I'd Like to Play Alone, Please
Overview
Julian is Tom Segura's younger son, described as three years old at the time of writing in Chapter 23, "Pick One." He is the second child, following his older brother Ellis (then six). Tom explicitly states that Julian is easygoing, laughs often, and listens when instructions are repeated. A standout trait is his verbal precocity: he was speaking full, grammatically correct sentences by eighteen months—a full year before his older brother reached that stage. Most distinctively, Julian insists on being called a series of invented names and becomes upset when addressed by his given name.
Plot Role in I'd Like to Play Alone, Please
Julian appears primarily in Chapter 23: Pick One. The chapter's central subject is parental favoritism, and Tom uses his two sons as case studies. Julian's role is to illustrate the contrast between siblings and to exemplify the fluid, temporary nature of favoritism. Tom admits that when Julian refuses to respond to his real name, the boy quickly becomes "not my favorite son." Yet immediately after, Tom describes moments of connection with Ellis that reverse the favor. Julian's presence—and his odd behavior—serves as a comedic engine for Tom's reflections on parenting and identity.
Motivations and Traits Shown Through Actions
Tom reports Julian's actions but does not explicitly state Julian's internal motivations. Based on the text, we can infer the following traits:
- Desire for autonomy and control: By demanding specific names and requiring family members to use them, Julian exercises a child's limited power. Tom writes that "you must name all three lights or he doesn't acknowledge you" when Julian calls himself "Red Light, Green Light, Yellow Light." This suggests a need for strict adherence to his invented rules.
- Creativity and imagination: The names Julian chooses are wildly varied: Moth, Mr. Dog, Mr. Parking Lot, Window, Mr. President, Blender, Steppin' Stone, and the traffic-light sequence. These are not typical toddler nicknames; they show a playful, associative mind.
- Confidence to reject his given name: Julian "gets very upset" when called Julian, and he demands to be addressed by his chosen names. This assertiveness is consistent with Tom's description of him as "easygoing" in general, yet stubborn in this specific domain.
- Verbal skill: Tom marvels that Julian correctly conjugates verbs and forms full sentences at age three. This language ability likely enables his naming game; he can express his preferences clearly and enforce them.
Chronological Arc
Julian's progression in the book is limited to the events of Chapter 23. There is no later chapter that revisits his naming phase. The timeline:
- For the first two-plus years of his life, Julian responds to his given name and nicknames like "Jujito" or "Juju."
- About three months before the chapter's writing, Julian suddenly rejects all previous names and announces his first self-chosen name: Beeshu (which he explains came from "California").
- Thereafter, Julian produces a rapid sequence of new names, each one replacing the previous one. The family must adapt or face his displeasure.
- At the chapter's end, Julian is still cycling through names. Tom does not indicate that this phase has ended, leaving the arc open-ended.
In the broader book, Julian is mentioned only in passing after Chapter 23. For example, in Chapter 25: Save the Word, Tom mentions waking up multiple times during the night due to his sons, including Julian, but no specific actions. Thus, Julian's micro-arc within the memoir is the brief but vivid period of his self-naming.
Relationships
Julian and Tom
Tom's portrayal of Julian is affectionate yet exasperated. He describes Julian as "easygoing" and laughs at his son's antics, but he also admits that the constant name-changing becomes "an interesting challenge." Tom's humor is self-deprecating: he calls Julian "my not favorite son" when the boy refuses to answer, showing that Tom navigates his own temporary feelings of favoritism. Nonetheless, Tom clearly adores Julian and finds his verbal skill remarkable. He also notes that Julian, unlike his older brother Ellis, is more cautious—"Julian looks, assesses, and then decides, 'That might be too far to jump.'" This difference in risk tolerance shapes Tom's descriptions.
Julian and Ellis
Tom explicitly contrasts the brothers. Ellis is "decisive" and "stubborn," obsessed with snake videos and risk-taking. Julian is verbally advanced, easygoing, and more careful. Tom suggests that Julian's accelerated language development may stem from modeling his older sibling: "the second child is greatly influenced by their older sibling whom they spend a great deal of time with." The brothers appear to have a typical sibling dynamic; there is no evidence of conflict or special closeness in the text.
Key Decisions and Consequences
Julian's decision (as reported by Tom): to reject his given name and rename himself repeatedly.
Consequences:
- The family must comply or Julian becomes upset. This creates minor comedic friction in the household.
- Tom's favoritism temporarily shifts: when Julian refuses to answer, he becomes "my not favorite son." But this is fleeting; Tom's love remains constant.
- Julian's naming game becomes a running bit that underscores the book's theme of identity and perception—how we define ourselves and how others respond.
There are no long-term consequences shown; the chapter ends before the phase resolves.
Theme and Symbol Connections
| Theme | How Julian Connects |
|---|---|
| Parenting and Solitude | Julian's early full sentence "I'd like to play alone, please" (spoken by his brother Ellis, but Julian's existence frames this theme). Tom feels a deep kinship with both sons' need for alone time. Julian's easygoing nature makes him easier to parent than the demanding Ellis. |
| Identity and Perception | Julian's rejection of his given name is a direct expression of asserting identity. He controls how he is perceived. Tom's reactions—amusement, frustration—show how identity is negotiated within a family. See more in the identity and perception theme analysis. |
| Family Dynamics | Julian's behavior illustrates the temporary nature of favoritism—a core theme in the chapter. Tom admits that both parents and children participate in an unspoken ranking that changes daily. Julian's antics trigger these shifts. |
| Self-Deprecating Humor | Tom uses Julian's names to laugh at himself as a parent. He does not pretend to be perfect; he calls his own favoritism "temporary" and admits to smiling when his son's quirks annoy him. This aligns with the book's self-deprecating humor theme. |
5 Book-Specific Questions and Direct Answers
These questions are based solely on evidence in I'd Like to Play Alone, Please.
1. What names did Julian invent for himself, according to Tom Segura? Tom lists multiple names Julian demanded to be called: Moth, Mr. Dog, Mr. Parking Lot, Window, Mr. President, Blender, Steppin' Stone, and Red Light, Green Light, Yellow Light. He also previously called himself Beeshu, which he said came from "California." Tom notes that the family must name all three lights or Julian will not acknowledge them.
2. Why does Tom sometimes consider Julian his "not favorite son"? Tom directly states that when Julian "insists on not responding to his given name he quickly becomes my not favorite son." The refusal to answer to Julian or any nickname the family chooses frustrates Tom, temporarily shifting his favoritism toward Ellis. However, Tom makes clear this feeling is fleeting and he loves both boys equally overall.
3. How does Julian's language development compare to his older brother Ellis's? Tom explains that Julian was speaking "complicated, complete sentences at eighteen months and doing so while correctly conjugating verbs." In contrast, Ellis used two-, three-, and four-word sentences at the same age and often spoke grammatically incorrectly, saying things like "I hold you" instead of "Hold me." Tom attributes Julian's faster progress to being influenced by watching his older sibling.
4. How does Julian's personality differ from Ellis's in their approach to risk? Tom observes that when Ellis "approaches the end of a platform he looks down and then just jumps," whereas Julian "looks, assesses, and then decides, 'That might be too far to jump.'" This shows Julian as more cautious and thoughtful, while Ellis is more impulsive and risk-taking. Tom notes these differences exist despite similar parenting.
5. What does Tom reveal about his own parenting ideals through his descriptions of Julian? Tom admits to temporary favoritism based on which child is easier at a given moment. He says, "I always love whichever kid isn't crying or whining more than the one who is." He also expresses pride in Julian's verbal ability and finds humor in his son's defiance. Tom values solitude and independence, which he sees in both boys. For deeper discussion of these parenting themes, see the parenting and solitude theme analysis.
Conclusion
Julian may occupy only a small portion of I'd Like to Play Alone, Please, but his character punches above his page count. Through his invented names, cautious yet confident personality, and advanced language skills, Julian becomes a mirror for Tom Segura's own values: humor, self-awareness, and the constant negotiation of identity within family. His micro-arc of name-rejection encapsulates the book's larger themes of self-definition and the fluidity of parental favoritism. For readers seeking to understand Tom's parenting philosophy or the comedic depiction of toddlerhood, Julian is an essential figure.
Visit the full book analysis or explore other characters and themes like celebrity encounters and the ending explained.