Chapter summaries I'd Like to Play Alone, Please Tom Segura

Pick One: Chapter 23 Summary and Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Tom Segura recounts his childhood curiosity about parental favoritism and admits his own temporary favoritism as a father. He describes his two sons' contrasting personalities: six-year-old Ellis, who is stubborn, risk-taking, and obsessed with snake videos, and three-year-old Julian, who is easygoing, verbally advanced, and insists on being called a series of invented names. Tom recounts Ellis's first complete sentence, "I'd like to play alone, please," and reveals his own need for solitude, which he sees mirrored in his son. The chapter explores the fluid nature of favoritism, childhood language development, and the quirks of parenting.

Key Events

  • Tom recalls asking his parents if they loved one child more, receiving the typical "we love you all the same" answer. As an adult, he now realizes that answer was not entirely true.
  • He shares his father's recent admission that Tom is his favorite, and his mother's confession that she loves his younger sister Jane the most because Jane loves her the most.
  • Tom introduces his two sons: Ellis (age six) and Julian (age three). He contrasts their temperaments—Ellis is decisive, stubborn, and physically daring; Julian is easygoing, listens, and assesses risks.
  • Ellis becomes obsessed with watching snake predation videos on YouTube, which Tom initially hesitated to show but eventually indulged.
  • Julian begins rejecting his given name and adopts a series of self-chosen names such as Moth, Mr. Dog, Mr. Parking Lot, Window, Mr. President, Blender, Steppin' Stone, and "Red Light, Green Light, Yellow Light."
  • Tom recounts the moment Ellis spoke his first full sentence: "I'd like to play alone, please." Tom recognized the phrase as a genuine request, not a joke.
  • Tom reflects on his own lifelong need for solitude and how it matched Ellis's sentiment. He notes that Ellis now uses less polite versions of that request, which secretly amuses Tom.

Character Development

  • Tom Segura: Reveals his parenting philosophy—he admits to temporary favoritism based on which child is less annoying. He values alone time and has built his life around it, and feels a deep genetic connection when his son echoes that desire.
  • Ellis: Develops from limited, broken speech to his first complete sentence. Shows strong independence and a personality that mirrors his father's. His language later becomes more demanding, but Tom still delights in the resemblance.
  • Julian: Demonstrates advanced verbal ability for his age, correctly conjugating verbs at eighteen months. His self-naming phase reveals a strong sense of identity and a need for control, which challenges his parents.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

  • Parental Favoritism as Fluid: Tom rejects the idea that parents love all children equally at all times. Favoritism in his household shifts based on behavior—whichever child is not crying or whining is momentarily the favorite.
  • Language as Identity and Independence: Julian's rejection of his birth name and insistence on new names shows a child asserting his own identity. Ellis's first full sentence marks a milestone of independent thought and aligns with his father's core value of solitude.
  • Nature Versus Nurture: Tom notes that despite the same parenting, his sons have drastically different temperaments. He attributes Ellis's stubbornness to innate personality, not upbringing.
  • Solitude as a Necessary Value: The chapter reinforces Tom's personal credo of needing alone time. The title of the book is echoed in Ellis's first sentence, tying the chapter to the larger theme of preferring solitude.

Why This Chapter Matters

"Pick One" gives readers a humorous yet honest look at Tom Segura's fatherhood. It deepens the memoir's exploration of his personality by showing how his need for solitude is reflected in his son. The chapter also tackles the sensitive topic of favoritism with self-deprecating candor, making Tom more relatable as a parent. This chapter sets up later discussions of family dynamics and personal space that recur throughout the book.

Study Questions and Answers

  1. How does Tom's view of parental favoritism differ from his parents' view?
    Tom's parents claimed they loved all children equally. Tom admits that for him, favoritism is temporary and behavior-based—he loves whichever child is less annoying at the moment, though he knows this feeling can change quickly.

  2. What does Julian's self-naming phase reveal about his development?
    Julian's insistence on being called names like Moth, Mr. Dog, and Mr. President shows advanced language skills, a strong sense of self, and a desire for autonomy. It's a typical toddler behavior of asserting control over his environment.

  3. Why does Tom react positively when Ellis tells him to go away?
    Tom sees the blunt request not as disrespect but as a mirror of his own personality. It feels like a genetic confirmation that Ellis is a "little version of me," and Tom secretly enjoys that shared trait, even as he corrects the language for politeness.

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