The Athletics Carnival Medal: A Symbol of Hidden Care in I Hope This Doesn't Find You

What the Athletics Carnival Medal Literally Represents

In Ann Liang’s I Hope This Doesn’t Find You, the Athletics Carnival medal is a concrete, physical object—a gold medal awarded to the winner of a race at Woodvale Academy’s annual athletics carnival. During the one-thousand-meter event (chapter 14), Julius Gong crosses the finish line first and receives the medal around his neck. He immediately removes it and hands it to Sadie Wen, saying it is hers.

The medal is presented as a tangible token of victory, but its significance goes far beyond athletic achievement. It is warm from Julius’s touch, “smooth against my skin” when Sadie turns it over, and she notes its “faint glow, the shine of the gold” and its weight. Sadie admits it is “prettier than any necklace I’ve ever seen.” The object therefore carries emotional weight, serving as a gift that bridges the competitive gap between the two protagonists.

Where the Medal Appears in the Novel

The medal appears in only one explicit scene—chapter 14 during the athletics carnival. However, its presence is felt afterward as a symbolic reference point. The scene unfolds in four stages:

The medal does not reappear later, but it functions as a turning point in their relationship. It is the first time Julius publicly performs an act of care for Sadie, and she keeps the medal as a treasured object.

How the Meaning of the Medal Changes Across the Scene

Initially, the medal is an emblem of competition. Throughout the carnival, Sadie and Julius race against each other, each trying to outdo the other. Sadie wins the relay by a split second, and both characters treat the medals as countable proof of superiority. Julius brags about having “so many of these lying around my house,” and Sadie mentally keeps score.

The meaning shifts dramatically when Julius takes Sadie’s place in the 1000m. By running for her, he transforms the medal from a trophy of personal victory into a gesture of selfless service. The medal becomes a symbol of hidden care—Julius’s willingness to physically exert himself for Sadie’s wellbeing, even though he maintains his usual smug demeanor (“I’ll be faster anyway”).

When he puts the medal around her neck, Sadie struggles to interpret it: “a gift, a form of compensation, proof of something.” The ambiguity reflects the state of their relationship at that moment—still defined by rivalry but already cracking to reveal genuine affection. By the end of the novel, the medal retroactively becomes a love token, a precursor to the open declarations they make later (chapter 21). It foreshadows the moment in chapter 20 when Julius confesses he is terrified of losing her.

Connections to Character and Theme

Character Connections

• Sadie Wen: The medal represents everything Sadie wants—recognition, validation, and being seen as worthy. She is obsessed with coming first (theme of perfectionism) but forces herself to run multiple races to please others (people-pleasing). The medal, given instead of earned, forces her to accept help and question her worth. Her indecision about what it means reflects her struggle between her public persona (polite school captain) and private self (vulnerable, exhausted young woman).

• Julius Gong: The medal is a rare moment where Julius drops his competitive mask. He claims he “has so many” medals, downplaying his gesture. But his actions—running the whole 1000m at sprint pace, then personally placing the medal on Sadie—reveal a depth of care he cannot verbalize. His harsh words afterward (“You don’t get it, do you?”) show his frustration that she fails to see his affection. The medal thus becomes a symbol of his hidden attraction, a theme explored throughout the novel as rivalry masks romantic tension.

• Abigail Ong (indirectly): Sadie cannot tell Abigail about the medal because she is still processing the kiss at the party. The medal thus becomes a secret between Sadie and Julius, aligning with the theme of public vs. private self.

Theme Connections

• Rivalry and Hidden Attraction: The medal is the first concrete object that converts competition into partnership. Julius running for Sadie shifts their dynamic from opponents to collaborators. The medal is a physical reminder that attraction can exist beneath antagonism.

• Perfectionism and People-Pleasing: Sadie pushes herself to the point of collapse because she feels obligated to fill race positions. Julius’s intervention shows her that taking help does not equal failure. The medal symbolizes permission to let go of impossible standards.

• Guilt and Forgiveness: By accepting the medal, Sadie accepts Julius’s care despite their history of hurtful emails and insults. The gift helps her move past guilt—over the leaked emails, over the kiss, over her family worries—toward forgiveness. In chapter 21, when she writes to Julius confessing her love, she is finally able to own her feelings without apology.

• Family Obligation and Parental Expectations: Although not directly connected to the medal, Sadie’s drive to be perfect originates partly in her mother’s high expectations (mentioned in earlier chapters). The medal scene is a step toward Sadie learning that her worth is not measured by awards alone.

Four Study Questions with Answers

1. Why does Julius call the medal “compensation for all the awards I’ve taken from you”? What does this reveal about his view of their rivalry?

Julius frames his gift as a transactional payoff, downplaying his emotional motive. The line reveals that he is aware of his history of outdoing Sadie and feels some form of regret or desire to make amends. However, his casual tone also protects him from vulnerability—by calling it compensation, he avoids admitting he cares. The question invites analysis of how Julius uses humor and deflection to mask true feelings, a pattern seen throughout the novel.

2. How does the medal scene connect to the themes of public vs. private self?

Sadie wonders what the medal “really means,” but she does not discuss it publicly. The gift happens in a semi-private moment after a race, yet under the gaze of the crowd. In contrast, her earlier emails were exposed publicly (chapter 3). The medal becomes a private symbol of their evolving relationship, one they cannot yet share with their peers. This contrast highlights the divide between how others see them (rivals) and what they are becoming (partners).

3. In what way does the medal represent a turning point in Sadie and Julius’s relationship?

Before the medal, their interactions are relentlessly competitive. During the relay, Sadie thinks, “I need to beat him.” After the medal, Julius’s act of service initiates a shift: Sadie feels gratitude and confusion instead of pure rivalry. This scene sets the stage for their kiss at the party (chapter 20) and their later open confessions (chapter 21). The medal is the first tangible proof that Julius prioritizes Sadie’s wellbeing over winning.

4. If the medal symbolizes “hidden care,” what other objects or moments in the novel carry similar meaning?

Students can compare the medal to: the unsent email drafts (Sadie’s hidden frustrations), Julius punching Danny (chapter 20, his protective violence), and Sadie’s handwritten note to Julius on the bus (chapter 21). Each object or act functions as a covert expression of emotion that characters struggle to articulate. The medal is unique because it is a public prize repurposed as a private gift, merging their two worlds.

Conclusion

The Athletics Carnival medal is a small, golden object that carries enormous symbolic weight. It marks the moment when Julius Gong stops competing against Sadie Wen and starts running for her. More than a trophy, the medal becomes a bridge between rivalry and romance, a secret token of care hidden beneath layers of sarcasm and pride. Through this single gesture, Ann Liang crystallizes the novel’s central tension: two people who have spent years trying to beat each other slowly realize that what they really want is to be chosen by each other.

To explore more about the relationship dynamics, see our pages on rivalry and hidden attraction and guilt and forgiveness. For character profiles, visit Sadie Wen and Julius Gong.