Chapter 12: The Party’s Fallout and a Vulnerable Confession

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Sadie arrives home to find her party in complete disarray—guests are spilling liquor into her mother’s vases, making out on the couch, playing beer pong, and leaving muddy footprints everywhere. Overwhelmed with horror and regret, she tries to regain control but fails. After one guest hits her in the face with a broomstick, Sadie angrily declares the party over, and everyone leaves. She is left alone with the mess and her shame.

Julius, who was also at the party, stays behind. Without speaking, he helps her clean. As they work together in comfortable silence, Sadie reflects on how memories form and realizes this moment will stay with her. Julius asks why she feels compelled to make everyone forgive her, pointing out that some people, like Rosie, have wronged her too. Sadie admits she cannot stand when people are angry at her and that she always feels driven to make amends. Their conversation grows more personal when Sadie shows Julius an old family photo from ten years ago, before her father left. She reveals how his abandonment affected her brother Max and how she still misses small things, like sharing a sour stir-fried chicken dish with her father. Julius asks why Max didn't step in, and Sadie explains that Max took the loss harder and began acting out.

Suddenly, Sadie remembers that she kissed Julius earlier. To distract herself, she grabs a bottle of what she thinks is beer but is actually bourbon. She drinks it quickly, ignoring Julius’s warning, and becomes drunk. In her intoxicated state, she becomes bold and flirtatious. She traces his collarbone, plays with his hair, and calls him pretty. Julius recites from memory an insult she wrote about his hair in an email. Sadie laughs and accuses him of being obsessed with her. Then she demands to know why he always singles her out and makes her life difficult. Julius responds quietly, “You’re the only person worth paying attention to.”

Their intimate moment is shattered when Sadie hears her mother and brother returning early. Panicked, she forces Julius to escape through the laundry room window just as the front door opens.

Key Events

Sadie arrives to find her house party in chaos.
She kicks everyone out after being hit by a broomstick.
Julius stays behind and helps clean up in silence.
Sadie shares a family photo and opens up about her father’s departure.
Julius points out that Sadie fixates on making others forgive her, even when she has been wronged.
Sadie drinks bourbon, thinking it is beer, and becomes drunk.
She confronts Julius about why he targets her, and he replies that she is the only person worth his attention.
Her mother and Max return early, forcing Julius to escape through a window.

Character Development

Sadie Wen

This chapter deepens Sadie’s internal conflict. Her need for control and perfection collides with the messy reality of the party, forcing her to confront her own helplessness. She reveals a core trait: she cannot bear being disliked and feels compelled to make everything right, even when the fault is not entirely hers. The conversation with Julius allows her to show vulnerability regarding her father’s abandonment, revealing that she still longs for his presence even after years of pretending otherwise. Her impulsive drinking shows a reckless side born from a desire to self-destruct when she cannot meet her own high standards.

Julius Gong

Julius’s actions throughout the chapter shift the reader’s perception of him. By staying to help clean without being asked, he demonstrates a caring side that contradicts his usual antagonistic role. He listens without judgment and challenges Sadie’s assumptions about herself. His confession that he remembers her emails word for word and his statement that she is “the only person worth paying attention to” reveal that his intense focus on her stems not from hatred but from admiration. This admission recontextualizes their entire rivalry.

Max and Mrs. Wen (Offstage)

Although they only appear at the very end, their early return drives the chapter’s climax. Max’s offhand comment about learning from his sister suggests Sadie is the family’s benchmark for success, adding pressure she feels. Mrs. Wen’s scolding of Max over mahjong hints at the tense household dynamic Sadie must navigate.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Guilt and the Need for Forgiveness: Sadie’s obsessive drive to be forgiven by everyone, even when she is the wronged party, shows her deep-seated anxiety about disapproval. Julius challenges this by pointing out that others owe her apologies too.
Family Abandonment and Its Long Shadow: The family photo and Sadie’s description of her father’s departure illustrate how his absence has shaped both her and her brother. The image of the sour stir-fry dish she no longer orders becomes a symbol of lost connection.
Self-Destruction Through Impulse: Sadie’s decision to drink bourbon, knowing it is unlike her, reflects her willingness to embrace failure fully when she cannot be perfect. The alcohol blurs boundaries and leads to her rawest confession with Julius.
Memories That Stick: Sadie’s reflection on how memories are formed—citing the lemon cake with her mother, feeding ducks with Max, an old woman’s shirt—serves as a motif for the chapter’s central emotional weight. She recognizes that the night with Julius will join those lasting memories.

Why This Chapter Matters

This is a pivotal turning point in the novel. The emotional and physical barriers between Sadie and Julius collapse as they share a genuine, vulnerable conversation for the first time. Julius’s admission that Sadie is the only person worth paying attention to reframes their entire relationship, suggesting that his antagonism has always been a cover for deeper feelings. At the same time, Sadie’s confession about her father humanizes her and explains much of her perfectionist drive. The chapter sets up the central romantic tension while also advancing Sadie’s personal growth, forcing her to confront the difference between being liked and being truly seen.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does Sadie decide to drink the bourbon, even after Julius warns her not to?
Sadie feels she has already done impulsive things that night, so drinking seems like an extension of that rebellion. More importantly, she is struggling with feelings of failure and self-disgust; if she cannot be the best, she wants to be the best at being the worst. The alcohol becomes a tool for self-destruction and a way to prove Julius wrong.

2. What does Julius mean when he says Sadie is “the only person worth paying attention to”?
Julius’s statement reveals that his intense focus on Sadie—in dodgeball, spelling quizzes, history projects, and now the emails—has never been about hatred. He singles her out because she stands out to him above everyone else. The line redefines their rivalry as a distorted form of admiration and attraction.

3. How does the family photo serve as a catalyst for Sadie’s emotional vulnerability?
The photo captures a false moment of happiness just before her father left. By showing it to Julius, Sadie allows him into a part of her life she usually keeps hidden. It leads her to admit that she still wishes her father were there for small, everyday comforts like mediating arguments or sharing a favorite dish. This openness deepens the intimacy between them and helps Julius understand why she craves approval so desperately.

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