Characters How Y'all Doing? Leslie Jordan

Allen Jordan: The Army Father Who Gave His Son a Bride Doll

Overview

Allen Jordan appears in Leslie Jordan’s memoir How Y’all Doing? as the author’s late father, a career army man who died in a plane crash when Leslie was eleven. Though physically present only during Leslie’s early childhood, Allen’s influence pervades the memoir. He is remembered as an outgoing, sports-loving father who, despite the era’s rigid gender expectations, performed a landmark act of love: in 1958 he scoured Chattanooga, Tennessee, to buy his three-year-old son a bride doll. That decision, recounted in chapter 10, becomes a touchstone for Leslie’s lifelong journey toward self-acceptance and freedom from shame.

Plot Role

Allen Jordan does not drive the memoir’s present-day events — he died decades before Leslie’s Instagram fame — but he functions as a foundational character whose absence shapes many of Leslie’s struggles. He appears in flashbacks and recollections:

  • The Bride Doll (chapter 10): At age three, Leslie asks Santa for a bride doll. Allen initially objects (“I am not getting him a bride doll, Peggy”) but eventually, after his wife’s tears, goes out in a (embellished) snowstorm to buy it. Leslie later reflects: “Thank you, Daddy. For having enough love for your son to buy him a doll.”

  • T-Ball and the Trophy (chapter 11): Allen signs six- or seven-year-old Leslie up for T-ball. Leslie fails at the sport, lying down in the outfield. Allen does not force him to continue. Later, at summer camp, Leslie wins a “best all-around camper” trophy for keeping everyone laughing, and Allen is “jumping up and down … so proud.”

  • Hymn Singing (chapter 7): Allen played instruments during family hymn sings, told Dumb Dora jokes, and even made a dark joke about his own funeral. These memories reinforce a shared family identity that Leslie carries forward.

  • Posthumous Presence: In chapter 11, when Leslie throws the first pitch at a Washington Nationals game in memory of Pulse nightclub victims, he feels his father’s presence and throws “one of my daddy’s spirit.” This moment ties Allen to themes of loss, redemption, and legacy.

Motivations and Traits Shown Through Actions

Allen’s actions reveal a man caught between convention and deep paternal love.

  • Conformity and discomfort: He is a “man’s man,” a career army officer who wanted a son and was initially unhappy with his son’s effeminate interests. He asks Leslie’s mother, “Why you only play with girls?” showing his unease.

  • Sacrificial love: Despite that discomfort, he overcomes his own prejudice to grant his son’s wish. The bride doll purchase is the strongest evidence: “A man’s man like my daddy hitting the toy stores looking for a bride doll for his son in 1958! No snowstorm needed.” This action demonstrates that his love for Leslie outweighed his fear of social judgment.

  • Pride and disappointment: He is visibly proud of Leslie’s camp trophy, yet Leslie remembers only the T-ball failure — a selective, shame-driven memory. Peggy later clarifies: “Your daddy ADORED you, Leslie. The sun rose and set with you.” Allen’s motivation was always to show off his boy, not to shame him.

  • Humor and warmth: Allen’s dark joke at his own funeral (chapter 7) and his outgoing nature — introducing himself to strangers, striking up conversations — reveal a gregarious, humorous man who shaped Leslie’s own comfort with performance.

Chronological Arc

Allen Jordan’s presence in the narrative is confined to Leslie’s childhood, but his emotional arc spans the entire memoir.

  • Early childhood (age 3): The bride doll incident establishes Allen’s capacity for unconditional love in the face of societal taboo.
  • Elementary years (ages 6–11): T-ball failure and the camp trophy illustrate Allen’s attempts to bond with his “boy” through sports, and his eventual pride in Leslie’s unique talents.
  • Death at age 11: The plane crash cuts off all direct interaction. Leslie carries the belief that he was a disappointment — a belief that becomes “my secret shame, one I carried into adulthood” (chapter 11).
  • Adult reflection: In recovery, Leslie confronts that shame. The bride doll story becomes a foundation for his shame-free life. He dedicates the chapter to his father and his sponsor Don Norman: “I hope the two of you have met in the sweet by-and-by.”

Relationships

Allen and Leslie: The central relationship is marked by love and misunderstanding. Allen doted on Leslie — taking him everywhere, calling him “my boy” — but Leslie internalized the few moments of perceived failure. The father’s early death freezes that dynamic, leaving Leslie to work through unresolved feelings for decades.

Allen and Peggy (Leslie’s mother): In the bride doll episode, Allen initially resists but yields to Peggy’s emotional plea. Peggy defends Leslie’s nature (“You know how he is, Allen”). Their dynamic shows a traditional couple navigating an unconventional child.

Allen and the family: He participated in hymn singing alongside his own father and brother, reinforcing a family and community tradition that Leslie later reclaims on Instagram.

Key Decisions and Consequences

  • Decision to buy the bride doll: This single act becomes a lifelong symbol of love that helps Leslie dismantle his internalized shame. Without it, Leslie might have never felt permission to embrace his authentic self.

  • Decision to stop T-ball: Rather than force athletics, Allen lets Leslie quit. This preserves their relationship but leaves Leslie feeling he failed at being a “real boy.” The consequence is decades of imagined disappointment until therapy and his mother’s reassurance correct it.

  • Decision to attend Leslie’s camp Parents’ Day: Allen’s visible pride at the trophy provides a counterweight to the T-ball memory, but Leslie’s shame narrative prioritizes the negative.

  • Decision to be outgoing and include Leslie: Allen’s habit of introducing Leslie everywhere taught Leslie social ease, but as a boy Leslie felt mortified — a tension that later fuels Leslie’s own performance and authenticity on stage and Instagram.

Theme and Symbol Connections

Allen Jordan connects directly to several of the memoir’s themes:

  • Identity and Shame: The bride doll is a direct antidote to the “fag-hating fag” shame Leslie felt. Allen’s act of love proves that Leslie’s identity was never wrong.

  • Recovery and Sobriety: Leslie’s recovery journey includes writing a fear list. The doll story is the culmination — a shame-free milestone. Don Norman helps Leslie see his imagined fears; Allen’s gift is the proof that love can overcome those fears.

  • Family and Community: The Jordans’ hymn-singing tradition shows how family formed his moral compass. Allen’s role in that tradition (playing instruments, telling jokes) anchors Leslie in his Southern roots.

  • Dealing with Loss: Allen’s early death is the central loss of Leslie’s life. Leslie confronts it in chapter 11 when he throws the pitch: “I threw it in memory of … my daddy.” The grief is processed through ritual and storytelling, often embellished — a theme Leslie acknowledges.

  • Performance and Authenticity: Allen’s outgoing personality and showmanship (telling jokes, introducing himself) model performance for Leslie. Yet Leslie’s deepest authenticity — his love of dolls, his effeminacy — exists in tension with what Allen initially wanted. The bridge between them is the bride doll.

Book-Specific Questions and Answers

1. How did Allen Jordan react when his three-year-old son asked for a bride doll?

Allen initially told his wife, “I am not getting him a bride doll, Peggy,” and hoped Leslie would forget. But on Christmas Eve, after Peggy tearfully asked what to tell their son in the morning, Allen went out and bought the doll. The memoir emphasizes he did so in 1958, a time when such a purchase carried great social risk.

2. What was the “secret shame” Leslie carried about his father after Allen’s death?

Leslie believed he had been a disappointment because he failed at T‑ball and preferred cheerleader jumps to baseball. He thought his sports-fanatic father was ashamed of him. This belief was his “secret shame” until he confronted it with his mother, who insisted Allen adored him.

3. How does the bride doll story connect to Leslie’s recovery from internalized homophobia?

In recovery, Leslie’s sponsor Don Norman had him list fears. Many involved shame about effeminacy. Recalling his father’s willingness to buy the doll helped Leslie accept that his identity was never wrong, allowing him to live a “joyful, shame‑free life.”

4. What does Leslie’s mother say about whether Allen was ashamed of his son?

Peggy was flabbergasted at the question. She said, “Your daddy ADORED you, Leslie. The sun rose and set with you.” She recalled that when she worried about Leslie’s lack of boy playmates, Allen accepted her explanation and sent Leslie to camp.

5. How does Leslie honor his father in the final chapter about baseball?

In chapter 11, Leslie throws the first pitch at a Nationals game in memory of the Pulse victims and his father. He feels his daddy’s spirit with him. The pitch becomes a ritual of release, transforming childhood failure into adult courage.