Chapter 15: If Only – Summary and Analysis
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
Chapter 15 opens in 2019 with Ebby standing on a riverbank in rural France, wishing the water were deep enough to dive into and swim away. Instead, she is forced to face Henry Pepper, the man who abandoned her on their wedding day, as he arrives with his new partner, Avery, to check into the guesthouse Ebby is managing for her friend Hannah. Ebby recognizes Henry immediately and struggles to maintain composure. She leads the couple to the cottage and gives them a tour, while Avery reveals she knows exactly who Ebby is, referencing the public scandal of the aborted wedding. Henry avoids the past, acting as if they are old friends. When a phone rings in the main house, Ebby uses it as an excuse to escape. After they leave, Ebby changes out of her wet clothes and processes her anger, imagining violent revenge but ultimately watching Henry and Avery amble across a footbridge arm in arm. The chapter ends with Ebby feeling the sting of betrayal despite her efforts to stay strong.
Key Events
- Henry Pepper and his new partner, Avery, arrive at the guesthouse Ebby is managing.
- Ebby recognizes Henry as the man who abandoned her on their wedding day.
- She forces herself to give them a tour of the cottage while maintaining a professional demeanor.
- Avery calls Ebby by her full name, showing she knows about the scandal.
- A ringing house phone provides Ebby with a timely excuse to leave.
- Alone, Ebby changes clothes and reflects on her rage, imagining harming Henry.
- The chapter closes with Ebby watching the couple cross a footbridge, feeling humiliated.
Character Development
- Ebby: Forced to confront her traumatic past, she struggles to keep her composure. Her internal rage and hurt are overwhelming, but she manages to maintain appearances. The encounter tests her emotional resilience and reveals her still-unresolved grief.
- Henry: He appears unfazed and unrepentant, smiling and acting casual. He avoids discussing the past and shows no accountability for the pain he caused.
- Avery: She is polished and self-assured, seemingly aware of Ebby’s history. Her tone and behavior suggest either manipulative indifference or a calculated enjoyment of the situation.
Themes, Symbols, and Motifs
- Water and the River: The opening image of the river represents Ebby’s desire to escape the painful reality. Later, the footbridge becomes a symbol of Henry moving on while Ebby is left behind.
- Appearances: Ebby recalls her Granny’s advice that appearances matter. She deliberately controls her posture and pace to project confidence despite inner turmoil.
- The Phone Calls: The persistent calls from an elderly man looking for “Robert” serve as an unwanted intrusion, paralleling Henry’s sudden reappearance. Ebby ignores the calls, symbolizing her tendency to avoid unresolved issues.
- Clothing and Disguise: Ebby’s gardening smock and straw hat initially mask her identity; after the encounter, she removes them, revealing her disheveled hair and vulnerability.
Why This Chapter Matters
This chapter brings the central wound of Ebby’s life—Henry’s abandonment—back into the present. It forces her to confront her ex in a situation where she cannot run away. Her controlled response shows growth, but her internal rage indicates deep, unhealed trauma. The chapter also introduces a mysterious recurring caller, hinting at another unresolved past relationship. This encounter sets up future tension, as Henry and Avery are staying in the same small town, ensuring further confrontations.
Study Questions and Answers
1. Why does Ebby imagine diving into the river at the start of the chapter?
She wishes she could escape the painful reality of seeing Henry again. The deep water symbolizes a way to flee the confrontation.
2. How does Avery demonstrate that she knows about Ebby’s history with Henry?
Avery uses Ebby’s full name, “Ebony Freeman,” and speaks with a tone that implies familiarity with the wedding abandonment scandal. She also confirms her own identity as Chastity Avery Williams.
3. What role does the house phone play in the chapter?
The phone rings at a crucial moment, giving Ebby an excuse to leave the tense situation. Later, the persistent caller (an elderly man seeking “Robert”) represents another unresolved connection in Ebby’s life, one she chooses to ignore.