Chapter 70: Of Marriage & Friendship & Faith – Summary and Analysis
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
📝 Summary (Complete and Chronological)
Chapter 70 consists of a single untitled poem that opens with the assertion that marriage, friendship, and faith have always been a power struggle. The speaker interjects that Sally Rooney wrote three books about this truth, implying her novels explore similar tensions. A reluctance to admit being in such a struggle is noted, as everyone experiences many of them. The poem then describes how once the power struggle consumes a person, it brings them to their knees and literally puts hands around their throat, a visceral image of domination. The speaker clarifies that this observation does not belong only to Sally Rooney, but that the author deliberately referenced Rooney to capture the reader’s attention. The repetition of the title line both opens and closes the poem, framing the message.
🔑 Key Events
- The poem states that marriage, friendship, and faith have always been a power struggle.
- Sally Rooney’s three books are invoked as a cultural reference to support this claim.
- The speaker notes that no one wants to admit they are in such a struggle, despite being in many.
- The struggle is described as consuming the person, bringing them to their knees, and placing hands on their throat.
- The poem acknowledges that the power struggle is not unique to Rooney’s work, but the reference is intentional to gain attention.
- The title phrase “Of Marriage & Friendship & Faith” is repeated as a closing line, reinforcing the theme.
👤 Character Development
No named characters appear in this chapter except the offstage reference to novelist Sally Rooney. The speaker’s voice is direct and slightly confrontational, using “you” to implicate the reader. The speaker reveals a cynical or at least starkly realistic view of close relationships, contrasting with more idealistic portrayals. By citing Rooney, the speaker positions themselves as culturally literate and aware of contemporary literary treatments of power dynamics. The chapter does not develop a narrative character arc, but it establishes a distinctive, authoritative tone for the poem’s speaker.
🧠 Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
- Power Struggle as Foundation: The core theme is that romantic, platonic, and spiritual bonds are inherently about dominance and submission—an uncomfortable truth often denied.
- Consumption and Suffocation: The metaphors of being consumed, brought to one’s knees, and having hands around the throat symbolize the overwhelming, suffocating nature of such struggles.
- Denial: The poem emphasizes the human tendency to refuse acknowledging these power dynamics, even while living through them.
- Cultural Reference: Sally Rooney’s name functions as a motif, representing a body of literature that explores similar themes, and the poem’s self-aware use of the reference highlights how cultural touchstones can be wielded to provoke a reaction.
❓ Why This Chapter Matters
While brief, this chapter condenses a potent argument about the nature of human connection. It challenges the reader to examine their own relationships—whether marriages, friendships, or spiritual communities—through a lens of power rather than harmony. By doing so, it aligns And Yet with contemporary conversations about relational ethics and vulnerability. The poem’s direct address and visceral imagery make the abstract concept of “power struggle” immediate and personal. This chapter also demonstrates Baer’s technique of using cultural references (Rooney) both to ground the poem in a wider discourse and to grip the audience, turning a literary name into a rhetorical device.
❓ Study Questions and Answers
1. How does the poem use repetition to reinforce its central idea? The title line is repeated verbatim at both the beginning and end of the poem. This circular structure suggests that the power struggle is inescapable—it frames and contains the entire message. The reader is returned to the original assertion, leaving no doubt about the poem’s focus.
2. Why does the speaker mention Sally Rooney, and then immediately clarify that the observation isn’t only hers? The speaker uses Rooney as a familiar cultural reference to ground their claim in a respected contemporary voice, making it harder to dismiss. By then asserting “It isn’t only Sally Rooney,” the speaker broadens the claim beyond fiction to universal human experience, while also admitting they used the name strategically to “get your attention.”
3. What effect does the direct address (“you”) have on the reader? The “you” implicates the reader directly, turning the poem from an abstract observation into a personal challenge. The reader is forced to consider whether they, too, are in a power struggle they deny. This technique increases the emotional weight and confrontational tone of an otherwise brief poem.