Chapter summaries And Yet Kate Baer

Both Ways – And Yet Chapter 57 Summary and Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

In “Both Ways,” the speaker describes walking down to “the river of myself” and confronting a long‑held truth: as long as they are alive and can stand, they will want more than they have been given. This desire is relentless—“I will want and I will want”—and it drives them to try to consume every aspect of the world: the hardness of any man, the curve of any woman, and the mouth of anyone open for something other than conversation. Gazing into the reflection of their own youth, the speaker admits vanity and wishes they could love themselves. When asked about their intentions, they answer plainly: “darling, I have none. / I only have desire.”

Key Events

  1. The speaker walks to the metaphorical “river of myself.”
  2. They recognize an eternal truth about their own wanting.
  3. The speaker declares an insatiable desire to “swallow every part / of this world.”
  4. They specify attraction to “any man” and “any woman,” as well as anyone whose mouth is open for purposes beyond talk.
  5. The speaker looks at their younger self in the river’s reflection and admits they would “have myself / if I could stand her.”
  6. When a listener (“darling”) asks for the speaker’s intentions, they confess having none—only desire.

Character Development

There are no named characters. The poem’s speaker functions as a single, introspective voice. Over the course of the chapter, the speaker moves from a general acknowledgment of their own wanting to a specific, vulnerable admission about self-acceptance. The final couplet sharpens this: the speaker strips away any pretense of purpose, leaving raw appetite. The addressee (“darling”) remains shadowy, serving only as a witness.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs Actually Evidenced Here

  • Desire as a Fundamental Force – The poem centers on wanting as an inescapable, almost biological condition. The repetition “I will want and I will want” emphasizes its persistence.
  • The River as the Self – “The river of myself” is a symbol for introspection and the flow of identity. Looking into it is both a mirror and a current that carries the speaker’s past and present.
  • Bisexuality / Pansexuality – The pairing “the hardness of any / man and the curve of any / woman” explicitly names attraction to multiple genders. The title “Both Ways” reinforces this fluid orientation.
  • Youth and Vanity – The speaker’s reflection of their youth is seen “so vainly,” linking self‑image with pride and regret. They wish they could stand their younger self, suggesting ongoing self‑struggle.
  • Intention vs. Instinct – The rejection of intentions in favor of desire sets impulse against rational purpose. The speaker embraces a state of wanting without explanation.

Why This Chapter Matters

“Both Ways” is a turning point in And Yet: it lays bare the raw energy that drives many earlier and later poems. The speaker’s honesty about wanting everything—every gender, every experience—without apology or justification challenges conventional narratives about love, sexuality, and self‑worth. The poem’s structure (a repeated first stanza, then a two‑line conclusion) mirrors the obsessive, cyclical nature of desire. For readers, it offers a model of radical self‑acceptance: acknowledging that we may never be able to stand our own reflection, yet we keep walking to the river.

Study Questions and Answers

1. What does the river symbolize in this poem, and why does the speaker walk to it?
The river represents the speaker’s inner self—their history, emotions, and identity. Walking to it signals an act of deliberate self‑examination. The speaker goes there not to find peace, but to see what they have “always known” about their own insatiable wanting.

2. How does the title “Both Ways” relate to the content of the poem?
The title points to the speaker’s attraction to “any man” and “any woman,” as well as the duality of wanting both physical experience and self‑acceptance. It also suggests a two‑way street between the speaker and their desire: the river flows both outward and inward.

3. Why does the speaker say they have “no intentions” and only “desire”?
By rejecting intentions, the speaker removes any rational justification for their wants. They present desire as a pure, pre‑moral impulse—something that exists outside of purpose or explanation. This confession strips away social masks and leaves a raw, vulnerable truth.

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