Maternal Ambivalence in Verity: A Mother's Darkest Truths

Defining Maternal Ambivalence in the World of Verity

Maternal ambivalence—the coexistence of love and hatred toward one's child—is the psychological engine that drives Colleen Hoover's explosive thriller. Through Verity Crawford's autobiographical manuscript, Hoover dismantles the sanctified image of motherhood, replacing it with a raw, often repellent portrait of a woman who views her twins as rivals for her husband's affection. Verity's hatred begins in pregnancy and escalates to attempted infanticide, forcing readers to grapple with a question that haunts the novel: Can a mother who tries to kill her children still be a mother, or does she forfeit that identity?

To understand this theme fully, readers must trace it across three pivotal phases of Verity's story: her pregnancy and attempted abortions, her postnatal repulsion, and her calculated assault on her infant daughter. Each stage reveals a different shade of ambivalence—jealousy, disgust, and a twisted protective instinct. The manuscript functions as both a confession and a weapon, while symbols like the wire hanger, the scar on Chastin's cheek, and the video monitor literalize the internal war Verity wages against her own body and offspring.

For context on the characters involved, see our guides to Verity Crawford, Lowen Ashleigh, and Jeremy Crawford. The autobiographical manuscript is the primary vehicle through which this theme is revealed.

Phase One: Pregnancy as Invasion

Verity's first confession in the manuscript is a stark admission: she does not want to be pregnant. Rather than viewing the fetus as a life to nurture, she sees it as a parasite stealing her body and, more importantly, Jeremy's attention. In the So Be It section of Chapter 9, Verity describes how she "prayed for blood when I went to the bathroom," hoping for a miscarriage. She secretly takes sleeping pills and drinks wine, attempts to "destroy the things that were going to push him away from me."

The climax of this phase is her attempted self-abortion with a wire hanger. After Jeremy tells Verity that he loves their unborn daughters "more than me" (as recorded in the same chapter), she retreats to the bathroom and tries to end the pregnancy for half an hour, until blood runs down her leg. The wire hanger becomes a symbol of the extreme lengths to which her ambivalence drives her. She wants not only to remove the babies but to reclaim Jeremy's devotion. In her mind, a miscarriage would produce the drama and sympathy she craves: she imagines waking him "frantic, and show him the blood" (Chapter 9). The irony is that the attempt fails—the twins survive, marked only by a permanent scar on one cheek.

This phase establishes that Verity's maternal ambivalence is not a fleeting doubt but a sustained, actionable hostility. It is rooted in jealousy and a possessive love for Jeremy that cannot tolerate competition.

Phase Two: Postnatal Disgust and Failed Bonding

After the twins' birth, Verity's repulsion shifts from the abstract idea of pregnancy to the physical reality of the infants. In Chapter 13's So Be It, she describes breastfeeding as "disgusting" and "wrong," flinching at the sensation of the baby sucking on "something Jeremy had sucked on before." She stops breastfeeding immediately, relieved when Jeremy agrees to formula. Her language during this scene is clinical and alienated: she calls the babies "things" and refers to Chastin as "the scarred one" for identification.

The naming of the children also reflects her detachment. She chooses names that Jeremy had suggested, not out of affection but to prove she is "trying to love him." Her emotional emptiness is most vivid when Jeremy cries over Chastin; Verity reacts with shock and resentment, noting, "He had never cried for me." The scar on Chastin's cheek becomes a permanent sign of Verity's early attempt to erase her children. It is a physical reminder that maternal love is not automatic and, in this case, never arrives.

During this period, Verity fakes her way through family life. She poses for matching-pajama photos that later delude even Lowen into thinking "If Verity didn't love the girls in this photo, she was certainly good at faking it" (Chapter 14). The contradiction between performance and reality underscores the social pressure to appear maternal, a pressure Verity both resents and exploits.

Phase Three: From Ambivalence to Violence

The most harrowing expression of maternal ambivalence occurs six months after the twins' birth, when Verity attempts to suffocate Harper. In Chapter 20, Verity describes a nightmare in which Harper smothers Chastin. Instead of interpreting this as a product of her own anxieties, she takes it as a premonition. "Convinced she must save Chastin," she shoves her fingers down Harper's throat to choke her. When Jeremy enters the room, Verity pretends to comfort the baby, and her immediate thought is terror that the video monitor may have captured her act.

This scene reveals a critical twist: Verity's violence is framed as a perverted form of maternal protection. She believes she is saving one daughter from the other. Yet the foundation of this belief is her own projection—she is the one who has felt murderous since pregnancy, and she cannot conceive of Harper as anything but a threat. The ambivalence here is not between love and hate for the same child but between two different children: Chastin (the one she "loves by saving") and Harper (the one she destroys).

The video monitor symbolically represents the threat of exposure. Verity's fear of being caught reflects her awareness that society would condemn her actions. Yet she persists, revealing that maternal ambivalence can coexist with cunning and self-preservation.

Complexity and Contradiction: The Unreliable Mother

The novel's ending throws Verity's entire confession into doubt. Her letter to Jeremy (Chapter 35) claims she never killed her daughters and that Jeremy tried to kill her. Lowen destroys the letter, leaving readers with two competing narratives. If Verity's manuscript is a lie, her maternal ambivalence may be an elaborate fiction to punish Jeremy. If the letter is a lie, then the ambivalence is authentic and monstrous.

This ambiguity deepens the theme. Maternal ambivalence is not simply evil and irrational; it can also be strategic. Verity uses the manuscript to manipulate Lowen's perception of her, and by extension the reader's. The question becomes not whether Verity is ambivalent, but whether ambivalence itself can be a performance. The scar on Chastin's cheek remains real—whether caused by Verity's wire hanger or by an in-utero scratch—but the meaning assigned to it shifts. The reader must choose which version of motherhood to believe: the one where hatred leads to violence, or the one where hatred is a mask for self-defense.

For further exploration of the novel's symbolic architecture, see the analyses of the red dress and locked doors, which also speak to themes of deceit and entrapment.

Study Questions on Maternal Ambivalence

Use these questions to deepen your understanding of the theme and prepare for discussion or essays.

Question 1: How does Verity's obsession with her physical appearance during pregnancy reflect her ambivalence toward motherhood?
Answer: Verity views her body as a "machine" that must be kept toned and firm. Pregnancy disrupts this regimen, and she feels "disgusted" by even a small protrusion. Her self-care is narcissistic: rather than seeing the baby as part of her, she sees it as a foreign agent ruining her. This physical repulsion mirrors her emotional refusal to accept the maternal role.

Question 2: Compare Verity's first attempt at breastfeeding with her later attempt to suffocate Harper. What do these scenes share?
Answer: Both scenes involve a mother's hand in the baby's mouth. In breastfeeding, Verity feels violated because her breast is "being used" by the infant. In the suffocation attempt, she uses her fingers to block Harper's airway. The shared oral intrusion suggests that Verity experiences feeding—the most basic maternal act—as an attack, which she eventually reciprocates with literal violence.

Question 3: Why is it significant that Verity names Chastin based on the scar? What does this reveal about her view of identity?
Answer: Naming her "the scarred one" reduces the baby to the mark of Verity's own failed abortion. The name “Chastin,” which Verity says means “the one who suffered,” permanently labels the child as a victim of her mother's ambivalence. This shows that Verity defines her children by the harm she imagined inflicting, not by their separate personhood.

Question 4: How does the video monitor subvert Verity's control over her maternal narrative?
Answer: The monitor, meant to let parents watch over their children, nearly becomes evidence of infanticide. Verity realizes she forgot to plug it in, and her fear of being caught forces her to stop the attack. The device represents the surveillance of motherhood—the constant societal eye that both judges and fails to protect the vulnerable child, since it catches nothing.

Question 5: Does the ending (the letter vs. the manuscript) make Verity more or less sympathetic as a mother? Defend your answer.
Answer: The letter suggests Verity was a loving mother whose dark confessions were coerced or exaggerated. This could make her sympathetic by implying she was victimized. However, the manuscript includes detailed, visceral memories that feel authentic. If the letter is true, ambivalence becomes a lie; if the manuscript is true, ambivalence becomes truth. The ambiguity forces readers to confront that they may never know the real Verity—which is itself a kind of narrative ambivalence.

For more on the story's structure and characters, return to the main Verity page.