Chapter 5: So Be It – Verity Meets Jeremy

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Chapter 5 opens with Verity Crawford's author's note justifying her raw, ugly autobiography. She recounts meeting Jeremy at a charity event while wearing a stolen red dress designed to be easily removed. She misled him about her age and admitted she stole the invitation. Jeremy calmed her drinking, led her to a limousine that wasn't his, and they fled when the driver returned. They ate at Steak 'n Shake before going to his small Brooklyn studio apartment, where they spent three days together. Verity describes their intimate connection and her immediate obsession with pleasing Jeremy, culminating in her feeling as though she "fell" into a new life. She reflects that she was his sole reason for living until something else became more important.

Key Events

Verity establishes her philosophy for the autobiography: honest, ugly, and discomforting.
She recalls the charity party, wearing a stolen red dress that is purposefully "fuckable."
Jeremy approaches her at the bar, instructs the bartender to serve her water, and she challenges him.
They share a tense conversation about drinking, age, and backgrounds; both admit they do not belong at the event.
Jeremy leads Verity to a limousine that belongs to someone else; they are caught by the driver and run away laughing.
They drive to a Steak 'n Shake in his Honda Civic; he sexually teases her but holds back.
They go to his studio apartment, where Verity has sex with him for the first time, feeling emotionally connected.
She acknowledges she became obsessed: "I needed to be what made him smile, breathe, wake up in the mornings."
Verity reveals that for a while she was his sole reason for living—until he discovered something that meant more to him than she did.

Character Development

Verity: Presents herself as a calculated, resourceful woman who uses her appearance and lies to get what she wants. Her encounter with Jeremy triggers a shift from physical detachment to emotional investment. She admits to falling for him quickly and developing an obsessive need to please him. The chapter reveals her vulnerability and capacity for deep attachment, setting up future conflict.
Jeremy: Initially appears as an arrogant, confident man who asserts control (telling the bartender to serve water), but reveals he is actually an "entry-level scrub" driving a Honda Civic. His charm, honesty about his financial status, and attentive foreplay show a considerate side. Verity notes his smile and voice, and his ability to make her feel "found."

Themes, Symbols, and Motifs

Authenticity vs Performance: Verity's author's note condemns "counterfeit thoughts" and demands autobiography that is "ugly and honest," yet the chapter describes her performing a role (the intentionally fuckable dress, lying about her age). This tension suggests Verity may be unreliable even when claiming brutal truth.
Fate vs Choice: Verity questions whether her tragic end was destiny or poor choices. The line "find what you love and let it kill you" (Bukowski epigraph) foreshadows her devotion to Jeremy leading to ruin.
Power Dynamics: Jeremy's command at the bar establishes him as the dominant figure, but Verity's internal narrative shows she is also manipulating the situation ("I was the cheese, not the mouse"). Their mutual game of control underscores the entire courtship.
Obsession and Gaps: Verity's immediate obsession and the claim that Jeremy loved her "more than anything" until something else supplanted her create a mystery about what that "something" is (likely his children or another person).

Why This Chapter Matters

Chapter 5 is the origin story of Verity and Jeremy's relationship, providing the emotional foundation for the entire novel. It confirms Verity's capacity for deep, consuming love and jealousy. The author's note also establishes Verity's narrative philosophy, warning readers that what follows will be disturbing. The final line—that something became more important to Jeremy than Verity—plants a crucial seed for later revelations and justifies her later actions.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does Verity choose to tell the story of her first meeting with Jeremy in such explicit, even unflattering detail?
She aims to fulfill the promise of her author's note: an autobiography that is "ugly and honest" and strips away all pretenses. By including her theft of the dress, her lies about age, and her raw sexual desire, she demonstrates willingness to expose her worst self to the reader.

2. How does the power dynamic shift between Verity and Jeremy during their first hour together?
Initially Jeremy takes control by telling the bartender to serve water, but Verity resists and walks away. He then explains his motive (wanting her sober to make a choice), and she eventually orders water herself. Both admit their lower-status backgrounds, leveling the field. The power becomes mutual, though Jeremy reasserts leadership when he initiates physical touch and decides to feed her before having sex.

3. What does Verity mean when she says, "I fell in that moment. Not in love. I just…fell"?
She distinguishes the feeling from romantic love. "Falling" for her represents a release of control and a leap into vulnerability—trusting that Jeremy would catch her. It is the beginning of an emotional dependency that grows into obsession, not yet fully developed love but a surrendering of her guarded self. Back to Book Hub | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter