Trust vs Fear in Things We Never Got Over

Defining the Thematic Claim: Choosing Love Over Fear

In Things We Never Got Over, Lucy Score weaves a thematic argument that trust is not the absence of fear but the decision to act in spite of it. Both protagonists, Naomi Witt and Knox Morgan, enter the story carrying the wreckage of past betrayals that have taught them to keep people at arm’s length. Naomi has been repeatedly let down — by her twin sister Tina, by her ex-fiancé Warner, and by a lifetime of being the reliable “good twin” who never comes first. Knox, meanwhile, has built his entire adult identity around emotional isolation, convinced that caring deeply guarantees devastating loss.

The novel’s central conflict stages a direct confrontation between fear—which urges self-protection and withdrawal—and trust, which requires vulnerability and the willingness to risk pain. By tracing this battle across the plot and examining the symbols that represent each force, readers see how both characters must unlearn their defensive patterns to build a relationship rooted in mutual reliance.

Part One: The First Seesaw of Trust and Mistrust

When Naomi arrives in Knockemout, she is immediately mistaken for her chaotic twin, Tina. Knox storms into Café Rev and threatens her, assuming she is the woman who has been causing trouble in town. This moment encapsulates the thematic tension: fear makes Knox see a familiar threat; trust would require him to pause and see an individual.

Naomi, despite her fear, stands her ground. She reveals her identity, and Knox eventually offers her a ride after her car is towed. The chapter notes she “reluctantly begins to trust him,” highlighting that trust is a conscious choice—even when every instinct screams caution. The coffee she wanted becomes a recurring token of connection. Later, Knox will bring her coffee during stressful days, literalizing the offering of comfort that builds trust.

This early exchange sets a pattern: each time fear pushes them apart—Knox’s gruffness, Naomi’s impulse to flee—a small act of faith pulls them back together. The wedding dress Naomi retrieves from her ruined wedding to Warner serves as a parallel symbol of trust broken. She abandons the dress, refusing to let its memory dictate her future.

Part Two: The Breaking Point – Fear Dressed as Self-Protection

The most critical test of the theme occurs around the midpoint of the novel when Knox ends their relationship. After Nash is shot, Knox is confronted with the reality of losing someone he loves. His response is to push Naomi and Waylay away, telling Naomi she is “too complicated” and offering her money to ease his guilt.

The evidence reveals Knox’s internal reasoning: “I saw it as taking care” (Evidence 0041-0003). He has learned to equate financial provision with emotional distance. Nash’s confrontation in the hospital waiting room lays bare the core problem: “You’re scared down to your fucking bones that you’ll fall hard and end up like Dad. … You could have been happy, man. Not just safe.” Knox’s fear of becoming his father—a man who abandoned his family—manifests as a desperate attempt to control outcomes by avoiding attachment.

Naomi, meanwhile, processes the breakup by naming her own fear of never being “enough.” In her phone call with Stef (Evidence 0040-0004), she admits, “I can’t believe I fell for him.” Her fear is that her neediness makes her unworthy. But the community around her—Bud Nickelbee fixing her door, Justice offering broken-hearted cookies—shows her that trust can be rebuilt through small, consistent acts. Liza J. and Naomi’s father, Lou, both confront Knox, showing him that his fear is a prison of his own making.

Part Three: The Climactic Choice – Trust Over Fear

The third major turn arrives when Tina kidnaps Naomi to force her cooperation with a criminal scheme. Tina’s flash drive—a flash drive holding incriminating information—represents the secrets and manipulations that have governed both sisters’ lives. Naomi, however, actively chooses to trust that Knox will come for her. She does not collapse into helplessness; she gathers intelligence and waits for the rescue she believes is coming.

Knox likewise makes a decisive choice. Instead of retreating into his bunker mentality, he risks his own safety to save Naomi and Waylay. This is the moment his fear loses its grip. He chooses to show up—exactly what Nash accused him of being unable to do. When he finds Naomi, the trust between them has been rebuilt on the foundation of his action, not his words.

The epilogue solidifies the triumph of trust. Knox plans a 12th birthday party for Waylay with an obstacle course, proposes to Naomi, and reveals Tina has signed over parental rights. The final image of daisies in Naomi’s hair symbolizes the hope and renewal that only becomes possible when both characters stop letting fear dictate their choices. As Knox’s author’s note states, the novel’s theme is “the bravery of loving despite knowing love’s end, choosing love over fear repeatedly.”

Complexity and Contradiction

The theme is not presented as a simple binary. Knox’s fear is rooted in genuine trauma: the loss of his mother, his father’s addiction, his grandfather’s death. He has legitimate reasons to be wary. The novel suggests that fear is not weakness but a survival instinct that must be acknowledged before it can be transcended.

Similarly, Naomi’s tendency to over-function and suppress her own needs is both a strength and a liability. She meets every crisis with lists and competence, but that very self-reliance can become a wall against intimacy. The story insists that trust requires both parties to be vulnerable—neither one can carry the relationship alone.

The character of Tina Witt serves as a foil: she never learns to trust or take responsibility, remaining trapped in her own destructive cycle. The symbol of the wedding dress that Naomi leaves behind marks her decision to stop letting past betrayals define her future choices.

Study Questions and Answers

1. How does Knox’s fear of repeating his father’s mistakes drive his decision to push Naomi away?
   Answer: Knox’s father abandoned the family, and Knox has spent his life determined not to become him. When his feelings for Naomi deepen, he panics, believing that attachment will inevitably lead to loss. He ends the relationship to regain control, mistakenly equating self-protection with protection of others.

2. What role does Waylay play in breaking down Naomi’s and Knox’s respective fears?
   Answer: Waylay represents a shared responsibility that neither can abandon. Her vulnerability forces both characters to act beyond their comfort zones. Naomi learns to parent through trust rather than control; Knox learns that being a safe adult for Waylay means risking emotional exposure.

3. Analyze the use of coffee as a recurring symbol of trust in the novel.
   Answer: Coffee appears in almost every key scene between Naomi and Knox. From the first refused latte to Knox bringing her coffee during Nash’s hospitalization, the drink signals peace offerings, care, and the willingness to provide comfort without expectation. It becomes a ritual of small trust.

4. How do Naomi’s lists (in Chapter 42’s “The New Naomi”) reflect her relationship with fear?
   Answer: Naomi uses lists to create order and predictability, which gives her a sense of control in a chaotic world. After the breakup, she writes a list to “fake it till you make it,” revealing that even her coping mechanism is a form of pretending. The arc of the novel requires her to let go of rigid control and trust spontaneity.

5. What is the significance of the flash drive in relation to the theme?
   Answer: The flash drive contains evidence of Tina’s criminal activities—secrets that could destroy trust. Its presence forces Naomi to confront the truth about her sister and her own past enabling. By cooperating with Knox and the police, Naomi chooses transparency over secrecy, thereby breaking the cycle of fear-based deception.