Found Family in The Long Game: How Shane and Ilya Build Their Chosen Circle

Defining Found Family in The Long Game

In Rachel Reid’s The Long Game, the found family theme does not treat blood ties as obsolete; instead it positions intentional, supportive relationships as essential for survival and growth. Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov cannot lean on their biological families for full acceptance of their relationship—Ilya’s parents are absent, and Shane’s mother, while loving, is initially kept in the dark. The novel argues that a chosen family, built from teammates, friends, and community, offers the safety and affirmation necessary for two closeted NHL stars to eventually live openly. This network grows organically through acts of care, mentorship, and shared vulnerability, culminating in a wedding where biological and chosen families merge.

Tracing the Theme Across the Plot

1. Ilya’s Mentorship of Troy Barrett (Chapter 18 and 31)

Ilya’s first significant act of building a chosen family occurs with teammate Troy Barrett. In Chapter 18, Ilya finds Troy hungover after a night of drinking triggered by a difficult visit from his father. Rather than report him, Ilya offers a Gatorade, orders him to rest, and says, “Family can be hard. Fathers.” This small gesture of empathy—coming from someone who understands parental estrangement—plants the seed of trust. Later, in Chapter 31, Ilya accepts an invitation to dinner at Harris Drover’s family farm, where Troy has found a new home. At the farm, Ilya meets the Drover clan and a stray dog that he instantly bonds with. The dog, whom he names Anya, becomes a symbol of the unconditional welcome Ilya receives from this unexpected chosen family. The scene underscores that Ilya’s found family includes not only Troy but also Harris’s parents, sisters, and even the animals. The symbol of Anya the dog represents the open-armed acceptance of a family that chooses you.

2. Shane’s Friendship with Hayden Pike (Chapter 12 and 9)

Shane’s closest ally in Montreal is teammate Hayden Pike. In Chapter 9, Hayden invites himself to Shane’s hotel room after watching a scary movie, and they discuss fatherhood, kids, and Ilya. Hayden knows about the secret relationship and offers unwavering support, even joking about babysitting future Rozanov-Hollander children. In Chapter 12, when Jackie sprains her ankle, Hayden calls Shane for help, and Ilya ends up babysitting the four Pike kids. Ilya paints the girls’ nails with sparkles and carries Jackie to the car. The episode transforms a potential romantic day into a shared family duty—a test that Ilya passes with joy. The Pikes become a model of the domestic future Shane and Ilya crave. This friendship is a cornerstone of their found family, providing a safe space to imagine parenting and normalcy.

3. Community Affirmation in Ottawa (Chapter 33)

After being outed by the leaked video, Ilya and Shane face intense pressure, but their Ottawa community rallies. In Chapter 33, Ilya discovers a hand-drawn sign from his elderly neighbors Willa and Andrew: “We love you, Ilya!” It sits beside Funko Pop figures of both players. Ilya sends a photo to Shane with the text, “We are not so alone, I think.” This moment crystallizes the theme: chosen family can extend beyond friends to include neighbors and strangers who offer solidarity. It directly counters the fear of isolation that haunts Shane throughout the novel. The sign is a quiet but powerful symbol of a community that chooses to embrace them.

4. The Wedding and Blending Families (Chapter 39)

The culmination of the found family theme occurs at Shane and Ilya’s wedding. With nearly a hundred guests in Ilya’s backyard, the ceremony unites biological family (Shane’s mother, sister, and extended relatives) with chosen family: Hayden, Jackie, Troy, Harris, Coach Wiebe (who reveals his own bisexual past), and Ilya’s therapist Galina. Ilya gets ready with David, Shane’s stepfather, who tells Ilya he is “like a second son.” The justice of the peace officiates, and they exchange rings—a symbol of commitment that also represents the new family they are creating. The wedding is not just a romantic milestone; it is the formalization of a support network that has been years in the making.

Character and Symbol Connections

Shane Hollander: The cautious planner who learns to trust others beyond his biological family. His friendship with Hayden and acceptance of Ilya’s new relationships (e.g., with the Drovers) show his growth.
Ilya Rozanov: The instinctual gatherer who actively builds a circle. His mentorship of Troy, adoption of Anya, and willingness to accept Shane’s family as his own drive the found family arc.
Hayden Pike: The steady, humorous friend who provides a blueprint for a happy, out family life.
Troy Barrett: A fellow player who, like Ilya, has a difficult father. Their bond proves that teammates can become brothers.
Anya the dog: A living symbol of unconditional welcome and the home that Ilya creates with Shane.
Willa and Andrew’s sign: Represents the unexpected support of neighbors, proving that chosen family can come from anywhere.
The wedding rings: Not just romantic, but a seal on the community they have built.

Complexity and Contradiction

The theme is not without tension. Both Shane and Ilya initially resist the idea of a chosen family because they fear exposure. Shane’s strategy of playing “the long game” involves keeping Ilya at arm’s length from his teammates for nearly a decade. Ilya’s own family history—his cold, demanding father—makes him wary of trusting others. The contradiction is that the very secrecy that protects their career prevents them from fully accessing the support of a chosen family. Only when they come out do they discover that many people already had their backs.

Another layer of complexity is the risk of betrayal. Hayden’s accidental video leak nearly destroys them, highlighting that even the most trusted friends can cause harm, albeit unintentionally. The novel acknowledges that found family is not perfect; it requires forgiveness and resilience. Yet the overall arc is hopeful: the community they build is strong enough to withstand even a public outing.

Study Questions and Answers

1. How does Ilya’s relationship with Troy Barrett exemplify the construction of a chosen family?

Ilya’s choice to help Troy after his relapse, rather than expose him, establishes a bond of trust. Later, Ilya accepts an invitation to Harris’s farm, where he meets Troy’s new support network. By adopting the stray dog Anya from that farm, Ilya symbolically joins the Drover family, extending his own chosen family.

2. What role does the Pike family play in Shane and Ilya’s found family?

The Pikes provide a model of a loving, hockey-centered family. Shane babysits their children, and Ilya paints the girls’ nails, performing domestic roles that they cannot yet claim in their own secret relationship. The Pikes also offer immediate support after the outing, proving they are allies.

3. In what way does the neighbor’s sign in Chapter 33 challenge Shane’s fear of isolation?

The sign “We love you, Ilya!” shows that even strangers in Ilya’s community accept him. This counters Shane’s belief that coming out will lead to rejection. It reassures him that a wider circle of chosen family exists beyond friends.

4. How does the wedding scene resolve the tension between biological and chosen family?

The wedding blends both: Shane’s mother and sister attend, and David tells Ilya he is like a second son. Ilya’s found family—teammates, Coach Wiebe, Galina—are present. The ceremony formalizes that Ilya and Shane’s family includes blood relatives and the people who chose them.

5. What is the significance of Anya the dog in the found family narrative?

Anya is a stray taken in by the Drovers, a farm family Ilya barely knows. By adopting her, Ilya accepts the unconditional love and belonging that the farm represents. Anya also becomes a shared responsibility for Ilya and Shane, symbolizing their new domestic life and the family they are building together.