Wedding Rings: From Secret Token to Public Vow

What Are the Wedding Rings in The Long Game?

The wedding rings that Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov exchange are physical objects representing their lifelong commitment. In the story, the rings appear in three distinct contexts: a children’s pretend wedding, the formal proposal, and the legal ceremony. Each instance carries a different symbolic weight, mirroring the evolution of their relationship from secret to public.

Where Do the Rings Appear?

1. The Children’s Play Wedding (Chapter 12)

Early in the novel, Shane and Ilya participate in an impromptu wedding ceremony staged by the Pike children, Ruby and Jade. The rings are cheap plastic heart shapes—pink and purple—that barely fit. Ilya and Shane play along, saying “I do” with surprising emotion. This scene is lighthearted but foreshadows their real marriage. The rings here are purely symbolic, a child’s interpretation of love, but both men treat the moment with a sincerity that hints at their deeper longing.

2. The Proposal (Chapter 25)

Shane proposes to Ilya in his Ottawa living room, surrounded by electric candles. He brings out a single black band with a gold interior. Ilya cannot fit the ring on his finger, so he places it on a gold chain he already wears—the same chain that holds a crucifix pendant that was his mother’s. He then wears the ring close to his heart, hidden under his shirt. This marks the transition from secret lovers to engaged partners, yet the ring remains invisible to the outside world.

3. The Wedding Ceremony (Chapter 39)

The epilogue wedding takes place in Ilya’s backyard, with around a hundred guests. Both men now have properly sized rings. During the vows, Shane says “With this ring, I shall love, honor, and cherish you,” and Ilya mutters “Gross” before laughing. The ceremony is informal, but the rings are exchanged as legal symbols of marriage. Afterward, Ilya wears his ring openly, representing full public commitment.

How the Symbol’s Meaning Changes

The wedding rings evolve through three stages:

• A playful token – In the children’s wedding, the rings are plastic and meaningless, yet they trigger real emotional reactions from both men. This shows their subconscious desire for a future together.
• A hidden promise – The proposal ring becomes a secret symbol. Worn on a chain under clothes, it represents a commitment known only to them. Ilya touches it for comfort and reassurance, but it also reminds him of the fear of being discovered.
• A public declaration – At the wedding, the rings are worn openly. They no longer require hiding. The metal circles become visible markers of a love that the world now acknowledges.

Connections to Themes

Secrecy and Coming Out

The rings’ progression from hidden to visible mirrors the central journey of the novel. For years, Shane and Ilya keep their relationship secret. The proposal ring is a bridge: it belongs to them but cannot be shown. Only when they come out together can the ring finally move to Ilya’s finger in plain sight. → Learn more about secrecy and coming out.

Mental Health and Depression

Ilya’s therapy sessions (Chapter 29) reveal that he often presses the ring against his chest when anxious. The ring becomes a physical anchor against his fears that Shane might change his mind or that public knowledge will ruin their careers. It is both a comfort and a source of pressure. → Explore mental health and depression.

Sacrifice and Devotion

Shane buys the proposal ring before he knows Ilya’s answer—a gamble on their future. He admits he “didn’t want to be cocky,” but the act of purchasing the ring is itself a sacrifice of his fear. During the wedding, the exchange of rings formalizes years of silent devotion. → Read about sacrifice and devotion.

Toxic Hockey Culture

The ring hidden under a jersey underscores the danger of being out in professional hockey. Ilya envies Troy Barrett’s locker room coming out (Chapter 29) but knows he and Shane cannot have that same acceptance because of their rivalry and the sport’s homophobia. The ring’s invisibility is a direct result of toxic hockey culture. → See toxic hockey culture.

Found Family

Ilya has no biological family present at the wedding. Instead, his ring chain holds his mother’s crucifix, and Shane’s father David helps him put on cuff links. The wedding rings become part of a larger narrative where Ilya is welcomed into the Hollander family. The rings symbolize not just a marriage but a new kinship. → Discover found family.

Connections to Characters

Shane Hollander – The proposal is his idea. He buys the ring, chooses the candles, and gets down on one knee. For Shane, the ring is a declaration that he will always choose Ilya, a promise he makes after both men have faced near-death experiences. He is the active giver of the symbol. → More on Shane Hollander.

Ilya Rozanov – Ilya wears the ring on a chain until the wedding. He touches it during therapy and when feeling insecure. For him, the ring is a tangible connection to Shane and to hope. When he finally wears it on his finger, he knows the world can see he belongs to someone—and someone belongs to him. → More on Ilya Rozanov.

Supporting characters – The children’s play rings are given by Ruby and Jade Pike, whose innocent question “Are you going to get married?” prompts the first mock ceremony. Later, the real rings are noted by the justice of the peace and the guests, affirming the community that has gathered around the couple.

Study Questions

1. How does the material of the rings—plastic in the play wedding, gold and black in the proposal—reflect the different stages of Shane and Ilya’s relationship?
   Answer: The plastic rings are disposable and childlike, matching a time when marriage is only a game to the kids but a deep wish for the men. The gold-and-black band is elegant and permanent, representing a serious commitment that must first remain hidden on a chain before it can be worn openly.

2. Why does Ilya put the proposal ring on a chain with his mother’s crucifix instead of on his finger?
   Answer: The ring does not fit because Shane did not know his size, but the action also symbolically joins his love for Shane (the ring) with his love for his late mother (the crucifix). By wearing both next to his heart, Ilya creates a private family shrine that includes his mother’s memory and his future with Shane.

3. In what way does the open wearing of the wedding rings at the ceremony contradict the earlier need to hide the relationship?
   Answer: For years, Shane and Ilya wore nothing that could hint at their bond. The proposal ring was hidden under clothing. At the wedding, the rings are displayed in front of a hundred people, including teammates, coaches, and family. This visibility signals that secrecy is over and their love no longer requires concealment.

4. How does the children’s play wedding influence the real wedding later?
   Answer: The play wedding primes Shane and Ilya to imagine a future together in a low-stakes setting. Their emotional reactions to the plastic rings—“I do” said with feeling—reveal their true desires. The real wedding ultimately honors the mock ceremony by making the promises real, and they even revisit the moment when Ilya tells Ruby the earlier wedding was “the real one.”