Paper Flowers in The Eyes Are the Best Part: Symbol of Futile Hope and Grief

Introduction: A Wedding Craft Turned Ritual of Grief

In Monika Kim's The Eyes Are the Best Part, the paper flowers that Umma folds for her wedding to George begin as a mundane craft project and evolve into one of the novel's most resonant symbols. Made from tissue paper, chicken wire, and electrical tape, these artificial blossoms appear at key moments of emotional crisis, tracing the arc of Umma's futile hope, her deepening grief, and the destructive cycle of waiting for men who abandon her. The flowers are not merely decorative; they become a physical manifestation of her psychological state, a ritual she performs in the face of loss, and a mirror for the family's inherited trauma. By tracing their recurrence and transformation, we can see how a simple craft object carries the weight of the novel's central themes: the politics of looking, the burden of filial duty, and the refusal to wait—or the tragic inability to stop waiting.

Literal Description and Craft

The paper flowers are constructed from three materials: colored tissue paper, chicken wire, and electrical tape. In chapter 43, Umma drags Ji-hyun to four different craft stores and returns with ten shopping bags stuffed with these supplies, intending to make centerpieces for her wedding to George. The process, described in chapter 62, involves wrapping wire in tissue paper and forming loops in pink and purple paper. The prototypes she makes early on are described as “wilted and clumsy,” yet Ji-won and Ji-hyun smile and nod when she shows them. The flowers are fragile, artificial, and labor-intensive—qualities that mirror Umma's own precarious hold on her relationship and her deteriorating health.

As the wedding approaches and George's absence grows, the flowers become more than a craft. In chapter 52, Umma sits by the door every night with her supplies, folding and folding “as if her paper flowers will bring George back.” Her hands become so damaged that they resemble “birdlike claws,” requiring her daughters to massage them with warm water compresses. By chapter 62, she is crying over the flowers, and the tears make them unusable; the ruined pile grows larger as she keeps making them. The flowers are no longer decorations but a desperate, futile act of hope.

Recurrence and Escalation

The paper flowers appear at five distinct points in the narrative, each time with increasing intensity and desperation:

Chapter 43: Umma buys supplies and makes prototypes, while altering her wedding dress and wearing a crooked veil. She is anxious about George's trip, glancing at the door and shoe rack, reminiscent of when her father left.
Chapter 49: George is away preparing for a presentation. Umma folds flowers, sometimes with Ji-won and Ji-hyun helping until their fingers bleed. She is uneasy about his changed behavior.
Chapter 52: One month before the wedding, George has almost disappeared. Umma folds every night by the door, her face pale and gray, her hands ruined. She calls George, begging him not to call off the wedding.
Chapter 62: Umma stays home from work, watching sad dramas and crying. She wears her wedding dress and crooked veil while folding flowers, but the tears ruin them. The ruined pile grows.
Chapter 63: Umma's fingers are raw and bleeding, her nails torn down to the exposed flesh. She looks alarmingly thin and unwell, as if she might dissolve into the air.

This escalation mirrors George's withdrawal. The flowers appear more frequently and with more frantic energy as Umma's hope fades. They become a barometer of her emotional collapse.

Shifting Meaning: From Hope to Futility

The paper flowers undergo a clear semantic shift over the course of the novel. Initially, they represent hope and new beginnings—a wedding, a fresh start with George. In chapter 43, they are part of the wedding planning, a tangible project that gives Umma purpose and distraction. The prototypes, though clumsy, are shown with pride.

As George's absence grows, the flowers become a desperate ritual. In chapter 52, Umma folds them “as if her paper flowers will bring George back.” The conditional “as if” underscores the futility: she knows, on some level, that the flowers cannot change his mind, yet she continues. The act of folding becomes a way to exert control over an uncontrollable situation, a domestic ritual that offers the illusion of agency.

By chapter 62, the flowers are ruined by tears. Umma cries over them, and the tears make the tissue paper soggy and unusable. The ruined pile grows, symbolizing the collapse of her hope. The flowers are no longer objects of beauty but artifacts of grief. They are artificial, like the relationship itself—constructed from fragile materials, unable to withstand the weight of reality.

The flowers also echo Umma's past. In chapter 4, we learn that she stayed behind when her parents emigrated, waiting for them to return. She never doubted they would come back, but they didn't. This pattern of waiting for absent loved ones repeats with her father (Appa) and now with George. The paper flowers are the latest iteration of this cycle—a physical manifestation of her inability to stop waiting, even when waiting is futile.

Character and Theme Connections

Umma is the primary figure associated with the paper flowers. They are her project, her obsession, and her undoing. The flowers reveal her deep-seated need for male validation and her fear of abandonment. They also show her resilience—she keeps folding even when her hands bleed—but that resilience is misdirected, channeled into a hopeless endeavor.

Ji-won (the narrator) and Ji-hyun are drawn into the flower-making. In chapter 49, they help until their fingers bleed, a visceral image of the burden of filial duty. They are complicit in their mother's ritual, even as they recognize its futility. Ji-won's perspective is critical: she sees her mother's deterioration and feels both pity and frustration. In chapter 62, she recalls Umma's claim that she knew her daughters better than anyone because she carried them, but Ji-won realizes this is untrue—Umma does not understand her feelings, or she would not have brought George into their house. The flowers thus become a site of intergenerational tension, where the mother's hope clashes with the daughter's disillusionment.

George is the absent catalyst. The flowers are made for him, but he never sees them as meaningful. He is indifferent to Umma's labor, just as he is indifferent to her love. The flowers highlight the asymmetry of their relationship: Umma invests everything, George invests nothing.

Thematically, the paper flowers connect to several of the novel's central concerns:

Domestic ritual as a site of control and resistance: Umma's folding is a ritual that gives her a sense of agency, even as it fails to change her circumstances. It is a way of coping with powerlessness.
The cycle of abandonment and the refusal to wait: The flowers are a physical manifestation of waiting. Umma waits for George, just as she waited for her parents and her husband. The flowers represent her inability to break this cycle.
The burden of filial duty: Ji-won and Ji-hyun are drawn into the ritual, their bleeding fingers symbolizing the cost of caring for a parent who cannot care for herself.
Consumption as a coping mechanism: While the flowers are not consumed, they parallel the fish eyes that Umma eats for luck. Both are attempts to control fate through physical acts—eating, folding—that ultimately fail.

Study Questions and Answers

1. How do the paper flowers change in meaning from chapter 43 to chapter 62?

In chapter 43, the flowers are wedding centerpieces, symbols of hope and new beginnings. By chapter 52, they have become a desperate ritual to bring George back, folded every night by the door. By chapter 62, they are ruined by tears, representing grief and futility. The shift mirrors Umma's emotional arc: from optimism to denial to despair.

2. What do the materials and process of making the flowers reveal about Umma's state of mind?

The materials—tissue paper, chicken wire, electrical tape—are fragile and artificial, reflecting the precariousness of her relationship. The labor-intensive process, which leaves her hands bleeding and claw-like, shows her desperation and deteriorating health. The fact that she continues despite the pain suggests a compulsive need to hold onto hope, even when it is destroying her.

3. How do the paper flowers connect to the theme of waiting and abandonment?

The flowers are a physical manifestation of waiting. Umma folds them as if they will bring George back, echoing her earlier wait for her parents and her husband. The flowers represent her inability to stop waiting, even when waiting is futile. They are a symbol of the destructive cycle of abandonment that defines her life.

4. In what ways do Ji-won and Ji-hyun participate in the flower-making, and what does that participation signify?

Ji-won and Ji-hyun help fold the flowers, sometimes until their fingers bleed. This participation signifies the burden of filial duty—they are drawn into their mother's ritual even as they recognize its futility. It also shows their complicity in the family's dysfunction, as they enable Umma's denial. Ji-won's critical perspective, however, suggests a growing awareness that she must break this cycle, even if it means rejecting her mother's hope.

Conclusion

The paper flowers in The Eyes Are the Best Part are far more than wedding decorations. They are a symbol of futile hope, grief, and the destructive cycle of waiting that defines Umma's life. From their clumsy prototypes to the ruined pile soaked in tears, they trace the arc of a woman who cannot stop hoping, even when hope is gone. Through their recurrence, the flowers illuminate the novel's themes of domestic ritual, abandonment, and filial duty, and they offer a poignant commentary on the cost of loving someone who will not stay.

For further exploration, see the main book page, the themes of consumption as a coping mechanism, the cycle of abandonment, and domestic ritual as control. Character studies of Umma and Ji-won provide additional context.