Umma (Mother) Character Analysis in The Eyes Are the Best Part
Overview: A Mother Shaped by Waiting and Loss
Umma, the mother in Monika Kim's The Eyes Are the Best Part, is a figure of profound emotional fragility and dependence. She is defined by a lifetime of waiting—for her parents to return, for her husband to come back, and later for George to love her. Her actions, driven by a desperate need for security and affection, set the novel's tragic events in motion. While she is not the protagonist, her choices and vulnerabilities are the engine of the plot, and her relationship with Ji-won forms the emotional core of the story. This analysis traces her arc, motivations, and the themes her character illuminates, distinguishing what the text explicitly shows from interpretive readings.
Plot Role: The Catalyst for Ji-won's Descent
Umma's role is primarily catalytic. Her abandonment by her husband (Appa) in the opening chapters triggers the family's instability and Ji-won's protective instincts. Her subsequent relationship with George—a white man she believes will provide the love and stability she craves—introduces the novel's central conflict. George's presence in the household, his abuse, and his eventual murder by Ji-won all stem from Umma's decision to bring him into their lives. In the final chapters, Umma's grief over George's death and her continued passivity solidify Ji-won's resolve to take violent action against Appa, whom she holds ultimately responsible. Thus, Umma is not merely a background figure but the emotional and narrative pivot on which the story turns.
Motivations and Traits Shown Through Actions
Umma's motivations are rooted in a fear of abandonment and a longing for love. The text shows this through several key actions:
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Superstitious rituals: After Appa leaves, she eats fish eyes, believing they bring good luck and might bring him back (Chapter 2). This action reveals her desperate, magical thinking and her refusal to accept reality.
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Waiting and hovering: In Chapter 4, she haunts the apartment entrance, listening for her father's footsteps. The narrator notes, “Umma is someone who is used to waiting.” This is a direct statement of her character.
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Seeking love through George: She brings George into the house, cooks his favorite dishes (bulgogi in Chapter 56), and plans a wedding. Her need for male validation overrides her daughters' discomfort and safety.
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Emotional volatility: She weeps, wails, and collapses into fits of laughter and despair. In Chapter 5, she cries when her daughters question her beliefs about white men, exclaiming, “I’m an old, ugly woman with nobody to love me.” This shows her deep insecurity.
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Manipulative tenderness: She extracts a pinky promise from Ji-won to never marry a Korean man, using emotional pressure to impose her own fears onto her daughters.
These actions paint a portrait of a woman who is simultaneously caring and self-absorbed, loving yet unable to protect her children from her own poor choices.
Chronological Arc: From Abandonment to Grief
Umma's arc follows a clear trajectory:
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Abandonment (Chapters 1–3): Appa leaves after an affair. Umma weeps, cooks his favorite foods, sets an extra place, and eats fish eyes for luck. She is in denial and deep grief.
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Waiting and nostalgia (Chapter 4): Two months later, she still waits by the door. The narrator recounts her childhood in poverty, where she was left alone by her parents and survived by eating snow and bark. This backstory explains her fear of abandonment.
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New hope (Chapters 5–56): She meets George, a white man, and becomes infatuated. She believes he is the answer to her loneliness. She plans a wedding, but George's behavior becomes erratic and abusive.
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Disillusionment (Chapter 56): When George fails to come home, she waits for him, refusing to let her daughters eat until he arrives. Ji-won confronts her, calling her “pathetic,” and she retreats to her bedroom.
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Grief and collapse (Chapters 62–63): After George's death, she mourns deeply, watching sad dramas and crying. She becomes physically ill, with torn nails and sunken cheeks.
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Resolution (Chapter 73): She mourns George, and Ji-won realizes she was wrong to blame her mother. The narrator reflects that Umma allowed men to control her and is now lost without them.
This arc shows a woman who repeatedly seeks external validation and is repeatedly crushed when it fails.
Relationships: The Web of Dependence
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With Ji-won: Their relationship is fraught. Ji-won resents her mother's weakness and the chaos she brings. In Chapter 56, Ji-won harshly criticizes her, but by Chapter 73, she acknowledges her mother's powerlessness and no longer resents her grief. Ji-won's final plan to punish Appa is framed as protecting her mother.
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With Ji-hyun: Ji-hyun is more empathetic and tactful, often calming Umma. She has “good nunchi,” as Umma says. Ji-hyun's gentleness contrasts with Ji-won's bluntness.
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With Appa: He abandoned her, and she never fully recovers. She waits for him, and even after George, she remains haunted by his absence.
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With George: She sees him as a savior, but he is abusive and unfaithful. She ignores red flags, such as his pornographic images, and clings to the idea of marriage.
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With her parents: Her childhood abandonment by her parents (who left to find work and returned months later) is a formative trauma. She chose to stay behind, believing they would return, and survived alone. This experience explains her inability to let go of people.
Key Decisions and Consequences
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Eating fish eyes: This act of superstition fails to bring Appa back, but it establishes her reliance on magical thinking and sets a tone of desperation.
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Bringing George into the house: This is the most consequential decision. It leads to George's abuse of Ji-won, his murder, and the family's unraveling.
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Planning the wedding: Even after George's behavior worsens, she refuses to cancel, leading to further emotional and physical harm.
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Waiting instead of acting: Her passivity—waiting for Appa, waiting for George—allows problems to escalate. Ji-won ultimately takes action because her mother cannot.
Theme and Symbol Connections
Umma's character is deeply tied to the novel's central themes:
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Consumption as a coping mechanism: Her eating of fish eyes and her cooking of elaborate meals are attempts to control her environment and find luck. This connects to the theme of consumption as a coping mechanism for inherited trauma.
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The cycle of abandonment: She was abandoned by her parents, then by her husband, and she repeats this pattern by clinging to George. This is explored in the cycle of abandonment and the refusal to wait.
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The politics of looking: Umma is often the object of the gaze—her husband leaves her, George looks at other women. Yet she also looks outward, waiting for someone to return. This ties to the politics of looking and the reversal of the gaze.
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Domestic ritual: Her cooking, setting the table, and folding paper flowers are rituals of control and resistance. See domestic ritual as a site of control and resistance.
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Filial duty: Ji-won's burden to protect her mother and sister is a direct result of Umma's helplessness. This is central to the burden of filial duty and the cost of protecting family.
Five Book-Specific Questions and Answers
1. Why does Umma eat fish eyes after her husband leaves?
She believes fish eyes bring good luck and that eating one might bring her husband back. In Chapter 2, she says, “Fish eyes are good luck. If I eat one, maybe it will bring your father back.” She eats one despite her daughters' horror.
2. What childhood experience shapes Umma's fear of abandonment?
As a child in 1970s Korea, her parents left to find work and did not return for months. She chose to stay behind, surviving alone by eating snow, bark, and small animals. This is recounted in Chapter 4, where the narrator describes her mother's refusal to leave with her siblings.
3. How does Umma react when George fails to come home for dinner?
She waits for him, refusing to let her daughters eat until he arrives. She makes bulgogi, his favorite dish, and grows increasingly anxious. When Ji-won confronts her, she retreats to her bedroom in tears (Chapter 56).
4. What does Ji-won realize about her mother in Chapter 73?
Ji-won realizes she was wrong to blame her mother for the family's troubles. She sees that Umma's grief comes from powerlessness, and that Umma allowed men to control her and make all the big decisions. Ji-won no longer resents her mother's mourning.
5. What is Umma's ultimate fate in the novel?
The text does not specify her fate beyond her mourning and physical decline. In Chapter 73, she is present, weeping over George's death, while Ji-won plans to visit Appa. The novel ends with Ji-won's intention to punish Appa, leaving Umma's future ambiguous.
For further discussion, see the ending explained and questions and answers pages.