Fear of Abandonment and Its Impact on Trust in The Dating Plan

The Thematic Claim: Abandonment as a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy in The Dating Plan (2021) by Sara Desai — Fear of Abandonment and Its Impact on Trust Theme Analysis. In The Dating Plan, Sara Desai traces how childhood experiences of parental abandonment and abuse shape adult patterns of self-protection that paradoxically prevent the very intimacy both protagonists crave. Daisy Patel and Liam Murphy each carry wounds from being left—Daisy by her mother and then by Liam at prom, Liam by a father who rejected him and a family that (he believed) turned a blind eye—and these wounds manifest as rigid rules, secrecy, and preemptive withdrawal. The novel's central argument is that trust cannot be built through control or distance; it requires the courage to risk being left again. The fear of abandonment becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: the more each character tries to protect themselves from being hurt, the more they hurt themselves and each other. Only by confronting the past and choosing vulnerability can they break the cycle. This analysis traces the theme across three key plot movements, examines the character and symbol connections that reinforce it, and addresses the complexity of the novel's treatment of abandonment and trust. For a broader overview of the novel, see the book home page. For detailed character studies, see the pages for Daisy Patel, Liam Murphy, Sanjay Patel, and Brendan Murphy. For symbol analysis, see the pages for the dating plan spreadsheet, the motorcycle, and the distillery.