Chapter 37: Vi's Perspective on July 28, 1978
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
On July 28, 1978, Vi experiences a sudden and overwhelming realization about her own nature. As she sits in the office, voices—all hers, she understands—sing in her head in golden, crystalline tones. In a flash, she comprehends that her lifelong obsession with monsters, old movies, stories, and legends was never a mere fascination. It was preparation, a way of readying herself for the day she would wake up and see what she truly was.
She finds Iris still on the floor of the office, sitting amid a mess of scattered papers and file folders. Iris calls out to her, but Vi is focused on the final file they had found. She rips off the back cover, which has a photograph stuck to it. The photo shows a girl labeled “Patient S,” smiling with contentment. Vi looks at the girl and sees someone who was cared for and loved by her grandmother—a smart, clever, kind woman, the best doctor in the world. The grandmother had baked her favorite cake, sweet and light, like the food of angels.
As she stares at the photograph, Vi recalls a birthday wish. The God of Birthdays sings, and the God of Wishes urges her to make a wish. The wish that surfaces feels as if it had been inside her all along, working its way up from deep within her conscious mind: she had wished for a sister. Someone to share everything with. But looking at the girl in the photograph, this pitiful, know-nothing girl, Vi hardly recognizes herself.
She flicks on Gran’s lighter and touches the tip of the file folder to the flame. It catches. Iris, now on her feet and swaying, asks what she is doing. Vi shakes her head. She is no longer Vi. She thinks of her true name—Patient S? The Monster? She searches her memory for a name from a past life, for some flash of a girl with real parents and a real sister, but finds only darkness. It doesn’t matter. She is not that girl anymore, nor is she Violet Hildreth. She is someone—something—else altogether.
The folder is fully engulfed, and the flames burn her fingers, pulling her back into her body—but whose body? She drops the burning folder onto the other papers on the desk, then gathers more files and papers, adding them to the little pyre. Iris comes closer, shouting for her to stop, but Vi pushes her away and orders her to stay back. Smoke and ash rise, blackened curls of burned paper drift down, and the carpet catches fire, sending up a hideous chemical stink. Vi throws broken chair parts onto the flames.
The desk itself catches fire, and flames shoot up to the low drop ceiling. The plastic cover over the fluorescent lights melts, the bulbs explode, and the room goes dark. Iris screams, and the monster laughs. Vi laughs until she chokes on the thick, plastic-scented smoke. Iris is coughing and choking too. Through the smoke, Vi can barely see her—a pale figure standing just behind her, her shadow, her doppelgänger. Vi takes Iris’s hand. Iris fights, tries to pull away, but Vi holds tight and tugs her away from the fire, toward the door.
Key Events
-
Vi realizes her obsession with monsters was preparation for discovering her own monstrous nature.
-
She finds Iris on the office floor amid scattered papers.
-
She tears the back cover off a file, revealing a photograph of a girl labeled “Patient S.”
-
She recalls a birthday wish for a sister.
-
She uses Gran’s lighter to set the file on fire, then adds more files and broken chair parts.
-
The desk catches fire, the ceiling melts, and the room fills with smoke.
-
Iris screams, and Vi laughs until she chokes.
-
Vi takes Iris’s hand and leads her away from the fire toward the door.
Character Development
Vi’s transformation is the core of this chapter. She moves from a state of confusion and obsession to a stark acceptance of her identity as a monster. The realization is not gradual; it arrives in a flash, and she immediately acts on it by destroying the evidence of her former self. Her rejection of the name “Vi” and her inability to recall any earlier name underscore her complete break from the past. She no longer sees herself as the girl in the photograph—the cared-for, loved child—but as something else entirely.
Iris remains a passive but crucial presence. She is disoriented and frightened, calling out to Vi and trying to stop her. Her role as Vi’s “shadow” or “doppelgänger” is emphasized in the final moments, when Vi sees her as a pale figure behind her. Yet Vi’s decision to take Iris’s hand and pull her to safety suggests a lingering connection, perhaps the very sisterhood she once wished for.
Gran is present only through memory and objects—the lighter, the photograph, the cake. She represents the loving, protective figure who cared for “Patient S,” but also the one who kept secrets. Vi’s use of Gran’s lighter to burn the files is a symbolic rejection of that care and the identity Gran helped create.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
Identity transformation is the central theme. Vi’s shift from Violet to “the Monster” is both internal and external, marked by her refusal to answer to her old name and her physical destruction of the files that defined her.
The monster within is made explicit. Vi’s lifelong obsession with monsters was, she realizes, a form of self-preparation. The chapter suggests that the monster was always there, waiting to be acknowledged.
Fire as destruction and rebirth is a powerful symbol. Vi uses fire to annihilate the past—the files, the photograph, the desk, the room itself. The burning is both an act of violence and a purification, clearing space for her new identity.
The doppelgänger appears in the form of Iris, whom Vi sees as her shadow. This motif reinforces the idea that Vi and Iris are two sides of the same self, or that Iris represents the humanity Vi is leaving behind.
The true name is a recurring motif. Vi’s search for her “true name” and her inability to find it highlight her loss of a coherent self. She is neither Patient S nor Violet Hildreth; she is something unnamed.
The birthday wish for a sister is a poignant symbol of connection and longing. It foreshadows the relationship between Vi and Iris, and its placement in this chapter suggests that Vi’s wish has been fulfilled in a twisted way—she has a sister, but she is also the monster.
The photograph serves as a symbol of the past self, the innocent girl who was loved and cared for. By burning it, Vi destroys that image and all it represents.
Why This Chapter Matters
This chapter is a pivotal turning point in the novel. It marks the moment when Vi fully embraces her monstrous identity and takes decisive action to sever herself from her past. The burning of the files is not just an act of destruction; it is a declaration of self. Vi’s realization about her obsession with monsters reframes the entire narrative, suggesting that her earlier fascination was never accidental but a form of self-knowledge.
The chapter also deepens the relationship between Vi and Iris. Vi’s final act—taking Iris’s hand and leading her to safety—complicates her transformation. Despite her embrace of the monster, she still protects Iris, hinting that the sisterhood she wished for may still exist, even if it is now shadowed by darkness.
This chapter sets up the climax of the novel, as Vi’s actions have consequences that will likely unfold in the remaining chapters. It also raises questions about the nature of identity, memory, and the stories we tell about ourselves.
Study Questions and Answers
1. What does Vi realize about her obsession with monsters, and how does this realization change her understanding of herself?
Vi realizes that her lifelong obsession with monsters was not a mere interest but a form of preparation. She had been unconsciously readying herself for the day she would wake up and recognize what she truly was. This realization transforms her self-perception: she no longer sees herself as Violet Hildreth or the innocent girl in the photograph, but as a monster. It is a moment of self-acceptance, albeit a dark one, and it drives her to destroy the evidence of her former identity.
2. Why does Vi burn the files, and what does this act symbolize?
Vi burns the files to destroy the record of her past—the photograph, the name “Patient S,” and the story of the girl who was cared for by her grandmother. The act symbolizes her rejection of that identity and her embrace of a new, monstrous self. Fire serves as both destruction and purification, clearing away the old to make room for the new. It is also a way of severing ties with Gran and the secrets she kept.
3. How does Vi’s interaction with Iris in this chapter reflect the theme of sisterhood?
Vi’s interaction with Iris is complex. She pushes Iris away and orders her to stay back, but at the end, she takes Iris’s hand and pulls her toward the door. This suggests a lingering bond, perhaps the very sisterhood Vi wished for on her birthday. However, Vi also sees Iris as her “shadow” or “doppelgänger,” implying that Iris may represent the part of Vi that is still human. The act of saving Iris, even as Vi embraces her monstrous nature, shows that the wish for a sister is still alive, though now entangled with darkness.
Navigation
-
Previous Chapter: Chapter 36 Summary