The Lipstick Motif in Take My Hand: Femininity, Care, and Dignity

The Lipstick Motif: A Small Object with Deep Resonance in Take My Hand

In Dolen Perkins-Valdez's Take My Hand, a tube of lipstick might seem like a trivial detail, but it recurs at two crucial moments in the narrative, carrying weight far beyond its cosmetic function. The novel uses this everyday object to explore themes of femininity, care, poverty, and the quiet assertion of dignity in the face of systemic neglect. By tracing the appearances of lipstick—first as a found, used item in the hands of a young girl, and later as a deliberate purchase by the adult narrator—we can see how the motif evolves from a marker of deprivation to a symbol of agency and self-worth.

The Literal Object and Its First Appearance

The first concrete appearance of lipstick occurs in Chapter 41, during the trial of the Williams sisters' case. Civil Townsend, the nurse who has become deeply involved in the lives of Erica and India Williams, visits their home and brings groceries. While helping Mrs. Williams prepare dinner, the girls return from school. Erica excitedly shows Civil a tube of lipstick she has found. The evidence describes it as “dirty and flattened all the way down to the tip.” Erica explains that a friend told her she could wipe it off with a tissue and it would be “like new again.” Civil's immediate impulse is to offer to buy her a new tube, but she holds back because she senses Mrs. Williams watching her. She resolves to purchase new lipstick for Erica the next day.

This scene is rich with meaning. The lipstick is not new; it is a discarded object, used and worn down. For Erica, it represents a small treasure, a chance to participate in a form of feminine self-presentation that she otherwise cannot afford. The fact that she has to rely on a found, used item underscores the family's poverty and the limited resources available to them. It also highlights the ways in which girls and women are expected to perform femininity, even when they lack the means to do so properly. Civil's reaction—her desire to provide a new tube—reveals her instinct to care for the girls and to restore a sense of dignity that poverty has eroded.

The Second Appearance: A Purchase Decades Later

The second key moment occurs in Chapter 53, set in 2016. Civil, now in her late sixties, has just visited the sisters, who are now grown women. After checking out of her hotel in Montgomery, she stops at a drugstore and buys a plum lipstick and silver earrings. She then calls Ty, her former love, and tells him she is on her way to Birmingham. This purchase is deliberate and self-directed. Unlike Erica's found lipstick, this is a new item, chosen by Civil for herself. The color—plum—is specific and suggests a mature, confident choice.

The contrast between the two scenes is striking. In the first, lipstick is a scarce resource, a symbol of what the girls lack. In the second, it is a personal indulgence, a small act of self-care that Civil grants herself after decades of carrying guilt and responsibility. The purchase occurs immediately after her reunion with Erica and India, a meeting that brings closure and a sense of connection. The lipstick thus becomes a marker of Civil's own journey—from a young nurse trying to fix the world's injustices to an older woman who has learned to accept her limitations and to honor her own needs.

Symbolic Meanings: Femininity, Care, and Dignity

The lipstick motif weaves together several thematic threads. First, it speaks to the performance of femininity. In the 1970s setting, lipstick is a conventional sign of womanhood, a way for girls and women to present themselves as polished and respectable. Erica's desire for lipstick reflects her longing to participate in that norm, even though her circumstances make it difficult. The fact that she has to use a discarded tube highlights the gap between the ideal and her reality. Civil's purchase of plum lipstick in 2016 suggests that she has come to embrace her own femininity on her own terms, without the pressure of external expectations.

Second, lipstick is an instrument of care. Civil's immediate thought to buy Erica a new tube is an act of nurturing. She wants to give the girl something that is clean, new, and hers alone—something that affirms her worth. This aligns with the novel's broader theme of the ethics of care and the limits of good intentions. Civil's care is genuine, but it is also complicated by her position of privilege and her inability to fully protect the girls from the systemic forces that harm them. The lipstick becomes a tangible expression of her desire to make things right, even when she cannot change the larger structures.

Third, lipstick represents dignity. For Erica, having a lipstick—even a used one—is a way to feel normal, to feel that she is not entirely defined by her poverty. For Civil, buying a new lipstick for herself is an acknowledgment that she deserves small pleasures, that her own life matters beyond her role as a caretaker. The motif thus moves from a symbol of deprivation to one of self-respect.

Character Connections

The lipstick motif is most directly tied to Erica and Civil. Erica's found lipstick reveals her youthful innocence and her desire to fit in, while also exposing the harsh realities of her life. Civil's response shows her empathy and her commitment to the girls, even as she struggles with her own limitations. The scene also involves Mrs. Williams, whose watchful presence makes Civil hesitate. Mrs. Williams's skepticism about Civil's efforts—she later tells Civil, “You done enough”—reflects a broader tension about the role of outsiders in the lives of the poor. The lipstick becomes a point of negotiation between Civil's desire to help and Mrs. Williams's wariness of that help.

In the later scene, Civil's purchase of plum lipstick is a private act, but it is also connected to her relationship with Ty. She buys it just before calling him, suggesting that she is preparing to reconnect with a part of her past. The lipstick may symbolize her readiness to embrace her own desires and to move forward.

The Motif in the Context of the Novel's Themes

The lipstick motif resonates with several of the novel's central themes. It is a small, personal object that stands in contrast to the large, impersonal forces of medical racism and the legacy of Tuskegee and reproductive injustice and coerced sterilization. While the state and medical institutions strip the Williams sisters of their bodily autonomy, lipstick represents a realm of personal choice and self-expression that they can still claim, however imperfectly. It also connects to poverty, illiteracy, and institutional vulnerability, as Erica's found lipstick is a direct result of her family's lack of resources.

Furthermore, the motif ties into guilt, memory, and the long reckoning with complicity. Civil's purchase of lipstick in 2016 can be read as an act of self-forgiveness, a way of acknowledging that she did what she could and that she deserves to move forward. The lipstick is a small, tangible reminder of the girls she could not save, but also of the love she gave them.

Study Questions and Answers

1. How does the condition of Erica's found lipstick reflect her family's economic situation?

The lipstick is described as “dirty and flattened all the way down to the tip,” indicating that it has been heavily used and discarded. Erica's willingness to accept it, and her friend's suggestion that she can wipe it off and make it “like new again,” underscores the scarcity of resources in her household. The family lives in a shack, and the girls have few possessions. The lipstick is a luxury item that Erica cannot afford, so she must rely on a cast-off. This detail highlights the poverty that shapes the girls' lives and their limited access to even the most basic forms of self-care.

2. Why does Civil hesitate to offer to buy Erica a new lipstick, and what does this reveal about her relationship with Mrs. Williams?

Civil's immediate impulse is to offer to buy a new tube, but she stays quiet because she knows Mrs. Williams is watching her. This hesitation reflects the tension between Civil's desire to help and Mrs. Williams's wariness of outside intervention. Mrs. Williams has already expressed skepticism about Civil's efforts, telling her, “You done enough.” Civil's decision to wait and buy the lipstick the next day shows her respect for Mrs. Williams's authority and her understanding that her help can sometimes feel intrusive. It also reveals the complexity of care: even well-intentioned acts can be complicated by power dynamics and the recipients' own sense of pride.

3. What does Civil's purchase of plum lipstick in 2016 signify about her character development?

In 2016, Civil is an older woman who has spent her life as a nurse and caretaker. The purchase of a new lipstick for herself is a deliberate act of self-care, a departure from her habitual focus on others. The color plum suggests a mature, confident choice, and the purchase occurs right after she has reconnected with Erica and India, bringing a sense of closure. The lipstick symbolizes her acceptance of her own needs and her willingness to embrace her femininity on her own terms. It also marks a shift from guilt to self-compassion, as she acknowledges that she did what she could and that she deserves happiness.

4. How does the lipstick motif connect to the novel's exploration of dignity and agency?

Lipstick is a small, personal object that allows individuals to assert control over their appearance and identity. For Erica, even a used lipstick offers a way to feel normal and to participate in a social ritual of femininity. For Civil, buying a new lipstick is an act of self-affirmation. The motif thus contrasts with the systemic forces that strip the Williams sisters of their bodily autonomy through coerced sterilization. While the state and medical institutions deny them agency over their own bodies, lipstick represents a realm of personal choice that remains available to them. It is a symbol of dignity in the face of dehumanization, and it underscores the novel's message that small acts of care and self-respect matter, even when they cannot undo larger injustices.