Summaries Start Without Me Gary Janetti

Chapter 12: Movies — Summary, Analysis, and Key Themes

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

In this chapter, Gary Janetti recounts his childhood obsession with movies, focusing on the period from age nine to eleven. The chapter opens with his mother taking him and his sister to see Jaws at the UA Quartet on Northern Boulevard. The theater is packed, and the film terrifies Gary so much that he hides on the floor, peeking between the seats. When his mother offers to leave, he refuses, insisting this is the highlight of his life. He loves being scared. That same year, she takes him to The Stepford Wives, a film in which women are killed and replaced by robots, and the entire cast dies by the end. Gary loves it. His mother never questions whether these films are appropriate for a nine-year-old; she simply takes him to whatever she wants to see, and he appreciates that she trusts him to handle it. He notes that children in the 1970s were not given the emotional processing that is common today.

Gary becomes consumed with going to the movies, studying the film guide in the Daily News as if it were a sacred text. He devises elaborate strategies to persuade his mother to take him, often pitching films like Family Plot by reciting cast bios, plot summaries, and his own take on reviews. He learns that timing is everything: if he suggests a show that starts in fifteen minutes, she immediately sees through his manipulation and refuses. He must wait a day, then casually mention that rain might make Saturday a good day for a movie, and then wait for her to say "we'll see." This phrase becomes a source of both hope and dread, as it sometimes means yes and sometimes no. The uncertainty makes the eventual success more thrilling, and the rejections plunge him into a crushing depression that can last for days. He compares the emotional rollercoaster to that of a heroin addict.

When his mother is unavailable, Gary sometimes goes with his sister or their neighbor Carol Ann, who shares his taste in horror films. But even Carol Ann is hard to convince, and he often has to beg her. Eventually, he starts going to the movies alone, though he admits that watching a scary movie alone is never fun. He feels that his obsession with movies is something he must keep to himself, another thing that makes him feel "other." He describes his love of movies as an iceberg, with 90 percent hidden beneath the surface. He is skilled at hiding his true self, knowing from an early age that most of what he likes and who he is should not be shared. Everything about him feels off or wrong; the things he likes, he likes too much, and the things he doesn't like are the things all other boys do.

His favorite theater is the RKO Keith's in Flushing, a once-grand movie palace built in the 1920s as a vaudeville house. By the 1970s, it has been converted into a triplex and has fallen into disrepair, retaining a "Grey Gardens crumbling grandeur." He sees The Amityville Horror there, and the theater itself feels haunted. He later discovers online what the theater originally looked like and is awestruck by its beauty. He notes that Judy Garland and Mae West performed there, and that celebrities once arrived in limousines. The theater closes in the 1980s, and its shell still stands, rotting.

When Gary is eleven, Star Wars opens, playing at only two theaters—one in Manhattan and one on Long Island. His father, who rarely takes him to the movies, drives him to the UA Cinema 150 in Syosset. They wait in line for two hours, something Gary has never seen his father do. His father seems happy to wait, and when they finally get inside, he buys Gary a program for the movie. Gary is amazed by the film, feeling both small and big, and he notices that the theater is full of other fathers and sons, all equally excited. For that day, he feels like everyone else. He keeps the program for years, though it is now long gone.

Key Events

  • Gary's mother takes him and his sister to see Jaws at age nine; he hides on the floor but refuses to leave.
  • His mother also takes him to The Stepford Wives, which he loves despite its dark content.
  • Gary studies the Daily News film guide and develops a ritual of pitching movies to his mother, often ending with her saying "we'll see."
  • He sometimes goes to movies with his sister or neighbor Carol Ann, but eventually starts going alone.
  • He frequents the RKO Keith's in Flushing, a decaying former vaudeville palace, where he sees The Amityville Horror and sneaks into American Gigolo.
  • At age eleven, his father drives him to see Star Wars at a theater in Syosset, where they wait in line for two hours and his father buys him a program.

Character Development

Gary emerges as a deeply introspective child who is aware of his own otherness. His obsession with movies is not just a pastime but a way of understanding himself and the world. He learns to hide his true passions, believing they are not acceptable to share. His emotional highs and lows are extreme, and he recognizes that his intensity sets him apart from other boys. The chapter also shows his relationship with his parents: his mother is pragmatic and resistant to manipulation, while his father, though distant, makes a rare and meaningful gesture by taking him to Star Wars.

Mother is portrayed as a no-nonsense parent who does not coddle her children. She takes them to adult films without concern, trusts them to handle the content, and refuses to be manipulated by Gary's pitches. Her "we'll see" becomes a recurring motif, representing both her authority and the unpredictability of her decisions.

Father appears only briefly but significantly. He rarely takes Gary to the movies, but when he does, it is an event. His willingness to wait in line for two hours and buy a program shows a rare moment of bonding and generosity, making Gary feel momentarily like everyone else.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

  • Movies as obsession and escape: Gary's fixation on films is both a source of joy and a marker of his difference. The movies offer a world where he can feel big and small simultaneously.
  • 1970s parenting norms: The chapter highlights the casual, hands-off approach of the era, where children were taken to violent films without discussion and were expected to process them on their own.
  • The thrill of being terrified: Gary loves the adrenaline of horror films, which provides a controlled way to experience fear.
  • Negotiation and manipulation: The ritual of pitching movies to his mother is a game of strategy, teaching Gary about persuasion and the limits of control.
  • Emotional highs and lows: The rollercoaster of anticipation, success, and rejection mirrors the intensity of his feelings.
  • Feeling other and concealment of true self: Gary's belief that his interests are "not right" leads him to hide his true self, a theme that recurs throughout the memoir.
  • Decay and faded grandeur: The RKO Keith's represents lost beauty and the passage of time, paralleling Gary's own sense of being out of place.
  • Pop culture ephemerality: The contrast between the long-running Star Wars and today's instant-forgotten releases underscores how cultural moments have changed.
  • Father-son bonding: The Star Wars outing is a rare moment of connection, showing that shared experiences can bridge emotional distance.
  • Momentary belonging: For one day, Gary feels like everyone else, a fleeting but powerful sensation.
  • Loss and memory: The program he keeps for years, and the theater that rots away, symbolize the impermanence of cherished things.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter is pivotal in establishing Gary's inner life and his sense of alienation. It explains how his love of movies became a secret obsession, one that he felt he had to hide. The chapter also provides insight into his family dynamics, particularly his mother's pragmatic parenting and his father's rare but meaningful involvement. The Star Wars scene is a turning point, offering a glimpse of belonging that he rarely experiences. The chapter sets up themes of concealment and otherness that likely recur throughout the memoir, making it essential for understanding Gary's character and his journey.

Study Questions and Answers

1. How does Gary's mother's approach to moviegoing reflect the parenting norms of the 1970s, and what effect does it have on him?

Gary's mother takes him to adult films like Jaws and The Stepford Wives without concern for age appropriateness, and she does not engage in emotional processing afterward. This reflects a broader 1970s norm where children were given more freedom and less psychological coddling. For Gary, this means he learns to handle intense content on his own, and it fuels his love of being terrified. It also teaches him that his feelings are not something to be discussed, reinforcing his tendency to hide his true self.

2. What does the "we'll see" exchange reveal about the power dynamics between Gary and his mother?

The "we'll see" exchange shows that Gary's mother holds the ultimate authority. Despite his elaborate pitches and careful timing, she can always refuse, and her ambiguous response keeps him in a state of uncertainty. This dynamic teaches Gary that he cannot control outcomes, and it heightens the emotional stakes of each movie outing. It also demonstrates his mother's resistance to manipulation, as she sees through his tactics and forces him to wait.

3. Why is the Star Wars outing with his father so significant for Gary?

The Star Wars outing is significant because it is a rare instance of his father actively participating in his interests. His father waits in line for two hours, buys him a program, and seems genuinely happy to be there. For Gary, this creates a moment of connection and belonging, as he sees other fathers and sons sharing the same excitement. It makes him feel "like everyone else," a feeling he rarely experiences. The program he keeps for years becomes a tangible memory of this special day.

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