Chapter summaries Start Without Me Gary Janetti

Teaching Little Fingers How to Play: Chapter Summary & Key Takeaways

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

In Chapter 2, “Teaching Little Fingers How to Play,” Gary Janetti recounts his childhood piano lessons, which begin in the third grade. His mother insists that both he and his older sister, Maria, learn an instrument. Maria starts first and takes to it immediately, practicing daily and advancing quickly. Gary follows three years later, taking Wednesday afternoon lessons at The Church on the Hill, a Protestant church in his neighborhood, with a teacher named Mr. Anderson. His first music book is titled Teaching Little Fingers How to Play, and he muddles through the first year on charm and the simplicity of the material.

Gary rarely practices. He devises elaborate excuses, from losing his books to claiming he practiced at home. He describes his weekly dread, including a traffic light on the way to the church that always seems to be green, denying him even a few extra moments of freedom. After about two years, Maria advances beyond Mr. Anderson’s teaching and moves to the Manhattan School of Music for Saturday lessons. Gary continues with Mr. Anderson, though his heart is never fully in it.

Over time, Gary discovers a love for Broadway sheet music, practicing scores from West Side Story, Brigadoon, and Cabaret. At age twelve, he becomes obsessed with The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, particularly the song “Hard Candy Christmas,” which he plays and sings repeatedly. His mother, from upstairs, calls out “Sounding good!” regardless of his actual playing.

Gary tries to quit piano lessons, but his mother insists he take up another activity if he stops. Since he has never done any extracurricular activity, he continues with the lessons. By now, Mr. Anderson and Gary are like an old married couple, familiar with each other’s tricks.

In high school, Gary describes himself as having few friends, mostly acquaintances. He fixates on a classmate named Jim, a tall, handsome, straight boy who is friendly to him. Gary imagines a friendship and, during winter break of his sophomore year at St. Francis Prep, he calls Jim and invites him to go to the half-price ticket booth to get tickets to a matinee of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Jim declines with a simple “Uh, no, thanks.” Gary hangs up, frozen with embarrassment, realizing that this is not something fifteen-year-old boys normally do together. He sees Jim the following week, but cannot look at him, imagining what Jim might have told his mother. The “sickly plant” of his imagined friendship dies.

Gary finally stops piano lessons at the end of his junior year, around age seventeen. This time, his mother simply says “okay,” with no bargains. During his last lesson, Mr. Anderson talks about a bicycle trip he plans to take. Gary plays one or two pieces, and then his mother picks him up. They drive home in silence. Gary reflects that he has “both won something and lost.”

Key Events

  • Gary begins piano lessons in third grade after his mother insists both children learn an instrument.

  • Maria starts first and excels, eventually moving to the Manhattan School of Music.

  • Gary takes lessons at The Church on the Hill with Mr. Anderson, but rarely practices and devises excuses.

  • Gary discovers a love for Broadway sheet music, especially The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas at age twelve.

  • Gary tries to quit lessons, but his mother requires another activity, so he continues.

  • As a fifteen-year-old sophomore, Gary calls classmate Jim over winter break and invites him to a matinee of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas; Jim declines.

  • Gary finally stops lessons at the end of his junior year when his mother agrees without conditions.

Character Development

Gary: This chapter reveals Gary’s procrastination and avoidance, his love for Broadway musicals, and his emerging closeted gay identity. He uses excuses to avoid practicing, but also enjoys keeping Mr. Anderson off-balance, a skill he instinctively knows will be useful. His social isolation is evident in his fixation on Jim and his inability to make friends. The phone call to Jim is a rare, vulnerable attempt at connection, and its rejection deepens his sense of being different.

Maria: Maria is portrayed as talented and dedicated, practicing daily and advancing quickly. She becomes a piano performance major at NYU and plays at a French restaurant. Her success contrasts with Gary’s lack of commitment, highlighting sibling rivalry and parental expectations.

Mr. Anderson: Mr. Anderson is Gary’s piano teacher, a Protestant youth minister (or similar) who rides a bicycle. He insists on daily practice and can be “pissy” when Gary doesn’t comply. Over time, he becomes a familiar, almost comforting presence, and their last lesson is marked by a quiet conversation about a bicycle trip.

Jim: Jim is a tall, handsome, straight classmate with effortless confidence. He is friendly to Gary but not interested in a deeper friendship. His polite but firm rejection of Gary’s invitation is a turning point, underscoring Gary’s social awkwardness and fear of rejection.

Mother: Gary’s mother is insistent that both children learn an instrument, and later requires another activity if Gary stops. She is supportive in her own way, calling out “Sounding good!” during his practice, but her compliments are indiscriminate. At the end, she simply agrees to let him stop, without asking what he will do next.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Obligation vs. Passion: Piano lessons represent an obligation imposed by his mother, while Broadway musicals represent Gary’s genuine passion. He practices the latter eagerly but neglects the former, illustrating the tension between duty and desire.

Sibling Rivalry: Maria’s success and Gary’s lack of it create a contrast that fuels Gary’s feelings of inadequacy. Her concerts for company are accompanied by a prologue from his mother about her advanced studies, while Gary is sometimes asked to be her opening act—a role he refuses.

Catholic vs. Protestant Culture: Gary contrasts his Catholic school and church with The Church on the Hill, a Protestant church. He jokes that Catholics are “the RuPaul’s Drag Race of religions,” while the Protestant church is no-frills and hosts AA meetings. This cultural contrast highlights Gary’s sense of being an outsider even in his own neighborhood.

The Traffic Light: The traffic light on the way to piano lessons is always green, symbolizing the inevitability of his obligation and his powerlessness to delay it. He prays for it to turn red, but it never does, reinforcing his lack of control.

Broadway Musicals as Escape: Gary’s love for Broadway sheet music, especially The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, provides an emotional outlet. The song “Hard Candy Christmas,” about women facing an uncertain future, resonates with him deeply—he says, “Their pain was my pain.” This suggests his identification with outsiders and his own hidden struggles.

Closeted Gay Identity: Gary’s fixation on Jim, his fear of rejection, and his instinct to keep people off-balance all point to his closeted identity. He has no way to find “his people” in the pre-internet era, leaving him isolated.

Social Isolation: Gary describes his high school acquaintances as people you ride the elevator with, and his attempt to befriend Jim fails. The “sickly plant” metaphor for his imagined friendship captures his fragility and fear of reaching out.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter is pivotal in establishing Gary’s childhood and early adolescence, his family dynamics, and his emerging identity. It introduces key themes that will likely recur throughout the memoir: the search for belonging, the tension between obligation and passion, and the pain of being different. The piano lessons serve as a backdrop for Gary’s internal struggles, and his love for Broadway musicals becomes a lifeline. The phone call to Jim is a poignant moment of vulnerability and rejection, illustrating the difficulty of forming connections in a time before social media. The chapter ends with Gary stopping lessons, a quiet victory that also feels like a loss, as he has “both won something and lost.” This sets the stage for his continued journey toward self-acceptance.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does Gary continue piano lessons even though he wants to stop?

Gary continues because his mother says he must take up another activity if he stops. Since he has never done any extracurricular activity and doesn’t plan to start, he chooses to continue with the lessons rather than face the unknown. This reflects his avoidance of new experiences and his mother’s clever bargaining.

2. What does the song “Hard Candy Christmas” represent for Gary?

The song, about women facing an uncertain future after their whorehouse closes, resonates with Gary on a personal level. He says, “Their pain was my pain,” suggesting he identifies with their outsider status and fear of the future. It becomes a motif for his own hidden struggles and his desire to go on despite uncertainty.

3. How does the phone call to Jim affect Gary?

The phone call is a rare, brave attempt to reach out and form a friendship. Jim’s polite refusal makes Gary feel stupid and embarrassed. He realizes that his invitation to a Broadway matinee is not something fifteen-year-old boys normally do together, deepening his sense of isolation and reinforcing his fear of rejection. The experience haunts him and contributes to his social withdrawal.

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