Reminders of Him Chapter 34: Kenna’s Letter to Scotty – The Full Account

Spoiler Notice

This chapter contains the complete, unfiltered account of the accident that killed Scotty. If you have not yet read the book, proceed with caution.

Summary

Chapter 34 is a letter from Kenna to Scotty, written from prison, in which she finally recounts every detail of the night of the accident. She begins by remembering how much she loved his car, which felt like home. She describes the party they attended the night of his death, where she watched him charm everyone. They left early to go to their favorite spot at a lake, where they shared a passionate kiss in the water and then lay naked on the dock. Scotty mentioned wanting meatloaf and mashed potatoes, so they decided to go to a diner. Because Scotty had drunk more than she had, Kenna drove—despite being intoxicated herself. On the gravel road, she lost control of the car and it flipped into a ditch. The convertible roof was open. Kenna initially thought the damage was minor and that Scotty was just in shock, but when she touched him, her hand came away covered in blood. Scotty’s arm was crushed under the car, and he was unresponsive. Panicked, she tried to free him but could not. She searched for a phone but found none. Overwhelmed, she crawled out, vomited, and then ran toward the highway, trying to get hit by cars so she could die. She eventually walked home and collapsed. She woke to police in her room and was arrested. During interrogation, she remained silent. She learned later that Scotty had still been alive when she left him—he died from blood loss because his crushed arm cut off circulation. She was consumed by guilt. At her trial, she pleaded guilty, unable to speak. She was sentenced to seven years. Shortly after sentencing, she discovered she was pregnant with Diem. The letter ends with her daily mantra of apology and thanks, and her hope that one day she can forgive herself.

Key Events

Kenna writes a long letter to Scotty, addressing him directly.
She recalls the party they attended on the night of the accident.
They go to the lake, share a kiss, and decide to get food.
Kenna drives the car while intoxicated and crashes it.
She initially believes Scotty is unconscious, then discovers his injury.
She panics, tries to get help, but runs away from the scene.
She attempts suicide by standing in traffic but fails.
She walks home and collapses; police arrest her the next morning.
She learns Scotty died from blood loss after she left him.
She remains silent during interrogation and pleads guilty.
She is sentenced to seven years in prison.
After sentencing, she realizes she is pregnant with Scotty’s child.

Character Development

Kenna: This chapter offers the deepest insight into Kenna’s psyche. We see the full extent of her trauma, guilt, and self-loathing. She admits her actions were driven by shock and fear, not malice. Her decision to plead guilty reflects her belief that she deserves punishment. She also shows a fragile hope for forgiveness, especially from her daughter and from Scotty’s parents.

Scotty: Though deceased, Scotty’s character is further illuminated through Kenna’s memories. He is portrayed as magnetic, kind, and attentive. His small gestures made Kenna feel loved. The contrast between his joyful spirit and the tragic accident deepens the reader’s sense of loss.

Ledger (briefly): Ledger is present as Kenna reads the letter aloud to him. His physical reaction—gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white—shows his emotional involvement and hints at his growing understanding of Kenna’s pain.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Guilt and Self-Punishment: Kenna’s recurring mantra “I’m sorry. Thank you. I’m sorry.” illustrates how she internalizes blame and tries to atone daily.
Memory and Nostalgia: The entire chapter is a reconstruction of the last hours of Scotty’s life, showing how Kenna clings to every detail.
The Car as Symbol: Scotty’s car was a place of safety and comfort; after the accident, it becomes the site of his death, transforming its meaning forever.
Unreliable Narration from Trauma: Kenna acknowledges that her initial belief that Scotty was already dead was mistaken, highlighting how shock distorts perception.

Why This Chapter Matters

This is a turning point in the novel. It provides the definitive account of the accident, eliminating any ambiguity about Kenna’s actions and motivations. The reader now understands that she acted out of trauma, not malice, which recontextualizes her character and invites empathy. It also sets up the central conflict of the remainder of the story: Kenna’s struggle for forgiveness—from others and from herself.

Study Questions and Answers

Why does Kenna decide to plead guilty even though her attorney wanted to argue she was not in her right mind?
Kenna believes she deserves punishment. She feels so guilty and depressed that she wants to go to prison because she cannot face the outside world without Scotty. She also wants to spare Scotty’s family the pain of a lengthy trial.
What does the accident reveal about the theme of consequences and inexperience?
The accident shows how a single poor decision—driving while intoxicated—can have irreversible consequences. Kenna and Scotty were young and felt invincible, and their mistake cost Scotty his life and altered many others forever.
How does Kenna’s memory of the crime scene differ from the legal facts?
Kenna initially believed Scotty died instantly because his body was cold and limp. In reality, he was still alive when she fled, and his cause of death was blood loss from his crushed arm. This discrepancy haunts her because she might have saved him if she had stayed or sought help.