Chapter 3 Summary: Lily 1

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Chapter 3 opens with Lily reflecting on her relationship with her father. From the moment she was born, he wanted a boy, and he never let her forget that she disappointed him simply by being a girl. She recalls a moment in the car when she mentioned a fact about a Rolling Stones song, and her father turned off the radio, telling her she didn't know everything. She learned to stay silent around him.

The chapter then shifts to the previous summer, when Lily and her mother, Ava Campanello, left Point Reyes, California, for New Hampshire. Ava called it their “second chance,” and Lily thought about how her mother needed that chance too. During the drive, Lily admitted she was a mess, and Ava called her a hero. Lily glanced at the scars on her wrist, wondering if the new school would see them. She planned to cover them with scrunchies or bracelets. She told her mother she wasn't a hero, just someone who figured out how to stop being sad.

Back in the present, on December 7, 2018, Lily is getting ready for Asher's early Christmas gift. Maya speculates it might be his grandmother's ring, but Lily isn't jealous of Maya's long history with Asher. She thinks about how much she still wants to learn about him. She wears a shirt with three-quarter sleeves, not caring if Asher sees her scars because he already knows the whole story.

As she heads downstairs, she sees her mother in her Forest Service uniform, with her silver Stetson hat on the floor next to Boris, the deaf black Lab. Lily lists five things that make her mother a badass: her tracking skills, her zodiac memory trick, her knot knowledge, her adventurous past, and her fierce protectiveness. Ava looks tired, and Lily worries about her. They exchange banter about Christmas gifts and the Magi, and then Asher texts that he's arrived.

Asher drives Lily through the snowy New Hampshire night. They talk about music, bears, and pizza. Lily mentions that her father used to sing a song that comes on the radio, and she hates it. Asher tries to comfort her. They pass the opera house and Presidents' Square, where Lily comments on the statue of Franklin Pierce and his son's death. She pulls her sleeve down over her wrist, and Asher tells her she's not a ghost.

They pull into the A-1 Diner. Asher is excited, but Lily is confused. Inside, she sees a man with a gray beard sitting in a booth—her father, whom she hasn't seen in two years. Asher says, “Merry Christmas, Lily.” Lily is furious and panicked. She runs out and sits on a park bench in the snow. She recalls the last time she saw her father, at a fencing match two years ago, when he shouted drunkenly from the bleachers and she dropped her foil and ran.

Asher follows her and grabs her arm. They argue. Asher explains he wanted to give her a second chance with her father, because he knows what it's like to grow up without one. Lily tells him to get his hand off her arm. She twists away and walks through the snow toward the woods, saying that maybe giving Asher a chance was her first mistake.

Five days later, Lily is sick and has been home from school for three days. She's been avoiding Asher. The bruise from his grip is greenish-blue. Her mother notices it and asks if Asher is hurting her. Lily cries and whispers that he did hurt her, but not like her mother thinks. Ava holds her.

Lily learns that her father flew back to Seattle. She also checks the Oberlin early decision status, but it hasn't been updated. She texts with Maya, who says Asher is flipping out. Lily doesn't respond to Asher's many texts, including one begging her not to hurt herself again.

Later, she practices the cello, playing Bach's Cello Suite No. 1. She reflects on how the cello feels like holding the body of a woman, and how music has always been a way for her to escape.

Dirk, the co-captain of the hockey team, shows up at her door. He says he's messed up and asks her to read his English paper. He also makes a pass at her, saying he could be more than a friend. Lily tells him to go home. She reads his poorly written paper, then checks Oberlin again. She receives a deferral—her application will be reconsidered in the spring. She's devastated. She almost calls Asher but remembers they're not talking. She thinks about her father's concept of “mulligans” and decides nobody is a do-over of someone else.

She goes downstairs to make coffee, but gets distracted by the butcher block with knives on the counter. She thinks about how sharp a knife is. The doorbell rings, and then there's a knock. Whoever is there isn't going away.

Key Events

Lily recalls her father's disappointment in her gender and his harsh treatment.
She and her mother move from Point Reyes to New Hampshire for a fresh start.
Asher surprises Lily by taking her to a diner where her estranged father is waiting.
Lily is furious, runs out, and argues with Asher, who grabs her arm and leaves a bruise.
She walks home through the woods, feeling betrayed.
Five days later, she is sick and stays home; her mother notices the bruise and asks if Asher hurt her.
Lily admits he hurt her, but not in the way her mother thinks.
She learns her father flew back to Seattle.
She receives a deferral from Oberlin's early decision, which upsets her.
Dirk visits, asks her to read his essay, and makes a pass at her.
She reads his poorly written paper, then checks Oberlin again and is disappointed.
She considers calling Asher but doesn't, and goes downstairs where the doorbell rings.

Character Development

Lily: This chapter reveals her deep trauma from her father's emotional abuse and her struggle with self-harm (implied by the scars). She is guarded, afraid of being hurt, and yet desperate for connection. Her reaction to Asher's surprise shows her fierce boundaries and her fear of being controlled. Her vulnerability is evident when she cries to her mother, and her isolation is clear as she avoids Asher and Maya. Her passion for music (cello) is a core part of her identity.
Asher: He is shown as well-meaning but misguided. He tries to fix Lily's relationship with her father, believing it will help, but he fails to understand the depth of her pain. His grip leaving a bruise foreshadows potential violence, though his intent seems to be desperation rather than malice. He is also dealing with his own father's absence, which he reveals in the argument.
Ava Campanello: She is a protective, observant mother who notices the bruise and confronts Lily. She is tired and lonely, having given up her outdoor ranger job for a desk job to give Lily a fresh start. Her line about not knowing people as well as we think hints at her own secrets.
Dirk: He appears as a minor character but shows a predatory side, using Lily's vulnerability to make a pass at her. His poorly written essay contrasts with Lily's intellectual and musical sophistication.
Lily's father: Though off-page, his presence looms large. He is portrayed as emotionally abusive, drunk, and manipulative. His “second chance” concept is rejected by Lily.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Father-daughter conflict: The central conflict of the chapter. Lily's father's disappointment and abuse shape her worldview and her fear of being hurt.
Second chances: Ava's hope for a new beginning, Asher's attempt to give Lily a reunion, and Lily's rejection of the idea that people can be “do-overs.”
Concealment: Lily hides her scars with bracelets and long sleeves; she also hides her feelings from her mother and Asher.
Trauma and fear: Lily's fear of her father, and later of Asher, is palpable. She says she's afraid of herself, hinting at her self-harm history.
Betrayal: Asher's surprise feels like a betrayal to Lily, who trusted him with her past.
Music as identity: The cello is Lily's escape and her truest self. Playing Bach helps her cope.
Mother-daughter bond: Ava's protectiveness and Lily's trust in her, despite the secrets, is a strong theme.
Domestic violence: The bruise from Asher's grip and Lily's ambiguous statement (“He did hurt me, but not like you think”) foreshadow potential abuse.
Isolation: Lily feels alone, unable to talk to Asher, Maya, or even her mother fully.
The past haunting the present: Her father's reappearance and the memory of the fencing match show how the past intrudes.
College admissions anxiety: The Oberlin deferral adds to Lily's stress and sense of failure.
Knife imagery: The final image of the sharp knives on the butcher block suggests danger and possibly self-harm, echoing Lily's scars.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter is pivotal because it establishes the central conflict between Lily and Asher, and it plants seeds for the novel's larger mystery. Lily's traumatic past with her father explains her emotional fragility and her fear of being controlled. Asher's well-intentioned but harmful act—bringing her father back—creates a rift that will have lasting consequences. The bruise on Lily's arm is a physical marker of potential violence, and her ambiguous statement to her mother (“He did hurt me, but not like you think”) leaves the reader questioning what really happened. The chapter also introduces key motifs: music as solace, concealment of scars, and the danger of sharp objects. The ending, with the doorbell ringing and the knife imagery, creates suspense and foreshadows a turning point in the story.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does Lily react so violently to Asher's surprise of bringing her father to the diner?

Lily's reaction stems from years of emotional abuse and fear. Her father wanted a boy and constantly reminded her of her disappointment. He was also drunk at her fencing match, causing her to flee. Asher's attempt to force a reunion ignores Lily's trauma and her right to choose. She feels betrayed because Asher, who knows her story, should have understood that she would never want to see her father again.

2. What does the bruise on Lily's arm symbolize, and how does it complicate her relationship with Asher?

The bruise is a physical manifestation of Asher's forceful grip during their argument. It symbolizes the potential for violence in their relationship, even if Asher's intent was not malicious. It also complicates things because Lily tells her mother that Asher hurt her, but “not like you think,” which suggests she is protecting Asher or hiding a deeper truth. The bruise becomes a secret that Lily carries, adding to her isolation and fear.

3. How does Lily's relationship with music reflect her inner state in this chapter?

Music, specifically the cello, is Lily's escape and her truest form of expression. When she plays Bach's Cello Suite No. 1, she feels like the music is playing her, and it helps her forget her pain. The cello represents the person she wants to become—strong and independent. Her ability to lose herself in music contrasts with her inability to communicate her feelings to others, highlighting her isolation and her need for a safe outlet.

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