Chapter Seventeen
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
Julia accompanies Elizabeth to her East London flat, where she meets Laurent, a Jack Russell mix Elizabeth is dog-sitting for her stepsister. On the Tube ride, Julia had been processing Elizabeth's revelation: Gabe learned of Elizabeth's pregnancy the day he left Joshua Tree. Initially, this fact brings Julia relief—at last, a reason for his disappearance. But that relief lasts only one Tube stop. She realizes that surprising news, however jarring, does not excuse a month of silence.
At the flat, Elizabeth makes a pointed remark about not having alcohol, insinuating Julia enabled Gabe's drinking. Julia deflects, but the barb lands. The living room is cluttered—not dirty, but disorganized, full of piles and out-of-place objects. Julia notes this means things could easily disappear here, and Elizabeth genuinely might not know where Gabe's belongings are. She studies Gabe's album Dodger Stadium, silently asking his photograph why he never told her about the pregnancy.
Elizabeth's friends arrive one by one: Jeremy and Sungmi, Tasha and Divya, Emmanuel and Gloria, Paula and Joel—and Louis, the man Julia went home with the night before. The encounter is awkward but brief. Divya marshals the search party, assigning quadrants. Julia is given the hallway closet, where she finds only broken umbrellas, old coats, and a deflated yoga ball. Others uncover two hoodies, a music memoir, and a keyboard Jeremy had loaned Gabe. None of the items on Julia's list—the guitar, sheet music, Mets cap, or medical bracelet—surface. The chapter ends with Divya shouting, "Found it!"
Key Events
- Julia arrives at Elizabeth's flat and meets Laurent the dog
- Julia cycles from relief about the pregnancy revelation to frustration that a reason is not an excuse
- Elizabeth obliquely suggests Julia was Gabe's enabler
- Julia examines the clutter and considers how objects can vanish in such a space
- Julia studies Gabe's album cover, silently questioning him
- A large group of Elizabeth's friends assembles to search for Gabe's belongings
- Julia has an awkward reunion with Louis, her brief hookup from the prior night
- The search uncovers minor items but nothing from Julia's list
- Divya shouts that she has found something, ending the chapter on a cliffhanger
Character Development
Julia
This chapter places Julia's emotional arc under a microscope. Her initial euphoria at having a "reason" for Gabe's silence—Elizabeth's pregnancy—collapses when she distinguishes a reason from an excuse. The rapid swing from relief to resentment shows Julia refining her thinking in real time. She is no longer grasping for any explanation; she demands one that accounts for his prolonged absence.
Julia also confronts Elizabeth's insinuation about enabling Gabe's drinking. She rejects the label but cannot shake it entirely, and the doubt lodges itself in her internal monologue. Her fixation on the hotel—If I had gone to the hotel, everything would be different—intensifies, revealing guilt she has not yet fully articulated. The chapter shows Julia caught between searching for Gabe's physical objects and searching for a version of events she can live with.
Elizabeth
Elizabeth's behavior is guarded yet revealing. She conceals her pregnancy beneath a long cardigan, telling the friends who arrive that she has not told everyone. Her pointed comment about alcohol suggests she holds Julia partially responsible for Gabe's struggles, or at least wants Julia to consider the possibility. Yet Elizabeth also organized a search party that doubles as a buffer—eleven people ensure she is never alone with Julia. Her cluttered flat mirrors her interior state: lived-in, disordered, full of things she has not yet sorted through.
The Friend Group
Divya takes command immediately, assigning tasks with an elementary-school-teacher energy. Jeremy reclaims his keyboard with visible relief, having avoided an awkward request. Emmanuel recognizes the search as a pretext for company, noting aloud that eleven people are not needed to find one man's belongings. Louis navigates his post-hookup encounter with Julia smoothly, though Julia notes she is not happy to see him. The assembled group represents a community mobilized around Elizabeth's grief—and, tangentially, Julia's quest.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
Reasons vs. Excuses
The chapter's central philosophical turn arrives when Julia realizes that a reason is not an excuse. Elizabeth's pregnancy supplies context, but context alone does not justify Gabe's month-long disappearance. Julia draws a line between understanding someone's circumstances and accepting their behavior, a distinction the novel has been building toward.
The Search as Physical and Emotional Labor
The search party literalizes Julia's broader mission. She came to London to find answers, and here she is, assigned a closet, sorting through broken umbrellas. The mismatch between what Julia seeks (the guitar, the sheet music, the bracelet, closure) and what the search yields (hoodies, a memoir, Jeremy's keyboard) mirrors the gap between the clarity she wants and the incomplete, unsatisfying fragments she keeps receiving.
Objects Left Behind
Gabe's belongings function as stand-ins for Gabe himself. Julia stares at his photograph on Dodger Stadium, willing him to explain. She checks album sleeves for hidden sheet music. The objects are traces, evidence he existed in this space. Their elusiveness—none of the core list items appear—reinforces how much of Gabe remains out of reach.
Cluttered Spaces as Interior Landscapes
Elizabeth's flat is not dirty but disordered: unrolled yoga mats, piled mail, records in forgotten stacks. Julia observes that things could disappear here without malice. The space reflects Elizabeth's emotional state after Gabe left—functional but unresolved, with everything slightly out of place. The clutter also answers Julia's earlier suspicion that Elizabeth was stonewalling; she genuinely does not know where everything is.
Community and Isolation
Elizabeth surrounds herself with eleven people to avoid being alone, and specifically to avoid being alone with Julia. The chapter illustrates how grief can draw people together while leaving the grieving person fundamentally isolated. Julia, the odd woman out, is given the hallway closet—a physical manifestation of her outsider status, even within a search ostensibly conducted for her benefit.
Why This Chapter Matters
Chapter Seventeen is the fulcrum on which Julia's investigation pivots. She arrived in London chasing facts; here she confronts the limits of what facts can provide. Learning the pregnancy context does not resolve her pain—it sharpens her questions about Gabe's silence. The chapter also assembles the novel's supporting cast in one room, creating a communal tableau that contrasts with Julia's solitary grief in earlier chapters. The gathering of friends—with their overlapping histories, jokes, and tensions—grounds the story in a social reality beyond Julia's interior monologue.
The cliffhanger ending—Divya shouting "Found it!"—propels the plot forward while refusing immediate resolution. The reader, like Julia, does not yet know what was found or whether it will bring the closure she seeks. Structurally, the chapter transforms the abstract search for answers into a tangible, collaborative excavation, then halts at the moment of potential discovery.
Study Questions and Answers
1. Why does Julia's relief at learning about Elizabeth's pregnancy last only one Tube stop?
Julia initially seizes on the pregnancy as a reason that explains Gabe's disappearance. Context feels like clarity. But almost immediately, she distinguishes between a reason and an excuse. Gabe's news was jarring, and needing a day or two to process it would be understandable. A month of silence, however, is not. Julia realizes that the pregnancy provides background but does not justify Gabe's failure to communicate with her, especially since the pregnancy predated their time together and therefore involved no betrayal. The short-lived relief marks Julia's growing unwillingness to accept partial explanations.
2. How does the physical state of Elizabeth's flat contribute to the chapter's themes?
The flat is cluttered but not unclean—objects are out of place, not dirty. This disorder serves two thematic functions. First, it exonerates Elizabeth from Julia's earlier suspicion of stonewalling; Elizabeth genuinely may not know where Gabe's things are, because items can easily vanish in a disorganized space. Second, the clutter mirrors Elizabeth's unresolved emotional state after Gabe left. The flat is functional and alive, full of plants and loved objects, but nothing is in its proper place. The mess externalizes an interior condition that Elizabeth has not yet sorted through.
3. What is the significance of the chapter ending on Divya's shout of "Found it!" rather than revealing what was found?
The unresolved ending creates narrative tension while reinforcing the chapter's central theme: searching yields fragments, not immediate closure. By withholding what Divya found, the novel keeps Julia—and the reader—in a state of suspension. This structural choice mirrors Julia's larger predicament. She has been searching for answers since Gabe's death, and each discovery has been partial, raising new questions rather than delivering resolution. The cliffhanger also shifts momentum toward the next chapter, suggesting that the most significant find of the search is yet to be disclosed.
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